[stylist] having obviously different eyes

Mon Feb 16 20:35:16 UTC 2009

I was born with microophthalmia so my eyes were small and a milky-white 
color.  When I was six I had an unsuccessful cornea transplant so my left 
eye shrunk so the eye never opened.  I didn't get a prosthesis until I was 
sixteen and the ocularist made it look just like my right eye.  I went to a 
residential school so dating was discouraged.
In collegeI sort of dated one guy who could see.  Until I met my husband, he 
was the only sighted guy who showed any interest in me.
Since I got prostheses that look like "normal" eyes when I lost my sight 
completely earlier this decade I think I got more positive responses from 
people.  I still have a hard time remembering to look at people when I talk 
to them and that usually throws them off.
But no longer do I have to hear the children out there ask me why my eyes 
look funny and keep telling me to open them.
It can be disheartening but just try to be a likeable chap and surely there 
must be someone who is mature enough to know you can't judge a book by its 
cover.
Barbara
If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 12:45 PM
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] having obviously  different eyes

> Outstanding.  I am happy for you.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Kasondra Payne
> Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 12:07 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [stylist] having obviously different eyes
>
>
>
> I was born with cataracts in both eyes.  The cataract in my right eye was
> removed when I was a baby, I developed glaucoma in that eye some years
> later.  The cataract in my left eye was removed when I was thirteen, and I
> had some sight in both eyes for the next year and a half.  My retina in my
> right eye detached during my freshman year of high school after a surgery 
> to
> control the pressure.  Later, an inflammation invaded the remaining eye, 
> and
> caused a lot of pain and havoc.
>
> At about that time, a young man named Shawn entered my life.  We had met 
> in
> church several years before, but we hated each other.  Finally we decided
> that the other was worth a second look.  Even though we were too young to
> date, he was my closest friend, and he attended Church dances and 
> activities
> just to be with me.  He understood how I had been teased and left out
> because he had got it too because he was overweight.  He is one of the few
> people who knows what I looked like before I got my prosthetic shell over
> the emploded mess of my right eye.
>
> Shawn and I dated during most of high school.  We drifted apart, and we
> didn't see each other for four and a half years.  I dated others, but they
> weren't right.  I had believed as a teenager that Shawn was the right one
> for me.
>
> I thank God that he brought us back together in January of 1999.  We were
> married on July 17, 1999.  Shawn has always accepted my blindness, and he
> joined the NFB before we got married.  Shawn is sighted, and sometimes he
> has become the default driver for events, and he is always willing to 
> help.
> He has learned Braille and had cane travel lessons.  Two of our children 
> are
> blind,  and he has been right there wit me to make sure that they have the
> education and skills they need.
>
> Yes, my eyes look different.  Sighted people think my right eye is real, 
> and
> they do not believe that it is fake--until I pop it out and show them.  I 
> am
> so thankful that I have a sweet man by my side who accepts me no matter 
> how
> my eyes look!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: James Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> Sent: Sunday, February 15, 2009 7:04 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] having obviously different eyes
>
>
> I'd posted this under the thoughtprovoker-love, and thought I'd
> repost on its own topic in case anybody wants to discuss this. I
> found and fixed some typos, too.
> I understand what you express about your eyes, I understand it first-hand.
> I was born with a half dozen eye deformities, some of which weren't
> supposed to occur in the same eyes. the miracle was I had some
> limited left eye vision
> until I was thirteen when a generalized inflamation whiped out my
> retinas in the seeing and unseeing eyes. so, besides the
> deformities, my eyes then always looked
> perminently bloodshot. one eye was smaller than the other.
>
> I could never ever even think of getting a date in high school. many
> times on the high school campus I would first become aware of one or
> more girls staring
> at me because I would hear "eewwwwww!" I did go to the Prom, a third
> party arranged for me to go with a Japanese girl who had braces. I
> don't think she
> was happy to go with me but she did. we had no relationship after that.
> when I was twenty-five, the scarring from that general inflamation
> was calcifying, hardening, and one of my birth defects was
> glaucoma. put these two together
> and you get very painful eyes.
>
> so, mine were removed. the eyes I have now made by the occularist
> are quite nice and people really like them. they absolutely cannot
> tell they are prosthetics.
>
> yes, sighted women love to look in their men's eyes, especially at
> special moments. but there are women who are of a deeper disposition
> who will see your
> heart, and if you have a good character, they will find that very
> attractive Justin.
>
> having deformed eyes is hard, I won't lie to you about that. but
> there are other things in life. and the really good women won't be
> put off by deformed
> eyes.
>
> ---
> to add, after the removal of my eyes, it took me some months to
> adjust to having prosthetics. that was hard too. it felt strange,
> though my ugly deformed eyes were gone I had to learn to use the
> prosthetics and to have them as part of my appearance and who I am.
>
> jc
>
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
>
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