[stylist] having obviously different eyes

Mon Feb 16 20:49:00 UTC 2009

Barbara, I love that quote in your signature, who said it? 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Barbara Hammel
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 12:35 PM
To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] having obviously different eyes

I was born with microophthalmia so my eyes were small and a milky-white
color.  When I was six I had an unsuccessful cornea transplant so my left
eye shrunk so the eye never opened.  I didn't get a prosthesis until I was
sixteen and the ocularist made it look just like my right eye.  I went to a
residential school so dating was discouraged.
In collegeI sort of dated one guy who could see.  Until I met my husband, he
was the only sighted guy who showed any interest in me.
Since I got prostheses that look like "normal" eyes when I lost my sight
completely earlier this decade I think I got more positive responses from
people.  I still have a hard time remembering to look at people when I talk
to them and that usually throws them off.
But no longer do I have to hear the children out there ask me why my eyes
look funny and keep telling me to open them.
It can be disheartening but just try to be a likeable chap and surely there
must be someone who is mature enough to know you can't judge a book by its
cover.
Barbara
If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Justin Williams" <justin.williams2 at gmail.com>
Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 12:45 PM
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] having obviously  different eyes

> Outstanding.  I am happy for you.
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] 
> On Behalf Of Kasondra Payne
> Sent: Monday, February 16, 2009 12:07 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: Re: [stylist] having obviously different eyes
>
>
>
> I was born with cataracts in both eyes.  The cataract in my right eye 
> was removed when I was a baby, I developed glaucoma in that eye some 
> years later.  The cataract in my left eye was removed when I was 
> thirteen, and I had some sight in both eyes for the next year and a 
> half.  My retina in my right eye detached during my freshman year of 
> high school after a surgery to control the pressure.  Later, an 
> inflammation invaded the remaining eye, and caused a lot of pain and 
> havoc.
>
> At about that time, a young man named Shawn entered my life.  We had 
> met in church several years before, but we hated each other.  Finally 
> we decided that the other was worth a second look.  Even though we 
> were too young to date, he was my closest friend, and he attended 
> Church dances and activities just to be with me.  He understood how I 
> had been teased and left out because he had got it too because he was 
> overweight.  He is one of the few people who knows what I looked like 
> before I got my prosthetic shell over the emploded mess of my right 
> eye.
>
> Shawn and I dated during most of high school.  We drifted apart, and 
> we didn't see each other for four and a half years.  I dated others, 
> but they weren't right.  I had believed as a teenager that Shawn was 
> the right one for me.
>
> I thank God that he brought us back together in January of 1999.  We 
> were married on July 17, 1999.  Shawn has always accepted my 
> blindness, and he joined the NFB before we got married.  Shawn is 
> sighted, and sometimes he has become the default driver for events, 
> and he is always willing to help.
> He has learned Braille and had cane travel lessons.  Two of our 
> children are blind,  and he has been right there wit me to make sure 
> that they have the education and skills they need.
>
> Yes, my eyes look different.  Sighted people think my right eye is 
> real, and they do not believe that it is fake--until I pop it out and 
> show them.  I am so thankful that I have a sweet man by my side who 
> accepts me no matter how my eyes look!
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: James Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com>
> Sent: Sunday, February 15, 2009 7:04 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] having obviously different eyes
>
>
> I'd posted this under the thoughtprovoker-love, and thought I'd repost 
> on its own topic in case anybody wants to discuss this. I found and 
> fixed some typos, too.
> I understand what you express about your eyes, I understand it first-hand.
> I was born with a half dozen eye deformities, some of which weren't 
> supposed to occur in the same eyes. the miracle was I had some limited 
> left eye vision until I was thirteen when a generalized inflamation 
> whiped out my retinas in the seeing and unseeing eyes. so, besides the 
> deformities, my eyes then always looked perminently bloodshot. one eye 
> was smaller than the other.
>
> I could never ever even think of getting a date in high school. many 
> times on the high school campus I would first become aware of one or 
> more girls staring at me because I would hear "eewwwwww!" I did go to 
> the Prom, a third party arranged for me to go with a Japanese girl who 
> had braces. I don't think she was happy to go with me but she did. we 
> had no relationship after that.
> when I was twenty-five, the scarring from that general inflamation was 
> calcifying, hardening, and one of my birth defects was glaucoma. put 
> these two together and you get very painful eyes.
>
> so, mine were removed. the eyes I have now made by the occularist are 
> quite nice and people really like them. they absolutely cannot tell 
> they are prosthetics.
>
> yes, sighted women love to look in their men's eyes, especially at 
> special moments. but there are women who are of a deeper disposition 
> who will see your heart, and if you have a good character, they will 
> find that very attractive Justin.
>
> having deformed eyes is hard, I won't lie to you about that. but there 
> are other things in life. and the really good women won't be put off 
> by deformed eyes.
>
> ---
> to add, after the removal of my eyes, it took me some months to adjust 
> to having prosthetics. that was hard too. it felt strange, though my 
> ugly deformed eyes were gone I had to learn to use the prosthetics and 
> to have them as part of my appearance and who I am.
>
> jc
>
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
>
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