[Ohio-Talk] Here is an article from Ask Miss Whozit, from Bruised but Still Trying

Sun Nov 24 14:27:23 UTC 2019

Suzanne this was a great article thank you so much for sharing

Kathy Pingstock


Sent from my iPhone

> On Nov 24, 2019, at 12:06 AM, Suzanne Turner via Ohio-Talk <ohio-talk at nfbnet.org> wrote:
> 
> Ohio,
> 
> 
> 
> Today, I was hit with an activity that my adult daughter did and I could not
> believe it. Although she knows that I am blind, she left a McDonald's cup
> filled with soda on my counter directly close to my computer. Luckily, I
> found it prior to turning it over. So, I went to the NFB website and found
> an article that Miss Whozit wrote similar to my feelings. She knows better,
> but I wanted to pass this along if others are dealing with similar accounts.
> I thought that I was done with her; as I am working with my grandchildren to
> take ownership and be aware that I can not see when they do certain things.
> 
> 
> 
> Here it is!
> 
> 
> 
> Suzanne
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> ///
> 
> 
> 
> Ask Miss Whozit
> 
> From the Editor: In recent years Miss Whozit has answered reader questions
> about etiquette and good manners, particularly as they involve blindness. 
> 
> 
> 
> Dear Miss Whozit,
> 
> I have been legally blind for just under five years. I need your advice to
> decide how much it is reasonable for me to ask my family to modify their way
> of life now that I can't see the messes they leave around the house.
> 
> I have read Federation literature and am very encouraged about our attitudes
> about independence and normality, and I certainly don't want to use
> blindness as an excuse, but I am having trouble with some things that my
> kids do. Since my diagnosis my husband has gotten better at closing drawers
> and cupboard doors-he is certainly better than he was when I could see to
> close them and avoid walking into their corners. I guess I should have taken
> a stronger stand on such things when the children were little because when
> the kids come home for visits from college and their jobs, they are making
> my life miserable. 
> 
> Not only do they leave doors half open, they leave their not-quite-empty
> soda cans on the coffee and end tables. Of course I find them the hard way
> and then have to clean up the spills that result. I have asked them to close
> drawers and clean up after themselves, not to mention removing their shoes
> and coats from the living room floor, but they apparently can't be bothered.
> I don't want to spend their visits complaining and nagging, but I also don't
> want to spend them cleaning up messes and applying ice to my bruises. Please
> help me decide what is fair to ask others to do and chart a reasonable
> course in my home.
> 
> Bruised but Still Trying
> 
> 
> 
> Dear Bruised,
> 
> Miss Whozit commends you for your impulse to avoid using blindness as an
> excuse for insisting that the world be remade for your convenience. She
> merely wishes to enquire with all due respect, whose house is it anyway? A
> good deal of negotiating territory lies between insisting that every movable
> object in your home be returned to its exact location and no furniture
> should ever be moved out of its appointed position on the one hand and
> allowing members of your family to make your life miserable by disregarding
> reasonable requests to be considerate. Your husband can take a hand in
> resolving this unfortunate situation if he is willing to do so. When he
> observes someone leave a drawer open or sees a soda can in the living room,
> he can casually ask the offender to close the drawer or enquire whose can is
> on the table and then ask him or her to deal with it appropriately. Mostly
> adult children can be pretty lax about maintaining the rules of their
> parents' home when they have become used to the trash heaps that most dorm
> rooms and first apartments become at their hands. But that is no reason why
> they should not be expected to remember the adage: when in Rome, do as the
> Romans do.
> 
> When you are visiting in someone else's home, Miss Whozit is quite certain
> that you try to meet or exceed the owner's standard of neatness. You make
> the bed, hang up your towels, tuck away your possessions in public rooms,
> and offer to carry glasses and plates to the kitchen. Your children are
> becoming visitors in your home, and they should learn to adopt the same
> principle. When you are in an unfamiliar space, you would be advised to use
> your white cane to check your path and find room doors that are ajar, but
> you should not be forced to use the same precautions in your own home. Young
> children cannot be expected to pick up their possessions, and blind parents
> soon learn to kick the toys aside and pick up the mess frequently, but your
> adult children do not have the same excuse for inconveniencing or damaging
> you.
> 
> Miss Whozit emphatically urges you to establish rules of conduct in your
> home that will keep you in control of the space. She then urges you and your
> husband to inform your offspring and their friends that those who do not
> care to abide by these rules are welcome to spend their vacation time
> elsewhere and make brief visits when their behavior can be limited to that
> of casual guests. Hold the line by not making exceptions. If your home had
> just been painted, you would not allow anyone to write on the walls. If your
> husband was allergic to peanuts, you would not allow anyone to bring them
> into the house. No one would think you were obsessive if you asked people to
> remove their shoes before stepping onto new white carpeting. We all
> establish house rules to fit the circumstances of our families. Your
> circumstances have changed, and everyone should expect you to adjust the
> rules for your own convenience.
> 
> Good luck holding the line.
> 
> 
> 
> Suzanne Hartfield-Turner, President
> 
> NFBOH-Cleveland Chapter
> 
> C: (216) 990-6199
> 
> P: (641) 715-3900
> 
> Ex: 582705
> 
> A: PO Box 141077
> 
> Cleveland, Ohio 44114
> 
> E: President.NFB.ClevelandOhio at Gmail.com
> <mailto:President.NFB.ClevelandOhio at Gmail.com> 
> 
> 
> 
> Please visit and take a moment to like our Facebook Page!
> 
> https://m.facebook.com/NationalFederationOfTheBlindOfOhioClevelandChapter/ 
> 
> 
> 
> The National Federation of the Blind knows that blindness is not the
> characteristic that defines you or your future. Every day we raise the
> expectations of blind people, because low expectations create obstacles
> between blind people and our dreams. You can live the life you want;
> blindness is not what holds you back.
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
> 
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