[stylist] having obviously different eyes
James Canaday M.A. N6YR
n6yr at sunflower.com
Mon Feb 16 22:51:12 UTC 2009
I forgot to add thanks for the stories of how your special men got
into your lives.
I met Lynda at guide dog school, training with our third guide dogs
in '92; fortunately she slept through the first lecture that
included the line "this is not the loveboat."
jc
Jim Canaday M.A.
Lawrence, KS
At 04:43 PM 2/16/2009, you wrote:
>kasondra and Barbara,
>one result of my experiences with my eyes, and being the object of
>girls' revulsion was I carried a lot of anger toward girls my own age.
>
>I imagine you found some emotional relief having the prosthetics, both of you.
>
>barb,
>it does feel good to get those comments, but for me that was only
>after I had accepted them myself.
>
>having such eyes really sets you apart, gives you you very different
>experiences.
>
>now, I can't imagine going back to having deformed eyes. people
>tell me I am perhaps handsome, but after having deformed eyes such
>comments go in one ear and out the other. I know consciously that
>the occularist did a really good job making these eyes. but the
>experience of twenty-five years with obviously deformed eyes makes
>my first reaction to be a bit shy and to consider my appearance as
>poorer than others.
>jc
>
>Jim Canaday M.A.
>Lawrence, KS
>
>At 11:07 AM 2/16/2009, you wrote:
>
>
>>I was born with cataracts in both eyes. The cataract in my right
>>eye was removed when I was a baby, I developed glaucoma in that eye
>>some years later. The cataract in my left eye was removed when I
>>was thirteen, and I had some sight in both eyes for the next year
>>and a half. My retina in my right eye detached during my freshman
>>year of high school after a surgery to control the
>>pressure. Later, an inflammation invaded the remaining eye, and
>>caused a lot of pain and havoc.
>>
>>At about that time, a young man named Shawn entered my life. We
>>had met in church several years before, but we hated each
>>other. Finally we decided that the other was worth a second
>>look. Even though we were too young to date, he was my closest
>>friend, and he attended Church dances and activities just to be
>>with me. He understood how I had been teased and left out because
>>he had got it too because he was overweight. He is one of the few
>>people who knows what I looked like before I got my prosthetic
>>shell over the emploded mess of my right eye.
>>
>>Shawn and I dated during most of high school. We drifted apart,
>>and we didn't see each other for four and a half years. I dated
>>others, but they weren't right. I had believed as a teenager that
>>Shawn was the right one for me.
>>
>>I thank God that he brought us back together in January of
>>1999. We were married on July 17, 1999. Shawn has always accepted
>>my blindness, and he joined the NFB before we got married. Shawn
>>is sighted, and sometimes he has become the default driver for
>>events, and he is always willing to help. He has learned Braille
>>and had cane travel lessons. Two of our children are blind, and
>>he has been right there wit me to make sure that they have the
>>education and skills they need.
>>
>>Yes, my eyes look different. Sighted people think my right eye is
>>real, and they do not believe that it is fake--until I pop it out
>>and show them. I am so thankful that I have a sweet man by my side
>>who accepts me no matter how my eyes look!
>>
>>-----Original Message-----
>>From: James Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com>
>>Sent: Sunday, February 15, 2009 7:04 PM
>>To: stylist at nfbnet.org
>>Subject: [stylist] having obviously different eyes
>>
>>
>> I'd posted this under the thoughtprovoker-love, and thought I'd
>> repost on its own topic in case anybody wants to discuss this. I
>> found and fixed some typos, too.
>> I understand what you express about your eyes, I understand it first-hand.
>> I was born with a half dozen eye deformities, some of which weren't
>> supposed to occur in the same eyes. the miracle was I had some
>> limited left eye vision
>> until I was thirteen when a generalized inflamation whiped out my
>> retinas in the seeing and unseeing eyes. so, besides the
>> deformities, my eyes then always looked
>> perminently bloodshot. one eye was smaller than the other.
>>
>> I could never ever even think of getting a date in high school. many
>> times on the high school campus I would first become aware of one or
>> more girls staring
>> at me because I would hear "eewwwwww!" I did go to the Prom, a third
>> party arranged for me to go with a Japanese girl who had braces. I
>> don't think she
>> was happy to go with me but she did. we had no relationship after that.
>> when I was twenty-five, the scarring from that general inflamation
>> was calcifying, hardening, and one of my birth defects was
>> glaucoma. put these two together
>> and you get very painful eyes.
>>
>> so, mine were removed. the eyes I have now made by the occularist
>> are quite nice and people really like them. they absolutely cannot
>> tell they are prosthetics.
>>
>> yes, sighted women love to look in their men's eyes, especially at
>> special moments. but there are women who are of a deeper disposition
>> who will see your
>> heart, and if you have a good character, they will find that very
>> attractive Justin.
>>
>> having deformed eyes is hard, I won't lie to you about that. but
>> there are other things in life. and the really good women won't be
>> put off by deformed
>> eyes.
>>
>> ---
>> to add, after the removal of my eyes, it took me some months to
>> adjust to having prosthetics. that was hard too. it felt strange,
>> though my ugly deformed eyes were gone I had to learn to use the
>> prosthetics and to have them as part of my appearance and who I am.
>>
>> jc
>>
>> Jim Canaday M.A.
>> Lawrence, KS
>>
>>
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