[stylist] question

[John Lee Clark]

Judith:

It seems you haven't read all of my message.  I said that I was sighted half
of my life--sixteen years sighted before I became legally blind, so you can
add to that more years of retaining considerable vision.

Sure, I do remember everything I saw.  But do I miss it?  Not really.  

When I became blind, I found my world vastly broadened and deepened and
richer.  "Other" elements did not merely replace the joys of sight, but they
far outstripped vision.  The sights I saw while growing up were certainly
beautiful, but what I am experiencing now is far more so.  That's why I
cannot say that I miss being sighted.  If anything, it would have been great
to become blind earlier.

And perhaps it'd be useful to note here that when my vision began to
"decline," I chose to become functionally blind.  I could have continued
using my sight quite well for many more years for travel, driving, reading,
and listening to sign language visually, but I chose not to.  That was the
very best non-spritual decision I made in my whole life, to start reading
Braille full time, listen to signing tactilely, and using my cane--in spite
of still having vision.

Anyway, I could go on and on, and write this with my blood, but I do so love
being blind and would not change it for the world.  Who needs the mere sight
of a rose when you can inhale an intoxicating cocktail of scents that carry
thousands of tantalizing bits of information that conjure up panormas of
awareness: that the rose is a hybrid, its scent mixed with that unmistakable
bitter odor of ladybug, and the moist soil with Anderson grass and the smell
of maples yonder, and the lake two blocks away, and the scent of let me
guess four teenage girls walking past and wafts of crossaint, almonds, and
raspberries from Woullet's Bakery down Lake Street, and you can feel the
gentle breeze weaving together again after being broken by the maples and
there is the sweet, almost honey like sweat of my twins romping around
nearby.  And oh the pleasures of textures, densities, of the feel, the exact
grain of surfaces, or the unique spring in a knob, the varying levels of
heat on different parts of the body--have you ever felt the special heat of
a stressed knee and the kinee tells you, without words but quite plainly,
how to touch it so to release its ache?  Have you ever bitten into a
doughnut and realized that it has a touch of sweet birch bark and a dash of
Celtic sea salt?  Have you ever smelled a person change all the way from sad
to happy because you've cheered her up?  Have you ever met a friend's dog
for the first time and the dog's body gives you detailed instructions on
where to rub, where to scratch, where to really dig in, to bring the dog to
spasmic orgasms of sheer animal ectasy?  Have you ever caught the scent of
sickness and warned your friend that he is going to be sick soon if not
already, and to go and eat an apple and drink lots of water to deter it?
Have you ever fixed something that's jammed that nobody seems able to fix,
and you can feel where it'[s jammed because you can feel all the way through
whatever shaft, whatever springs, whatever rods, to where the problem is,
and it's as if you can see everything inside even if you're not feeling
those things directly, and you are able to fix it and then smile at others'
amazement and say, with all honesty, "Oh, it's nothing"?

Oh dear me, I do love living in the tactile, olfactory, and kinesthetic
world that I do.  Nothing in all of my former life as sighted person can
compare.  Not even my mother's lovely face, not even the brilliant white of
new-fallen snow, or the lush green of the hills, nor the white tops of
mountains against the lapis lazuli of the late afternoon sky, with its tint
of purple, nor a summer sunset where mauve segues into Giotto's dream of
indigo and there appears a thin crescent like a shaving of soap gouged by a
fingernail, or the paring of that fingernail, right up there in the sky and
if you're in Montana, you could see the stars shining.  All of that is
beauitufl, to be sure, but it still doesn'[t compare.  

I may be terribly mistaken, but I suspect that if you got your vision back,
you'd be terribly disappointed by it and you'd discover that it wasn't THAT
great after all.  Because it isn't, not really.

And I also suspect that some would want their vison back because they were
sighted during a simpler time in their lives, when they had no
responsibilities.  Maybe it's like a Dear Abby letter I read recently.  This
woman is happily married with children, but of late had been thinking of her
first love from high school, and it turns out that the guy still thinks of
her.  She told Abby that she loved her husband but was wondering if she
should see her old flame, because maybe it's true love . . .  But Abby said,
No way.  We all love the memories of our first loves,s and these feelings
can last a lifetime.  But a lot of it has to do with the whole picture then,
not the guy.  You were carefree, weren't yet an adult, didn't have a job,
children, and a mature, complicated relationship with a spouse.  You just
had a boyfriend.  If you go back to the guy, now in a new context, with your
job and life responsibilities and stresses, you'll discover that the guy
isn't that great and is probably not half as great as your husband that you
do love right now in spite of all the stresses you have now in your adult
life.

So maybe, for some, vision is like the boyfriend from high school, and
blindness is like your spouse that you do love.  But sometimes you remember
the old times and miss them, and you wonder, What if I went back to that
boyfriend, what if it's true love . . .  But you'll be disappointed, most
likely.

But my situation may be a bit different, because it was my fortune to dump
my old girlfriend, who I did like, for a drop dead gorgeous bombshell
fireball of a passionate, mind-blowing woman who is simply many times
sexier, funnier, smarter, and stimulating than my old girlfriend called
sight.  I am very, very happy in my marriage to my blindness.

What else can I say?

John  

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:46 PM
To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] question

John, Were you ever sighted?  If so do you remember what it was like to see 
a child trying with all their might to fit a piece in a puzzle?  Do you 
remember the brilliance of a perfect rose?  Do you remember the beauty of a 
sunset?  I do.  Do I miss it?  Yes!  However, I am happy with myself and 
know I can do even better things with my limitations.  You will never 
believe that some people are happy being themselves even though that 
definition of self is not yours.  Think about it John.  Like I said before, 
you have a lot to offer the world with your talents.  Don't blow the whole 
thing by waging a war that doesn't have to be fought, or won.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:35 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question


> Judith:
>
> Oh, please.  Sighted is NOT better than blind.  It is just that those who
> have sight are rewarded with more from society.  But EVEN SO, even with
> society's favoring sightedness over blindness, I have often found 
> blindness
> to be better than being sighted in so many things.  In their 
> over-dependence
> on vision, sighted people neglect so many wonderful resources and 
> potential
> skills.  But it works all right for them to some shallow degree, but
> whenever they hit an unusual situation or problem or lose something or
> things don't go as planned or any number of other things, I've found that
> they are often very weak, clueless, slow, lost.
>
> Mayb e this is a deaf-blind perspective and not a blind one?  Maybe the
> blind are the same as sighted people in their relying overmuch on one
> sense--hearing--and in so doing experience disability more acutely when
> encountering sight-related matter?  I don't know.  But let me assure you
> that the other senses I had the privilege of cultivating are wonderful and
> are better tools than full vison and hearing for many things.  Perhaps the
> most important of them to me is kinethestics.
>
> But the real bottom line is that we ALL are disabled in that we are merely
> human and we ALL use our minds to overcome this universal problem.
>
> Are you, then, suggesting that blind people's minds are not as good as
> sighted people's minds?  Because that would be the ONLY explanation for
> sighted being better than blind.  Otherwise, one wouldn't be better than 
> the
> other at all, just somewhat different.
>
> John
>
>
>
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:46 PM
> To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>
> John, The reality, as much as you disagree, is that being sighted is 
> better
> than being blind.  Terms like "visually impaired", "Visually challenged" 
> or
> any of the like are legislated terms.  I can't see any better or worse 
> when
> a bureaucrat describes my visual limitations.  I am what I am.  Like I 
> said
> before, I have to take those limitations, do the best I can to do what I 
> am
> capable of and continue striving to be the best me I can be.  I don't care
> how society looks at my limitations.  And, yes, they are limitations.  I
> have to be the one to deal with them.  Almost every person in this world 
> has
>
> limitations.  Some can create beautiful artwork, some can't.  Some can 
> write
>
> beautifully, some can't put together a cognizant statement either verbally
> or in writing.  Some have athletic prowess while others are happy being
> couch potatoes.  Some love to eat while others are skinny and physically 
> fit
>
> their entire life.  All "problems", all "limitations" when put in the
> perspective of the optimum and people all over the world live with them
> every day.  When was the last time you heard of the "art impaired" person?
> Or the person who can't sing one note without causing distress to the 
> other
> person's eardrums?  Are there cultures for the tone deaf?  The person who
> can't draw a straight line?  John, deal with John.  Society has enough
> problems.  As a society we have a lot to deal with, but making John 
> socially
>
> comfortable isn't one of them.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
> To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:56 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>
>
>> Lori:
>>
>> I love the words blind and deaf.  I abhor anything with impaired in it.
>>
>> Although the definition of blind may say one who cannot see, and that's a
>> negative description, we still have the opportunity to neutralize the 
>> word
>> itself and have it convey something else entirely, into something that's
>> cool.  Same with deaf.  We can take it and turn it around, and associate
>> it
>> with culture, pride, ASL, all sorts of great and positive things.
>>
>> But you can't neutralize and turn around a term like sight impaired.
>> Tthat
>> term does two very bad, bad, bad things.  First, it implies that sight is
>> the ideal, that it's right, and what we SHOULD have, and that if we don't
>> have it, we SHOULD want it.  This is society talking, "Sight is better."
>>
>> Second, the term implies that we're broken or we're short of the ideal, 
>> or
>> we've fallen from the grace of what society says is normal.  This is very
>> bad, bad, bad.
>>
>> Does NFB merely "prefer" the word blind?  It shouldn't.  it should 
>> embrace
>> it absolutely.
>>
>> John
>>
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>>
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Checked by AVG. 
Version: 7.5.557 / Virus Database: 270.11.26/2020 - Release Date: 3/24/2009
9:19 AM