[Ohio-talk] Here is an article that I had to share --The Bank Let Her Check Bounce,

[Cheryl Fields]

This is too funney and true, lol!

On 8/12/18, Suzanne Turner via Ohio-Talk <ohio-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> Published on Jul 31, 2018
>
>
>
> The Bank Let Her Check Bounce, So The Grandma Wrote This Letter. Her Answer
> Is Brilliant!
>
> This is an actual letter that was sent to a bank by an 86-year-old woman.
> It
> was so amusing that the bank's manager decided to have it published in the
> New York Times.
>
>
>
> "Dear Sir: I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I
> endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, 3 nanoseconds
> must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my
> account of the funds needed to honor it..
>
>
>
> I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire pension,
> an arrangement which, I admit, has been in place for only 8 years. You are
> to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for
> debiting my account $30 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to
> your bank.
>
>
>
> My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused
> me
> to rethink my errant financial ways. I noticed that whereas I personally
> answer your telephone calls and letters, - when I try to contact you, I am
> confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, pre-recorded, faceless entity
> which your bank has become. From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal
> with a flesh-and-blood person My mortgage and loan repayments will
> therefore
> and hereafter no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by
> check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank
> whom you must nominate.
>
>
>
> Be aware that it is an OFFENSE under the Postal Act for any other person to
> open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact which I
> require your chosen employee to complete. I am sorry it runs to eight
> pages,
> but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about
> me, there is no alternative.
>
>
>
> Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be
> countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her
> financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be
> accompanied by documented proof. In due course, at MY convenience, I will
> issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings
> with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I
> have modeled it on the number of button presses required of me to access my
> account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the
> sincerest form of flattery.
>
>
>
> Let me level the playing field even further.
>
> When you call me, press buttons as follows: IMMEDIATELY AFTER DIALING,
> PRESS
> THE STAR (*) BUTTON FOR ENGLISH #1. To make an appointment to see me #2. To
> query a missing payment. #3. To transfer the call to my living room in case
> I am there. # 4. To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
> #5. To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature. #6.
> To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home. #7. To leave a
> message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required.
> Password will be communicated to you at a later date to that Authorized
> Contact mentioned earlier. #8. To return to the main menu and to listen to
> options 1 through #9. To make a general complaint or inquiry. The contact
> will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering
> service. #10. This is a second reminder to press* for English. While this
> may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the
> duration of the call. Regrettably, but again following your example, I must
> also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new
> arrangement. May I wish you a happy, if ever so slightly less prosperous
> New
> Year? Your Humble Client And remember: Do not make old people mad. We do
> not
> like being old in the first place, so it does not take much to us off."
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
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-- 
Wishing You All the Best,

Cheryl E. Fields


A man has made at least a start on discovering the meaning of human
life when he plants shade trees under which he knows full well he will
never sit.
--D. Elton Trueblood