[Sportsandrec] Cane Placement

Carly Mihalakis carlymih at earthlink.net
Sat Dec 27 07:33:47 UTC 2008 

Joe,

Where' your LYRIC, boy?
I thought it was a pact between music fans!
Carly
"
>Ashley,
>I am very tired and am hitting the sack. I feel good to give my 
>email address jrs3147 at comcast.net but I truely believe this to be a 
>good discussion on-list and think our board would agree. I am going 
>to answer this posting first thing in the morning. I want to give it 
>some thought rather than to ramble or make you feel as if I am being 
>rude to you. I believe I come off brash often and don't want to here.
>Night,
>Joe
>----- Original Message ----- From: <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List" 
><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 10:47 PM
>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>
>
>>Hi Joe,
>>
>>Well,  good for you if you are the type to involve the new member 
>>in the group.  I know what you mean about the house.  I am also the 
>>only blind one and when things are not put up, I stumble over them 
>>too if I can't see it.  I have tunnel vision.  But I think we both 
>>agree that storing the cane out of everybody's way so as not to 
>>offend or inconvience them is a good idea; its polite.  I think its 
>>a way  of blending in.  I store my cane under my chair at 
>>restaurants and when going to dance, its at the table with 
>>someone.  No haven't really been to a club although was at a thing 
>>called Player's pub at a resort where they had music, drinks and 
>>dancing for people over 21 only.
>>
>>As for socializing you said "I worry for you about the mind-set of 
>>this entire post I am
>>replying to and think discussions like these are what the Federation is all
>>about and are things that actually change what it means to be blind."
>>
>>I'm not sure what you mean and we might take it off list if you 
>>want to reply.  so what is your email address?
>>I mean I know the philosophy but  I don't get your "worry" 
>>part.  Maybe we'll disagree.  I guess my life experience doesn't 
>>fit the nfb philosophy.  Sorry; its just that being partially blind 
>>hasn't been just a nuisance to me.  I am on many nfb lists though 
>>to learn what you all do and how.  I met the nfb eight or nine 
>>years ago as a teen.  Anyway, my point is that blindness
>>is a barrier to meeting new people for many of us including me.  If 
>>you disagree that's okay but I speak from experience so it may be a 
>>disagreement here.
>>I am totally for going out of your comfort zone and educating 
>>people and attempting to fit in.  But to acquire confidence and 
>>good self esteem you have to have successful relationships.  Its a 
>>interconnected thing.  To have confidence you have to feel normal 
>>and accepted but to gain confidence you have to
>>have the social background for it.  Hope that made sense.  For 
>>instance take something recreation related.  If a blind kid feels 
>>included at recess playing on the equipment, slides, swings etc 
>>they will gain confidence and positive self esteem.  But if they 
>>are rejected by peers and/or discouraged from playing on everything 
>>or don't due to their own fear they will not acquire confidence.
>>
>>As for myself I find it uncomfortable to go into a crowd of people 
>>and not be able to find people I know.  Sighted people can scan and 
>>find them that way.  For instance there was a late night dinner at 
>>my campus and I walked in and didn't know anyone.  I think someone 
>>came up to me later but til then I was alone.  Having confidence 
>>doesn't seem to break the barrier. People also come up to me and 
>>say "hi" and don't identify themselves.  I of course ask then.  We 
>>need to be out there and doing regular things but even a positive 
>>attitude can only go so far.  I mean you have to have people you're 
>>around do their part too such as identifying themselves when they 
>>come up to you or describing action if you're in a crowd where 
>>that's happening like a pep rally.  Yes a positive attitude goes a 
>>long way.  Yet if people don't accept you  or make an effort on 
>>their part to include you well pretty soon you may loose some of 
>>the good attitude and/or confidence.
>>As for myself I've had good and bad social experiences.  But such 
>>examples are another long post.
>>
>>Happy holidays!
>>Ashley
>>
>>
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>>From: Joe Shaw <jrs3147 at comcast.net>
>>>Sent: Dec 26, 2008 6:43 PM
>>>To: Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List 
>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>
>>>You don't go to clubs (razz)
>>>As for blind people being non-inclusive, I think sometimes you have to make
>>>the first move. In my groups, I am quick to invite and involve the "new guy"
>>>as I know of your ilk who is soo scared to talk to people and are afraid you
>>>will look funny or say the wrong thing. To that I say being the funny guy or
>>>the guy who does something stupid is often embraced by groups as it helps
>>>them feel better about doing something out of their comfort zone. The
>>>comfort zone and the combat zone are neighbors Ashley, the combat zone is
>>>much more fun.  I worry for you about the mind-set of this entire post I am
>>>replying to and think discussions like these are what the Federation is all
>>>about and are things that actually change what it means to be blind. You say
>>>blindness is a barrier to meeting new people and I am here to tell you that
>>>self-confidence, independence, self-esteem, and accomplishment are the
>>>battering ram to that barrier. These tools cannot be culled without trial,
>>>success, and yes failure. When you have gathered and honed who you are
>>>socially, it is like shampoo wash, rinse, and repeat. I learn to be more
>>>comfortable being me daily, join me.
>>>As for being considerate to sighted people, I guess. I am the only blind
>>>person in my house and noone puts anything away. I stumble over stuff
>>>constantly. That is okay. When at a club or restaurant, there are almost
>>>always no chairs pushed in. People can see that they are there. That is
>>>okay. In many parking lots, many people park any old way they choose to get
>>>in and out of wherever it is. That is okay. All these examples are why I use
>>>the cane. No, I am not ultra worried if I leave my cane where someone might
>>>have to take a step to the right or to the left or step over it. Yes, I
>>>usually stash my cane out of everybody else's way so as not to offend or
>>>inconvenience anyone, but if I do, I don't stress over it much.
>>>"Get up, Stand up!" "Stand up for your rights!" Stand Up For Your Rights Bob
>>>Marley
>>>Yo Federation Brutha,
>>>Joe Shaw
>>>----- Original Message ----- From: <bookwormahb at earthlink.net>
>>>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>Sent: Friday, December 26, 2008 3:36 PM
>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>
>>>
>>>>Hi,
>>>>
>>>>Thanks for your all suggestions.  I've done what Kelly has done in the
>>>>past.  Just looking for ideas and seeing what others thought.  I, too,
>>>>have left my cane at the table in a club/food setting.  I'd leave it at
>>>>the corner of the room in a class.  I have done what Kelly did and some of
>>>>you said, I leave it somewhere and walk sighted guide to the dance floor
>>>>and back to my cane at the end.
>>>>
>>>>I am not shy but I am a little more reserved until you get to know me. I
>>>>don't reveal a lot to those I don't know well.  I have not made many
>>>>friends though even though I tried to be out and about around campus.  I
>>>>just think there is this barrier; its difficult to go into a room and you
>>>>don't know who is there like at club events.  But that is a different
>>>>matter.  No shy and blind should not go together but sadly sometimes they
>>>>do.  I've seen shy people at nfb meetings and other places like at camps
>>>>for the blind.  They are overlooked because few can see them and blind
>>>>people tend to mingle with those they already know rather than a newcomer
>>>>in my experience.
>>>>
>>>>Anyway, I do care where I put the cane and what image I project.  I think
>>>>saying who cares will turn people off.  We live with sighted people and
>>>>its important to be considerate.  It should not be in the way of other
>>>>people.  Yes its an independent life issue but we have to balance our
>>>>rights with the rights of others.
>>>>If a cane is in the path at a restaurant someone else will care who is
>>>>trying to walk by.
>>>>
>>>>Ashley
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>
>>>>-----Original Message-----
>>>>>From: Joe Shaw <jrs3147 at comcast.net>
>>>>>Sent: Dec 26, 2008 1:23 AM
>>>>>To: Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List
>>>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>>>
>>>>>Ashley,
>>>>>I have found that shy and blind don't mix well with one another. Leave
>>>>>your
>>>>>cane wherever you want, who cares. Slide it under your chair, put in the
>>>>>corner behind the door at the restroom, give it to sighted friends to
>>>>>hold/
>>>>>play with while you're dancin. I believe this is a Federation phylosiphy/
>>>>>independent life issue. Who cares where you put your cane as long as it is
>>>>>safe and you know where it is. I mean, this is not Plaxico looking for a
>>>>>good spot to put his gun before it went off. If you are alone, I guess
>>>>>this
>>>>>could be an issue though wouldn't you just leave it where you are sitting
>>>>>be
>>>>>it the bar or a table while you dance? If with a group, surely someone in
>>>>>the group would hold/ watch it while you are cutting your proverbial rug.
>>>>>In
>>>>>my group of blind friends that I have had for a long time, there are
>>>>>usually
>>>>>a couple types. There is the guy who is very shy because he is blind and
>>>>>doesn't have a lot of friends but for those who he has been friends with
>>>>>for
>>>>>many years and has trouble meeting new people. Then there is the guy who
>>>>>doesn't care about his blindness, is outgoing, starts conversations, and
>>>>>has
>>>>>many friends because he is never afraid to make the initial move. Always
>>>>>be
>>>>>the ladder Ashley. The ladder is usually the NFB guy.
>>>>>"Do a little dance" "Make a little love" "Get down tonight" Get Down
>>>>>Tonight
>>>>>K.C. and the Sunshine Band
>>>>>Merry Christmas/ Happy Hanukkah/ hope everyone had a nice Wednesday and
>>>>>Thursday lol.
>>>>>JS
>>>>>----- Original Message ----- From: "Carly Mihalakis" 
>>>>><carlymih at earthlink.net>
>>>>>To: "Sports and Recreation for the Blind Discussion List"
>>>>><sportsandrec at nfbnet.org>
>>>>>Sent: Thursday, December 25, 2008 5:32 PM
>>>>>Subject: Re: [Sportsandrec] Cane Placement
>>>>>
>>>>>
>>>>>>Kelly,
>>>>>>
>>>>>>         You said it!
>>>>>>If you're a single chick, or even a single guy dance class could be a
>>>>>>great place to meet people, as well as enlighten others of blind
>>>>>>peoples'
>>>>>>abilities.
>>>>>>I realize it sounds scary, but remember how often the protocol in
>>>>>>certain
>>>>>>situations calls for entirely swollowing your pride, not really being
>>>>>>too
>>>>>>embarassed just to live your life on your terms?
>>>>>>I have been to social salsa dancing, and when I come to a new partner I
>>>>>>just say "I'm blind" and it never matters, for I can move. simply
>>>>>>leaving
>>>>>>the cane at the corner of the dance room (in classes), at the table with
>>>>>>other friends (out in clubs), or with the bar tender (there is an
>>>>>>advantage of being considered a good tipper) works well. I have carried
>>>>>>my
>>>>>>folding cane, but not often. Or, you can leave the cane in a trusted
>>>>>>place, find the cutest, single, opposite gendered dance partner, and go
>>>>>>sighted guide back to your cane. Hey, cheesy I know, but I've met a few
>>>>>>repeat dance partners that way, and if you are going to go sighted guide
>>>>>>anyway...It also gives a chance to enlighten another person about what
>>>>>>you
>>>>>>can do as a blind person, when you might need a little assistance, and
>>>>>>most importantly that you are approachable as a blind person.
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>As mentioned before, partner dancing is very accessible for everyone.
>>>>>>>One
>>>>>>>advantage we have is that we pay more attention to how the moves "feel"
>>>>>>>as
>>>>>>>opposed to how they "look," often considered to be a better
>>>>>>>learning/practice method than pure visualization.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>So, jump in with both feet (put both feet in, put both feet out, put
>>>>>>>both
>>>>>>>feet in and shake 'em all about...come on, we knew it was coming). Enjoy
>>>>>>>it, and develop a new experience for yourself and those in the class who
>>>>>>>may have never danced with such a good partner who just happens to be
>>>>>>>blind.
>>>>>>>_______________________________________________
>>>>>>>Sportsandrec mailing list
>>>>>>>Sportsandrec at nfbnet.org
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>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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>>>>>
>>>>>
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>>>>
>>>>
>>>>Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
>>>>
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>>>
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>>
>>Merry Christmas and Happy New Year
>>
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>
>
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