[stylist] question

Wed Mar 25 12:54:14 UTC 2009

John, I became blind after my 5 kids were born.  I had the responsibilities, 
a happy home, money problems and the ability to drive them to the doctor, a 
friend's house or school.  I loved my life.  I can understand your 
enchantment with blindness, but I guess I'm not blind enough to crave being 
just like you.  I'm happy being me.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, March 25, 2009 12:55 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] question


> Judith:
>
> It seems you haven't read all of my message.  I said that I was sighted 
> half
> of my life--sixteen years sighted before I became legally blind, so you 
> can
> add to that more years of retaining considerable vision.
>
> Sure, I do remember everything I saw.  But do I miss it?  Not really.
>
> When I became blind, I found my world vastly broadened and deepened and
> richer.  "Other" elements did not merely replace the joys of sight, but 
> they
> far outstripped vision.  The sights I saw while growing up were certainly
> beautiful, but what I am experiencing now is far more so.  That's why I
> cannot say that I miss being sighted.  If anything, it would have been 
> great
> to become blind earlier.
>
> And perhaps it'd be useful to note here that when my vision began to
> "decline," I chose to become functionally blind.  I could have continued
> using my sight quite well for many more years for travel, driving, 
> reading,
> and listening to sign language visually, but I chose not to.  That was the
> very best non-spritual decision I made in my whole life, to start reading
> Braille full time, listen to signing tactilely, and using my cane--in 
> spite
> of still having vision.
>
> Anyway, I could go on and on, and write this with my blood, but I do so 
> love
> being blind and would not change it for the world.  Who needs the mere 
> sight
> of a rose when you can inhale an intoxicating cocktail of scents that 
> carry
> thousands of tantalizing bits of information that conjure up panormas of
> awareness: that the rose is a hybrid, its scent mixed with that 
> unmistakable
> bitter odor of ladybug, and the moist soil with Anderson grass and the 
> smell
> of maples yonder, and the lake two blocks away, and the scent of let me
> guess four teenage girls walking past and wafts of crossaint, almonds, and
> raspberries from Woullet's Bakery down Lake Street, and you can feel the
> gentle breeze weaving together again after being broken by the maples and
> there is the sweet, almost honey like sweat of my twins romping around
> nearby.  And oh the pleasures of textures, densities, of the feel, the 
> exact
> grain of surfaces, or the unique spring in a knob, the varying levels of
> heat on different parts of the body--have you ever felt the special heat 
> of
> a stressed knee and the kinee tells you, without words but quite plainly,
> how to touch it so to release its ache?  Have you ever bitten into a
> doughnut and realized that it has a touch of sweet birch bark and a dash 
> of
> Celtic sea salt?  Have you ever smelled a person change all the way from 
> sad
> to happy because you've cheered her up?  Have you ever met a friend's dog
> for the first time and the dog's body gives you detailed instructions on
> where to rub, where to scratch, where to really dig in, to bring the dog 
> to
> spasmic orgasms of sheer animal ectasy?  Have you ever caught the scent of
> sickness and warned your friend that he is going to be sick soon if not
> already, and to go and eat an apple and drink lots of water to deter it?
> Have you ever fixed something that's jammed that nobody seems able to fix,
> and you can feel where it'[s jammed because you can feel all the way 
> through
> whatever shaft, whatever springs, whatever rods, to where the problem is,
> and it's as if you can see everything inside even if you're not feeling
> those things directly, and you are able to fix it and then smile at 
> others'
> amazement and say, with all honesty, "Oh, it's nothing"?
>
> Oh dear me, I do love living in the tactile, olfactory, and kinesthetic
> world that I do.  Nothing in all of my former life as sighted person can
> compare.  Not even my mother's lovely face, not even the brilliant white 
> of
> new-fallen snow, or the lush green of the hills, nor the white tops of
> mountains against the lapis lazuli of the late afternoon sky, with its 
> tint
> of purple, nor a summer sunset where mauve segues into Giotto's dream of
> indigo and there appears a thin crescent like a shaving of soap gouged by 
> a
> fingernail, or the paring of that fingernail, right up there in the sky 
> and
> if you're in Montana, you could see the stars shining.  All of that is
> beauitufl, to be sure, but it still doesn'[t compare.
>
> I may be terribly mistaken, but I suspect that if you got your vision 
> back,
> you'd be terribly disappointed by it and you'd discover that it wasn't 
> THAT
> great after all.  Because it isn't, not really.
>
> And I also suspect that some would want their vison back because they were
> sighted during a simpler time in their lives, when they had no
> responsibilities.  Maybe it's like a Dear Abby letter I read recently. 
> This
> woman is happily married with children, but of late had been thinking of 
> her
> first love from high school, and it turns out that the guy still thinks of
> her.  She told Abby that she loved her husband but was wondering if she
> should see her old flame, because maybe it's true love . . .  But Abby 
> said,
> No way.  We all love the memories of our first loves,s and these feelings
> can last a lifetime.  But a lot of it has to do with the whole picture 
> then,
> not the guy.  You were carefree, weren't yet an adult, didn't have a job,
> children, and a mature, complicated relationship with a spouse.  You just
> had a boyfriend.  If you go back to the guy, now in a new context, with 
> your
> job and life responsibilities and stresses, you'll discover that the guy
> isn't that great and is probably not half as great as your husband that 
> you
> do love right now in spite of all the stresses you have now in your adult
> life.
>
> So maybe, for some, vision is like the boyfriend from high school, and
> blindness is like your spouse that you do love.  But sometimes you 
> remember
> the old times and miss them, and you wonder, What if I went back to that
> boyfriend, what if it's true love . . .  But you'll be disappointed, most
> likely.
>
> But my situation may be a bit different, because it was my fortune to dump
> my old girlfriend, who I did like, for a drop dead gorgeous bombshell
> fireball of a passionate, mind-blowing woman who is simply many times
> sexier, funnier, smarter, and stimulating than my old girlfriend called
> sight.  I am very, very happy in my marriage to my blindness.
>
> What else can I say?
>
> John
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 6:46 PM
> To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>
> John, Were you ever sighted?  If so do you remember what it was like to 
> see
> a child trying with all their might to fit a piece in a puzzle?  Do you
> remember the brilliance of a perfect rose?  Do you remember the beauty of 
> a
> sunset?  I do.  Do I miss it?  Yes!  However, I am happy with myself and
> know I can do even better things with my limitations.  You will never
> believe that some people are happy being themselves even though that
> definition of self is not yours.  Think about it John.  Like I said 
> before,
> you have a lot to offer the world with your talents.  Don't blow the whole
> thing by waging a war that doesn't have to be fought, or won.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
> To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 5:35 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>
>
>> Judith:
>>
>> Oh, please.  Sighted is NOT better than blind.  It is just that those who
>> have sight are rewarded with more from society.  But EVEN SO, even with
>> society's favoring sightedness over blindness, I have often found
>> blindness
>> to be better than being sighted in so many things.  In their
>> over-dependence
>> on vision, sighted people neglect so many wonderful resources and
>> potential
>> skills.  But it works all right for them to some shallow degree, but
>> whenever they hit an unusual situation or problem or lose something or
>> things don't go as planned or any number of other things, I've found that
>> they are often very weak, clueless, slow, lost.
>>
>> Mayb e this is a deaf-blind perspective and not a blind one?  Maybe the
>> blind are the same as sighted people in their relying overmuch on one
>> sense--hearing--and in so doing experience disability more acutely when
>> encountering sight-related matter?  I don't know.  But let me assure you
>> that the other senses I had the privilege of cultivating are wonderful 
>> and
>> are better tools than full vison and hearing for many things.  Perhaps 
>> the
>> most important of them to me is kinethestics.
>>
>> But the real bottom line is that we ALL are disabled in that we are 
>> merely
>> human and we ALL use our minds to overcome this universal problem.
>>
>> Are you, then, suggesting that blind people's minds are not as good as
>> sighted people's minds?  Because that would be the ONLY explanation for
>> sighted being better than blind.  Otherwise, one wouldn't be better than
>> the
>> other at all, just somewhat different.
>>
>> John
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>> -----Original Message-----
>> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
>> Behalf Of Judith Bron
>> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:46 PM
>> To: NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>>
>> John, The reality, as much as you disagree, is that being sighted is
>> better
>> than being blind.  Terms like "visually impaired", "Visually challenged"
>> or
>> any of the like are legislated terms.  I can't see any better or worse
>> when
>> a bureaucrat describes my visual limitations.  I am what I am.  Like I
>> said
>> before, I have to take those limitations, do the best I can to do what I
>> am
>> capable of and continue striving to be the best me I can be.  I don't 
>> care
>> how society looks at my limitations.  And, yes, they are limitations.  I
>> have to be the one to deal with them.  Almost every person in this world
>> has
>>
>> limitations.  Some can create beautiful artwork, some can't.  Some can
>> write
>>
>> beautifully, some can't put together a cognizant statement either 
>> verbally
>> or in writing.  Some have athletic prowess while others are happy being
>> couch potatoes.  Some love to eat while others are skinny and physically
>> fit
>>
>> their entire life.  All "problems", all "limitations" when put in the
>> perspective of the optimum and people all over the world live with them
>> every day.  When was the last time you heard of the "art impaired" 
>> person?
>> Or the person who can't sing one note without causing distress to the
>> other
>> person's eardrums?  Are there cultures for the tone deaf?  The person who
>> can't draw a straight line?  John, deal with John.  Society has enough
>> problems.  As a society we have a lot to deal with, but making John
>> socially
>>
>> comfortable isn't one of them.
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "John Lee Clark" <johnlee at clarktouch.com>
>> To: "'NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Tuesday, March 24, 2009 1:56 PM
>> Subject: Re: [stylist] question
>>
>>
>>> Lori:
>>>
>>> I love the words blind and deaf.  I abhor anything with impaired in it.
>>>
>>> Although the definition of blind may say one who cannot see, and that's 
>>> a
>>> negative description, we still have the opportunity to neutralize the
>>> word
>>> itself and have it convey something else entirely, into something that's
>>> cool.  Same with deaf.  We can take it and turn it around, and associate
>>> it
>>> with culture, pride, ASL, all sorts of great and positive things.
>>>
>>> But you can't neutralize and turn around a term like sight impaired.
>>> Tthat
>>> term does two very bad, bad, bad things.  First, it implies that sight 
>>> is
>>> the ideal, that it's right, and what we SHOULD have, and that if we 
>>> don't
>>> have it, we SHOULD want it.  This is society talking, "Sight is better."
>>>
>>> Second, the term implies that we're broken or we're short of the ideal,
>>> or
>>> we've fallen from the grace of what society says is normal.  This is 
>>> very
>>> bad, bad, bad.
>>>
>>> Does NFB merely "prefer" the word blind?  It shouldn't.  it should
>>> embrace
>>> it absolutely.
>>>
>>> John
>>>
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>>>
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