[stylist] Trials of an honorary Dragon. chapter 24 (new chapter)-comments

[helene ryles]

Hi Jim,
Thanks for your feedback.
Do you mean rimmed as in 'the metal rimed litter bin' as I can't fidn
the word rimming. I meant the edge of the litter bin.

What do you mean by the history exactly?

When I walk with my long cane I have to check for landmarks  very
frequently or I get lost. I'd imagine a hearing blind person has sound
to go by but I'm profoundly deaf and in most lighting conditions blind
too.
Although I've never needed a crutch but I do know someone who is
deafblind and uses a crutch too. The crutch is only temporary for Liza
as in a previous chapter she was attacked by a dragon and then the
owner attacked her too. But that happened a few months ago. Maybe she
won't need th crutch any more.

Helene

On 23/10/2009, James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
> Helene,
> I've not been able to follow all the changes and
> chapters but I read this one.  meet the blind
> month has been extremely busy around here!
>
> here's a few comments on this chapter:
> Ever so often I would reach out
>
> "ever so often" has the sense of very frequent,
> like maybe  the character reached out on
> alternate steps or nearly every step, that
> frequent.  "ever so" is a great phrase for
> emphasis and I must remember to use it ever so  much more often.
>
> "every now and then" or just "now and then" has
> the sense of an  infrequent, irregular pattern.
> she's walking with cane in one hand, and crutch
> under the other arm.  do you mean the crutch hand
> is what she reaches out with?
>
> in three or four places the explanations or
> history of the peoples and why they do things got
> a little tedious and I wished for a little less of that.
> "riming" I think you mean a different word there.
> jc
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
> At 07:32 PM 10/22/2009, you wrote:
>>Chapter 24
>>Painful passages by Liza Bronze
>>
>>I woke up on a hard wooden surface.  My body felt stiff and painful.
>>It was completely dark.  I could tell from the cold and feel of the
>>wind on my face that I was outdoors somewhere.
>>I touched the wooden surface to find I had been sleeping on a bench.
>>It seemed familiar from somewhere so I reached out a hand to the left
>>to touch a metal rimed litter bin.  There was grass to the left, Grass
>>to the right, and in front was a sandy slope going down.
>>I knew where I was then.  I was at Stilosarka central park.  As if to
>>confirm this I heard a noise, which I guessed to be the sound of
>>ducks.  I often came here to feed the birds.  I must have drifted off
>>to sleep on my way to meeting up with Nadia.
>>At the thought of Nadia, I had a horrible memory of me fleeing with
>>her and Katrina.    As soon as we got to the dragon’s private
>>quarters, Nadia began to shrink.  She was growing feathers.   The next
>>thing I knew it was no longer Nadia at all but a raven.
>>No, that couldn’t be right.  I brushed the unpleasant memory away.
>>Nadia must be with Tan Darth.
>>I felt my braille watch to discover the time was three am.  If I
>>hurried now I could see Nadia before I went into work.
>>There was something about my job that I should remember, but I
>>couldn’t think what.
>>  I got up, pulling out my cane, and made my way carefully along the
>>path, out of the park.  Ever so often I would reach out a hand to my
>>left to feel for my next landmark.  My hand touched the intricate
>>pattern on the wrought iron gate at the entrance of the park.  My feet
>>touched cobblestones.  I crossed over, feeling for the brick wall on
>>the other side of the road, then along a couple of streets. It was so
>>quiet in the street that I could hear absolutely nothing, even after I
>>turned up my cochlear implant as far as it would go.
>>By the scent of the blossoms I guessed there should be a wooden fence
>>on my left.  I felt a sense of relief when my hand touched the rough
>>untreated wood.
>>I was about to turn into a gravel driveway when I sensed someone
>>following me.  I could not hear or see them, but I could smell a faint
>>trace of lavender perfume and I could sense someone watching me.
>>I walked straight past the gravel driveway.  At the end of the street,
>>I turned to cross the road, heading back for the railway station.
>>There was a bench there where I could sit and wait until it was time
>>to get to work.  Normally Tan Darth flew me to Keraina so I could
>>catch the train into work, which would be less suspicious if someone
>>was watching me, but that was out of the question right now.
>>  There was no way I could use the ladder going down, since my body
>>felt so tender and I was afraid of falling.  I wasn’t sure how I could
>>possibly have got to Tan Darth’s roof anyway.  It was a matter that I
>>had only just considered.  Walking was hard enough with my crutch on
>>one side, and my long cane on the other, but the lift operator would
>>not be around at that time of night.  I would just have to wait on the
>>bench.
>>My various aches and pains seemed to remind me of their presence more
>>insistently while I waited.  Especially my eye, there was obviously
>>something wrong with it.  I also had more time to think how badly my
>>life was going now.
>>
>>I am experiencing living hell.  I'm not just referring to the physical
>>pain from my eye, or my various injuries.
>>Physical pain was nothing compared to the emotional pain I felt.
>>Like when I was trying to entertain the guests at Nadia and Sunniva's
>>birthday party.  I tripped over something and all the children were
>>laughing at me, including Nadia.  Now that really hurt.
>>I felt confused at the thought of the party since I had no
>>recollection of when that happened.  It seemed one of the clusters of
>>memories that I felt so desperate to push away.
>>It seemed Nadia had changed.  Where had my sweet little Nadia gone?
>>She had been refusing to wear her cochlear implant. I tried to accept
>>that, hoping it was just a phase she was going through.
>>Nadia's also decided to take up a vegan diet. Not that I have anything
>>against her following a vegan lifestyle. My dear sweet husband Vinny
>>is also Vegan.  If only she didn’t take her veganism to such extremes.
>>  I gave her a lovely model dog for her birthday.  I thought she would
>>be really pleased with it, but she didn't even thank me for it.  She
>>just asked me if it was vegan.
>>Nadia seems to really resent Vinny.   She said some really hurtful
>>things about him.  I can't understand how anyone can fail to like
>>Vinny.  He is the nicest man I’ve ever met.  He really helps me accept
>>my sight problems, and the fact I now need a long cane all the time
>>since I have so many blind spots.   I would never have coped with any
>>of that if Vinny wasn't there to support me.
>>It seemed that Nadia blamed him for the lack of time I could spend
>>with her, but he's got nothing to do with that.  Every time I visit
>>Nadia it puts her at risk.  Both Madrella and Beria are on to me.
>>There have been so many close calls.
>>If that wasn't bad enough there was my mother to deal with too.   I
>>used to think that it was just a matter of getting mother away from my
>>abusive father.  I thought she would be pleased, but she isn't.  She
>>keeps asking me when she can visit father in prison.  I took her to
>>stay with the Parvesh witches, but she complained almost constantly
>>about my mother-in-law and her bossy ways.  I tried inviting her to
>>Nadia's birthday party but she pulled her hand away.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>I smelt the lavender perfume more strongly now.  A hand touched mine.
>>I started as I felt the fabrics of a tunic brushing against me.
>>"Sorry to make you jump like that. It's Katrina here.   Are you ready
>>to go yet?" a pair of hands asked using tactile sign language.
>>"Ready to go? Ready to go where? What are you doing here anyway?" I
>>asked in confusion.
>>"I‘ve been following you to make sure you were ok.  You were very
>>upset after your appointment with the eye doctor, and you were
>>diagnosed with Glaucoma…” Katrina explained.
>>After that a tide of unpleasant memories came flooding back to me.
>>I would not have seen Nadia at Tan Darth’s place
>>since she had left months ago.
>>I remembered that awful party that should never have happened.
>>I had wanted to make things up to Nadia, but the party went wrong
>>right from the start.  There were supposed to be two powerful witches
>>there, but Van’s human companion wouldn’t stay for the party.
>>“This is too bad; I wanted to spend some time alone with my dragon.
>>The witch clan that I am staying with produce children in plague like
>>proportions.  I wanted a brat-free break with my dragon, so you are
>>just going to have to call the whole thing off,” she stormed.
>>Van’s human companion must have left straight after putting the
>>protective charms on her dragon’s property.
>>I couldn‘t possibly call off the party.  I’d already told Nadia I was
>>throwing a party for her.  Plus there were physical problems with me
>>not being able to see the screen of my large print Mincom any more.
>>Then after struggling to run that dreadful party, my sister Madrella had
>> come.
>>
>>“So where is Nadia?” I asked Katrina.
>>“I can’t say.  I can assure you thought that Nadia is ok.  The girl we
>>took with us wasn’t Nadia.  It was Wendy Krum.   My aim was to get
>>Madrella and Beria away from the real Nadia as far as possible.  I’m
>>waiting for a phone call right now, telling me where Nadia is, so I
>>can take you to meet her before she goes up north with me.  She will
>>be safer there," Katrina told me.
>>"No, I’ve already had to be separated from Nadia while my wounds were
>>healing.  I would worry too much if she was too far away.   She's
>>getting resentful enough as it is.  If I abandoned her altogether she
>>would never forgive me," I told her.
>>“She’ll get over it.  You won't be abandoning her anyway, just having
>>a break. Right now I can tell that your nerves are getting really
>>frayed.  Lapses in memory are always a bad sign.  Your eye condition
>>isn‘t helping things either," Katrina told me.
>>“I’m going to go completely blind now aren‘t I?” I asked Katrina.
>>  “Not necessarily, although that could happen.  It would have been
>>less likely to happen if your mother-in-law had booked you an
>>appointment when she first noticed your sight deteriorate.  She
>>noticed months ago, but unfortunately she was too fatalistic to
>>consider the possibility that something might be done about your
>>sight, so she helped you improve your blind skills instead,” Katrina
>>explained.
>>I remembered that, my mother-in-law had been very insistent that I
>>improve on my long cane technique and other blind skills.  She bought
>>me a braille watch as an extra wedding anniversary present.  She said
>>I would definitely need it in the future.  I'm not sure if she was
>>referring to my delicate eyes or whether she could forecast the
>>future.   I greatly resented her over bearing approach to my life, but
>>as far as long cane skills go, I'm now very glad mine have improved.
>>  “This fatalistic approach is typically Nazdonian, particularly
>>amongst the older generation,” Katrina continued, “They accept
>>whatever life throws at them as being fated to happen that way.  It’s
>>one of the reasons that there are so many disabled people in Nazdonia.
>>The rate of blindness is particularly high in comparison to the rest
>>of the world.”
>>“I thought that was because of the lack of modern medicine,” I commented.
>>“Well that’s part of it, but there are a number of other reasons
>>besides.  People assume in a nation with so many witches, that the
>>witches would be bound to make everyone perfect.  It doesn’t happen
>>that way since magic is more likely to make things go wrong, then put
>>things right.  My husband does a lot with his weather magic to help
>>the local villagers, but this is an exception rather then a rule.  In
>>general witches keep themselves to themselves.  There is a lot of
>>inbreeding amongst the witch clans.  For example, the high incidence
>>of blindness in the Parvesh clan is due to inbreeding and so is the
>>high incidence of Deafness in the Krum clan.  Plus some of the less
>>scrupulous witches use their magic to blind others with.  They even do
>>it to their own family members.”
>>I went quiet after that, hoping for a change of subject.   Madrella
>>hadn’t even bothered to use her magic to blind me with.  She had
>>simply used her fists.
>>At that moment I heard Katrina’s mobile phone ring.
>>“I’m sorry Liza; I’ve got some really bad news for you.  It’s about Nadia…”
>>
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