[Pibe-division] Eating with a Fork-Emily G.

Wed Jan 7 04:24:36 UTC 2009

Dear Emily,

I have come back to this thread in "cleaning out" my inbox and read it more
carefully. I am interested to know what has come of it as this is not the
first time I have seen blind children (no other disability also) this age
being age inappropriate in eating and all it entails (salt and pepper,
opening cartons or juice box straws). 

My thought would be (if it was me) in this case to make a home visit even
just to find out if this was the tip of an ice berg (which I fear it is). I
guess also the question would be why the OT has no other concerns (if the
parent doesn't)-did you think she should? Was the OT trying to pass off
something to you or was it genuine and maybe even surprising to you that
this student (given performance in other areas) was not eating with a fork.
Anyway I'd like to know the rest of the story.

I am concerned about finding better or stronger ways to reach that group of
parents who seem to think they must do everything for their blind child and
have really low expectations. Some feel so overwhelmed they can't imagine
what to do or how to do it and are ashamed to ask. They have more fears and
false ideas about blindness than the determination to have their child do
normal things. They are more afraid of their child doing than not doing. I
notice it in educated economically well-off families and in uneducated and
low income and everything in-between. They think like the rest of the world
that it is amazing or inspirational when their child can do the simplest of
things that they wouldn't think twice about their sighted child doing. 

 I also sometimes find really "good" parents think some daily living things
must be taught by a professional too. In my experience, no one ever told me
what clearly was the TBS "job", they seemed to want to control everything at
school and never gave me any information about the how or why or what of
academics or what to look for or think about when integrating in a regular
classroom. They also made no inquiry about home even academically or to
ensure he had books, they never once offered any suggestions for social or
lunch or playground at home or school, for all they knew I was still cutting
his meat or handing him shampoo when he was 11 (I wasn't)- waiting for the
checklist for transition or the three year eval is too long and too late! My
son's teachers all knew of Future Reflections but never gave me a copy or
told me about it, or talked with me about "blindness" itself or what to
expect or what kind of commitment it took or what a blind adult needed for
home or work everyday. He had had five different teachers of blind students
by ninth grade-not one of them gave us anything. Obviously the doctors
aren't telling parents (and don't know) and if they don't find us (NFB)-who
is there to tell them but the teacher? 

I know you are not like the teacher's my son had Emily (and the same for
most if not all on this list I am sure), but I think it important to not
assume that a parent knows anything or most things and could be doing much
more for the student than is realized. There are ways to "check" and to give
the parent info without "threatening" or appearing to tell them they are bad
parents (which they might very well feel once they find out how "off" they
have been). It is also one thing to realize you have made big mistakes in
teaching or your job and to correct, I think it is a much harder thing to
face you have made mistakes in parenting. I know that just like there are a
few teachers who will never believe and shouldn't be teaching there are a
few parents who will never believe and maybe shouldn't be parenting; but for
the most part these over-protective or low-expecting parents I have found
want their fears calmed-they want a reason to believe; they just need some
evidence and some "how to's" and empowering to believe it is not rocket
science and they can do it.

Anyway I'd like to hear what has come of the situation if you don't mind
sharing more. 

 Best Regards,

Carrie Gilmer, President

National Organization of Parents of Blind Children

A Division of the National Federation of the Blind

NFB National Center: 410-659-9314

Home Phone: 763-784-8590

carrie.gilmer at gmail.com

www.nfb.org/nopbc

  _____  

From: pibe-division-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:pibe-division-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Gibbs, Emily
Sent: Monday, December 15, 2008 2:36 PM
To: aernet at lists.aerbvi.org; Professionals in Blindness Education Division
List
Subject: [Pibe-division] Eating with a Fork

I was just contacted by the OT in my school district and she is apparently
dismissing one of my blind students from service.   She had just discussed
this with the parent and the parent's only concern was the fact that this
11year old can not eat with a fork.   The OT wanted to know if I would be
willing to do a home visit in order to help them teach this student to eat
with a fork at home. 

What would you do in this situation?   

,Emily ,Gibbs

Emily L Gibbs M.Ed. NCLB

Teacher of Blind Students

586.489.6017

979.730.7155 x11594

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