[stylist] question

[John Lee Clark]

Judith:

Unschooling doesn't result in kids growing up into adults who act like they
can get anything they want.  Life itself has very clear and fixed parameters
that my boys go up against every day, as as we all humans do, they cope with
this reality.  

Because of this, my boys are very reasonable and sensible boys.  Sometimes
they'd want something that's beyond our budget.  What we do is have them be
aware of the simple, real truth that we don't have the money.  Then we
sympathize with their desire to get it.  I want some things I can't afford,
too, so I genuinely empathize.  Then we discuss how we might still get it,
by saving, or by saving and looking for an used one instead of new.  This is
a great opportunity for them to make choices.  All of my boys have saved up
for stuff, and they are actually better than Adrean and I are with our own
savings.

Yes, many parents who don't use this complete mindful parenting approach
will surely find they have to set artificial parameters and rules.
Unschooling in part, mixed with the Victorian traditions, doesn't work,
because the premises are totally different.

What does often contribute to adults acting most irresponsibly comes from
traditional schooling.  You look at any college, and you'll notice that the
freshmans, well, I won't describe in graphic detail what a great majority of
them do.  Much of the real, actual learning they need to do to cope with
real life is delayed until they are out of their parents' houses.  Only then
do they catch up on all what they feel like they've been deprived of, and
they experiment madly and wildly, and it's often only then they begin to
figure out what they want to do in their lives.

Unschooling is not for everyone, as it is a huge investment and requires a
whole shift in everything we do in our lives.  Also, many parents are
unwilling to regard their children as who they really are.  Children are
often viewed as second-class citizens, or chattel.  Many parents, sadly,
treat their friends and guests better than they do their own children.  It's
true.

No, it doesn't mean we think babies are born fully mature.  But it does mean
we believe they are born fully human with human feelings and deserving of
the same respect as we are.

I encourage you to Goggle it up.  I am so glad that our Father in Heaven led
us to this, and this has brought much peace and joy to our family.

John

 

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