[stylist] DBG (chapter 4)

Barbara Hammel poetlori8 at msn.com
Mon Sep 7 20:53:43 UTC 2009


You'd probably still use eyes unless she's a cyclops.
Even if one doesn't work, it's still there.
Barbara

If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.

--------------------------------------------------
From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
Sent: Monday, September 07, 2009 3:41 PM
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG (chapter 4)

> Hi Laura,
> By a period, do you mean full stop?
> I don't think lack of punctuation is a british thing, just that it
> isn't really my strong point and neither is spelling but my spell
> check picks out most of the misspelt words unless they have
> alternative meanings. Which is probably why it didn't pick out
> 'lounge' as that's also a word.
>
> Yes, Nazdonia is mostly desert lanscape.
>
> Liza has one working eye. The other had a detached retina so she is
> completely blind in that eye. Would I use eyes or eye in this case?
>
> Ok, I'll use rescue then.
>
> Thanks for going over it for me.
>
> Helene
>
> On 07/09/2009, LoriStay at aol.com <LoriStay at aol.com> wrote:
>> If you say four a.m. (periods after each letter here), you don't need to
>> mention it's morning, since a.m. means morning.   In this case, I'd leave
>> the
>> a.m. out and let the rest of the sentence define it.
>>
>> As the train arrived Stormy tried to make a lounge
>> You probably mean a lunge   (l u n g e, rather than l o u n g e)
>>
>>  So I had to kidnap you
>> instead...
>> I'd probably say rescue rather than kidnap.   Kidnap has rather a bad
>> connotation.   We've had a lot of children kidnapped in the states 
>> recently,
>> and
>> then found again.   Their kidnappers had sexually molested them.     Yes,
>> rescue is definitely the word I'd use.
>>
>> question:   is this a desert environment?   That's the only place I'd
>> expect to see trains and camels (as I have in the mid-east)
>>  This was
>> something I wasn't use to.
>> the word should be used (u s e d) rather than use (u s e)
>>
>>  She would smile
>> brightly for me but the smile hardly ever reached her eye.
>> Do you mean eyes?   Or no, I guess she only has one, but the expression
>> around the eyes has to do with facial muscles.   In fact, expressions are
>> more
>> easily seen around the mouth.
>>
>> Today she seemed more anxious then usual. Something was definitely
>> bothering her.
>> The word is than (t h a n)
>>
>> I note you consistently leave out the punctuation at the end of the 
>> quotes.
>>   I've read a lot of books written in Brittain, and that isn't something
>> done.   I know I said I wouldn't mention it again, but I'm just wondering
>> why
>> you do it that way.
>> Lori
>>
>> In a message dated 9/7/09 3:43:29 PM, dreamavdb at googlemail.com writes:
>>
>>
>>> Liza got me out
>>> of bed at about four am every morning
>>>
>>
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>
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