[Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
Joe Shaw
jrs3147 at comcast.net
Sat Dec 27 06:33:58 UTC 2008
Ashley,
I am very tired and am hitting the sack. I feel good to give my email
address jrs3147 at comcast.net but I truely believe this to be a good
discussion on-list and think our board would agree. I am going to answer
this posting first thing in the morning. I want to give it some thought
rather than to ramble or make you feel as if I am being rude to you. I
believe I come off brash often and don't want to here.
Night,
Joe
----- Original Message -----
From: <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
<sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 10:47 PM
Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
> Hi Joe,
>
> Well, good for you if you are the type to involve the new member in the
> group. I know what you mean about the house. I am also the only blind
> one and when things are not put up, I stumble over them too if I can't see
> it. I have tunnel vision. But I think we both agree that storing the
> cane out of everybody's way so as not to offend or inconvience them is a
> good idea; its polite. I think its a way of blending in. I store my
> cane under my chair at restaurants and when going to dance, its at the
> table with someone. No haven't really been to a club although was at a
> thing called Player's pub at a resort where they had music, drinks and
> dancing for people over 21 only.
>
> As for socializing you said "I worry for you about the mind-set of this
> entire post I am
> replying to and think discussions like these are what the Federation is
> all
> about and are things that actually change what it means to be blind."
>
> I'm not sure what you mean and we might take it off list if you want to
> reply. so what is your email address?
> I mean I know the philosophy but I don't get your "worry" part. Maybe
> we'll disagree. I guess my life experience doesn't fit the nfb
> philosophy. Sorry; its just that being partially blind hasn't been just a
> nuisance to me. I am on many nfb lists though to learn what you all do
> and how. I met the nfb eight or nine years ago as a teen. Anyway, my
> point is that blindness
> is a barrier to meeting new people for many of us including me. If you
> disagree that's okay but I speak from experience so it may be a
> disagreement here.
> I am totally for going out of your comfort zone and educating people and
> attempting to fit in. But to acquire confidence and good self esteem you
> have to have successful relationships. Its a interconnected thing. To
> have confidence you have to feel normal and accepted but to gain
> confidence you have to
> have the social background for it. Hope that made sense. For instance
> take something recreation related. If a blind kid feels included at
> recess playing on the equipment, slides, swings etc they will gain
> confidence and positive self esteem. But if they are rejected by peers
> and/or discouraged from playing on everything or don't due to their own
> fear they will not acquire confidence.
>
> As for myself I find it uncomfortable to go into a crowd of people and not
> be able to find people I know. Sighted people can scan and find them that
> way. For instance there was a late night dinner at my campus and I walked
> in and didn't know anyone. I think someone came up to me later but til
> then I was alone. Having confidence doesn't seem to break the barrier.
> People also come up to me and say "hi" and don't identify themselves. I
> of course ask then. We need to be out there and doing regular things but
> even a positive attitude can only go so far. I mean you have to have
> people you're around do their part too such as identifying themselves when
> they come up to you or describing action if you're in a crowd where that's
> happening like a pep rally. Yes a positive attitude goes a long way. Yet
> if people don't accept you or make an effort on their part to include you
> well pretty soon you may loose some of the good attitude and/or
> confidence.
> As for myself I've had good and bad social experiences. But such examples
> are another long post.
>
> Happy holidays!
> Ashley
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
>>From: Joe Shaw <jrs3147 at comcast.net>
>>Sent: Dec 26, 2008 6:43 PM
>>To: Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List
>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>
>>You don't go to clubs (razz)
>>As for blind people being non-inclusive, I think sometimes you have to
>>make
>>the first move. In my groups, I am quick to invite and involve the "new
>>guy"
>>as I know of your ilk who is soo scared to talk to people and are afraid
>>you
>>will look funny or say the wrong thing. To that I say being the funny guy
>>or
>>the guy who does something stupid is often embraced by groups as it helps
>>them feel better about doing something out of their comfort zone. The
>>comfort zone and the combat zone are neighbors Ashley, the combat zone is
>>much more fun. I worry for you about the mind-set of this entire post I
>>am
>>replying to and think discussions like these are what the Federation is
>>all
>>about and are things that actually change what it means to be blind. You
>>say
>>blindness is a barrier to meeting new people and I am here to tell you
>>that
>>self-confidence, independence, self-esteem, and accomplishment are the
>>battering ram to that barrier. These tools cannot be culled without trial,
>>success, and yes failure. When you have gathered and honed who you are
>>socially, it is like shampoo wash, rinse, and repeat. I learn to be more
>>comfortable being me daily, join me.
>>As for being considerate to sighted people, I guess. I am the only blind
>>person in my house and noone puts anything away. I stumble over stuff
>>constantly. That is okay. When at a club or restaurant, there are almost
>>always no chairs pushed in. People can see that they are there. That is
>>okay. In many parking lots, many people park any old way they choose to
>>get
>>in and out of wherever it is. That is okay. All these examples are why I
>>use
>>the cane. No, I am not ultra worried if I leave my cane where someone
>>might
>>have to take a step to the right or to the left or step over it. Yes, I
>>usually stash my cane out of everybody else's way so as not to offend or
>>inconvenience anyone, but if I do, I don't stress over it much.
>>"Get up, Stand up!" "Stand up for your rights!" Stand Up For Your Rights
>>Bob
>>Marley
>>Yo Federation Brutha,
>>Joe Shaw
>>----- Original Message -----
>>From: <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
>>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 3:36 PM
>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>
>>
>>> Hi,
>>>
>>> Thanks for your all suggestions. I've done what Kelly has done in the
>>> past. Just looking for ideas and seeing what others thought. I, too,
>>> have left my cane at the table in a club/food setting. I'd leave it at
>>> the corner of the room in a class. I have done what Kelly did and some
>>> of
>>> you said, I leave it somewhere and walk sighted guide to the dance floor
>>> and back to my cane at the end.
>>>
>>> I am not shy but I am a little more reserved until you get to know me.
>>> I
>>> don't reveal a lot to those I don't know well. I have not made many
>>> friends though even though I tried to be out and about around campus. I
>>> just think there is this barrier; its difficult to go into a room and
>>> you
>>> don't know who is there like at club events. But that is a different
>>> matter. No shy and blind should not go together but sadly sometimes
>>> they
>>> do. I've seen shy people at nfb meetings and other places like at camps
>>> for the blind. They are overlooked because few can see them and blind
>>> people tend to mingle with those they already know rather than a
>>> newcomer
>>> in my experience.
>>>
>>> Anyway, I do care where I put the cane and what image I project. I
>>> think
>>> saying who cares will turn people off. We live with sighted people and
>>> its important to be considerate. It should not be in the way of other
>>> people. Yes its an independent life issue but we have to balance our
>>> rights with the rights of others.
>>> If a cane is in the path at a restaurant someone else will care who is
>>> trying to walk by.
>>>
>>> Ashley
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>> -----Original Message-----
>>>>From: Joe Shaw <jrs3147 at comcast.net>
>>>>Sent: Dec 26, 2008 1:23 AM
>>>>To: Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List
>>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>>
>>>>Ashley,
>>>>I have found that shy and blind don't mix well with one another. Leave
>>>>your
>>>>cane wherever you want, who cares. Slide it under your chair, put in the
>>>>corner behind the door at the restroom, give it to sighted friends to
>>>>hold/
>>>>play with while you're dancin. I believe this is a Federation
>>>>phylosiphy/
>>>>independent life issue. Who cares where you put your cane as long as it
>>>>is
>>>>safe and you know where it is. I mean, this is not Plaxico looking for a
>>>>good spot to put his gun before it went off. If you are alone, I guess
>>>>this
>>>>could be an issue though wouldn't you just leave it where you are
>>>>sitting
>>>>be
>>>>it the bar or a table while you dance? If with a group, surely someone
>>>>in
>>>>the group would hold/ watch it while you are cutting your proverbial
>>>>rug.
>>>>In
>>>>my group of blind friends that I have had for a long time, there are
>>>>usually
>>>>a couple types. There is the guy who is very shy because he is blind and
>>>>doesn't have a lot of friends but for those who he has been friends with
>>>>for
>>>>many years and has trouble meeting new people. Then there is the guy who
>>>>doesn't care about his blindness, is outgoing, starts conversations, and
>>>>has
>>>>many friends because he is never afraid to make the initial move. Always
>>>>be
>>>>the ladder Ashley. The ladder is usually the NFB guy.
>>>>"Do a little dance" "Make a little love" "Get down tonight" Get Down
>>>>Tonight
>>>>K.C. and the Sunshine Band
>>>>Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukkah/ hope everyone had a nice Wednesday and
>>>>Thursday lol.
>>>>JS
>>>>----- Original Message -----
>>>>From: "Carly Mihalakis" <carlymih at earthlink.net>
>>>>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
>>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>>Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 5:32 PM
>>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>> Kelly,
>>>>>
>>>>> You said it!
>>>>> If you're a single chick, or even a single guy dance class could be a
>>>>> great place to meet people, as well as enlighten others of blind
>>>>> peoples'
>>>>> abilities.
>>>>> I realize it sounds scary, but remember how often the protocol in
>>>>> certain
>>>>> situations calls for entirely swollowing your pride, not really being
>>>>> too
>>>>> embarassed just to live your life on your terms?
>>>>> I have been to social salsa dancing, and when I come to a new partner
>>>>> I
>>>>> just say "I'm blind" and it never matters, for I can move. simply
>>>>> leaving
>>>>> the cane at the corner of the dance room (in classes), at the table
>>>>> with
>>>>> other friends (out in clubs), or with the bar tender (there is an
>>>>> advantage of being considered a good tipper) works well. I have
>>>>> carried
>>>>> my
>>>>> folding cane, but not often. Or, you can leave the cane in a trusted
>>>>> place, find the cutest, single, opposite gendered dance partner, and
>>>>> go
>>>>> sighted guide back to your cane. Hey, cheesy I know, but I've met a
>>>>> few
>>>>> repeat dance partners that way, and if you are going to go sighted
>>>>> guide
>>>>> anyway...It also gives a chance to enlighten another person about what
>>>>> you
>>>>> can do as a blind person, when you might need a little assistance, and
>>>>> most importantly that you are approachable as a blind person.
>>>>>
>>>>>>As mentioned before, partner dancing is very accessible for everyone.
>>>>>>One
>>>>>>advantage we have is that we pay more attention to how the moves
>>>>>>"feel"
>>>>>>as
>>>>>>opposed to how they "look," often considered to be a better
>>>>>>learning/practice method than pure visualization.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>So, jump in with both feet (put both feet in, put both feet out, put
>>>>>>both
>>>>>>feet in and shake 'em all about...come on, we knew it was coming).
>>>>>>Enjoy
>>>>>>it, and develop a new experience for yourself and those in the class
>>>>>>who
>>>>>>may have never danced with such a good partner who just happens to be
>>>>>>blind.
>>>>>>_______________________________________________
>>>>>>Sportsandrec mailing list
>>>>>>Sportsandrec at nfbnet.org
>>>>>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/sportsandrec_nfbnet.org
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>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>> _______________________________________________
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>>>>
>>>>
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>>>
>>> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
>>>
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>>
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>
> Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
>
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