[stylist] DBG (chapter 5)
Judith Bron
jbron at optonline.net
Thu Sep 10 02:31:02 UTC 2009
JC, I hope your wife has a speedy recovery. Best wishes, Judith
----- Original Message -----
From: "James Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 10:21 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG (chapter 5)
> well,
> Helene, in my case it wasn't because of that bit of the dragon and Liza's
> sex.
>
> my wife went into the hospital today, the fourth time this summer. this
> time is very serious. I've been a bit more busy today and yesterday.
> I do know that sometimes a character needs to engage in disgusting or
> filthy acts. if you're writing about a sexual preditor, you're going to
> include some very intense and upsetting scenes.
> if you're writing about an abusive parent, there's going to be violence.
>
> yes, I found that very disgusting. but you're talking about Liza being
> rejected by her own society, in part because of her association with the
> dragon.
> jc
> Jim Canaday M.A.
> Lawrence, KS
>
> At 08:45 PM 9/9/2009, you wrote:
>>I wondered why nobody was commenting on the chapter.
>>
>>Helene
>>
>>On 10/09/2009, helene ryles <dreamavdb at googlemail.com> wrote:
>> > No I don't want this to be about sexual interaction at all. I just
>> > didn't realise it would be considered in that light. So I'll delete it
>> > now.
>> >
>> > Helene
>> >
>> > On 10/09/2009, helene ryles <dreamavdb at googlemail.com> wrote:
>> >> I'll delete that bit then.
>> >> Helene.
>> >>
>> >> On 10/09/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
>> >>> Helene, If you want to make this a novel about sexual interaction, do
>> >>> it
>> >>> in
>> >>> a conventional manner. A dragon licking her when she has her period?
>> >>> Yuck!
>> >>> This is not sexual, just gross. Judith
>> >>> ----- Original Message -----
>> >>> From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
>> >>> To: "A private list for authors" <DB-AUTHORS at tr.wou.edu>; "Writer's
>> >>> Division
>> >>> Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> >>> Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 6:56 PM
>> >>> Subject: [stylist] DBG (chapter 5)
>> >>>
>> >>>
>> >>> Chapter 5
>> >>> The sad fate of Liza Bronze by Shania Krum (Liza's deaf Nanny)
>> >>>
>> >>> It was late when the lights started flickering on and off. I went
>> >>> to the door to find Liza Bronze. She was sitting on my doorstep with
>> >>> her head in her hands.
>> >>> I tapped her gently on the shoulder.
>> >>> "What's the matter Liza?" I signed. I wasn't sure she could see me
>> >>> through her tears so I repeated my request using tactile sign
>> >>> language.
>> >>> Liza just shook her head and carried on crying.
>> >>> Its several years since I last saw Liza Bronze. The problem is that
>> >>> people in Nazdonia hate Dragons. The dragons come here sometimes,
>> >>> and
>> >>> sit perch on our roofs, watching us closely. Ever so often a Dragon
>> >>> will dive down and snatch one of our villagers. Usually they just
>> >>> examine us closely before putting us down again, but some dragons
>> >>> have
>> >>> been known to remove a villager's legs first. As if to add insult
>> >>> to injury, the offending dragon stuffs the villager's pockets with
>> >>> Darthrilan currency. They seemed to think that would make it all
>> >>> okay.
>> >>> We tried telling Liza about this, but she won't believe us. On her
>> >>> last visit my son expressed a desire to join a dragon slaying team.
>> >>> Liza got up and started swearing at him. When I told her not to use
>> >>> such rude signs around the children she turned and left the house.
>> >>>
>> >>>
>> >>> *** *** ***
>> >>>
>> >>> I know a lot about Liza Bronze. I was her wet nurse. I can always
>> >>> remember her dragon Talmon Bronze's first meeting. I had just put my
>> >>> own baby to bed and was taking down my laundry, when this dragon
>> >>> swooped down. I was so shocked that I dropped my laundry basket. I
>> >>> was about to flee for my cottage when the dragon 'spoke' to me.
>> >>> I suddenly visualized a tiny silver-skinned baby in my mind. I
>> >>> visualised money and then a question mark. Those images clearly
>> >>> didn't belong to me. I know, god alone knows how, that the dragon
>> >>> was
>> >>> communicating with me. He was offering me both the baby and the
>> >>> money. Such strangeness made me nervous. What did the dragon want?
>> >>> The images came again, more persistently this time. I visualized
>> >>> myself nursing this baby. Then I visualised money again. Surely the
>> >>> dragon wasn't offering me a job? Or was he? The notion was just too
>> >>> far fetched to take in.
>> >>> The dragon nodded.
>> >>> I kept visualising the money. There was a question mark again. Was
>> >>> he asking me how much I wanted?
>> >>> "A bag of gold every night on the full moon will do" I replied
>> >>> sarcastically. I wondered why this big scaly brute was toying with
>> >>> me
>> >>> like this for. Why didn't he just hurry up and eat me if that's
>> >>> what
>> >>> he wanted.
>> >>> I visualised some pure gold nuggets followed by the common nine
>> >>> carrot
>> >>> gold; Then a query.
>> >>> "I would prefer to be paid in goln. That's the name of our currency
>> >>> here in Nazdonia. I'll do it for 500 goln a month, and no it doesn't
>> >>> really have to be handed in on the full moon. Any other day will do
>> >>> just fine"
>> >>> Next I visualised the dragon swooping down with the baby. I moved
>> >>> quickly out of the way.
>> >>> I looked round from behind a boulder. The dragon swooped down just
>> >>> as
>> >>> he told me he would. He deposited a basket on the ground. Then he
>> >>> flew into the air and was gone. I waited a while after that. Partly
>> >>> because my legs were shaking so much, but also in case the Dragon was
>> >>> hanging about, waiting to pounce on me.
>> >>> In the end my curiosity overcame my fear. I darted forward, grabbing
>> >>> the basket, and fled back to my cottage, my laundry basket forgotten
>> >>> about. I suspected that the dragon maybe lurking, somewhere out of
>> >>> sight.
>> >>> The grey skinned infant was only a few weeks old. She was wearing a
>> >>> pair of Aphakic glasses which were attached to her head with an
>> >>> elastic cord. I could feel from her throat that she was screaming
>> >>> her
>> >>> little lungs out so I unbuttoned my dress and fed her with my own
>> >>> breast milk. Fortunately I still had some milk left over from my
>> >>> first born son who had just been weaned.
>> >>> This was my very first meeting with Liza Bronze.
>> >>>
>> >>> *** *** ***
>> >>>
>> >>> So now Liza was back again, in a lot of distress.
>> >>> "Come inside. I will make you some tea," I signed.
>> >>> "She wants me to put Nadia in danger! She wants me to send her to
>> >>> school, where her mother can come and collect her," Liza signed.
>> >>> "Who's she?" I asked. I had some idea who Liza meant, but I just
>> >>> wanted to be sure.
>> >>> "Beria. She's been threatening me with the truancy officer. She
>> >>> says
>> >>> that Nadia needed the company of other children. I gave her a dog.
>> >>> That should be enough company for her. Children are cruel you know.
>> >>> I never benefited from being with other children..."
>> >>> "That's not true. You had lots of friends before Beria took you from
>> >>> us. Yes, maybe your sight did get in the way sometimes. People
>> >>> needed
>> >>> to sign close to you, instead of at the usual range. Why can't
>> >>> Nadia
>> >>> come here?"
>> >>> "Everyone is so anti-dragon round here. Besides which, I don't want
>> >>> her so far away from me. I'd worry too much"
>> >>> "So what do you want then?"
>> >>> "I want Beria and Madrella to drop dead!"
>> >>> I sighed. Liza can be incredibly childish for a fully grown woman.
>> >>>
>> >>>
>> >>> *** *** ****
>> >>>
>> >>>
>> >>> I can still remember the day that Beria and her bunch of female
>> >>> thugs
>> >>> blasted our door down and dragged Liza from our care. She was only
>> >>> eight at the time. I'd been teaching her how to read and write and
>> >>> she was ever such a bright little girl. She got on really well with
>> >>> my sons too. She should have stayed with us. After all she really
>> >>> needs to be in the company of other Deaf humans. Not some oversexed
>> >>> dragon and a bunch of audist busy bodies. Between that lot Liza got
>> >>> really screwed up.
>> >>> Beria's one of those Audist types that look down on our language and
>> >>> all deaf that use it. I could sense that from the beginning. She
>> >>> really didn't approve of the Dragon's choice of Nannies.
>> >>> It makes me wonder who's running whom.
>> >>> Liza's aunt's Arielle and Beria came regularly at one stage. We
>> >>> didn't mind Arielle's visits since she can sign and she often
>> >>> commented on how well Liza was doing. Beria's visits were another
>> >>> matter altogether. She just came to ensure that Liza Bronze used
>> >>> her hearing aids. She also insisted that Liza get to meet her
>> >>> parents.
>> >>> I hated Liza's father even before I knew about the way he had sold
>> >>> his
>> >>> child to the dragons. What kind of parent does a thing like that?
>> >>> He's even more of an Audist then Beria. He has this poor deafblind
>> >>> wife whom he forces to lip-read by a method known as Tadoma. I could
>> >>> tell she found communication a major struggle. She was the saddest
>> >>> creature I ever met.
>> >>> I didn't pity her because of her deafblindness. We have blind and
>> >>> deafblind people here at Nassoli too. They are sad at first, but
>> >>> they get used to it eventually. I'm sure Liza's mother Mona would
>> >>> have adapted too but her husband wouldn't let her. He resisted any
>> >>> attempts to send anyone round to teach her any blind skills, even
>> >>> when
>> >>> his own family tried to help.
>> >>> Arielle and I decided the kindest thing anyone could do with Mona
>> >>> was
>> >>> to rescue her. We didn't expect to keep her with us indefinitely,
>> >>> but
>> >>> she needed to learn how to adapt to her deafblindness. It was
>> >>> especially important for Mona to learn how to communicate in sign
>> >>> language since Mona had another deafblind daughter called Monika.
>> >>> Snyder runs a business selling enchanted prosthetic legs. So we sent
>> >>> an amputee round to ask about the sale of prosthetic legs. Of course
>> >>> he wasn't really interested. Snyder's legs are well above his price
>> >>> range. While he was busy talking to him, I slipped in with a fader
>> >>> that Liza's aunt Arielle had hired for me. They are useful little
>> >>> folks when you want to become invisible, even though a lot of them
>> >>> end
>> >>> up going mad. After experiencing invisibility it's understandable.
>> >>> We kept Mona, Monika and Liza together for just over a week. We were
>> >>> teaching them tactile sign language first. That had to be a priority
>> >>> since Monika was severely delayed. She was eleven years old without
>> >>> any language skills at all. We were hoping to move on to braille
>> >>> and
>> >>> mobility skills after that.
>> >>> Snyder called the police on us. Not only did they take Mona and
>> >>> Monika from us but they took Liza as well.
>> >>>
>> >>> *** *** ***
>> >>>
>> >>> Five years later Arielle brought Liza back to us.
>> >>> We were overjoyed to see her again and Liza seemed really happy to be
>> >>> with us too. I could tell she appreciated being signed to, instead
>> >>> of being spoken to and expected to lip read all the time.
>> >>> Unfortunately she had already fallen behind. Her signed vocabulary
>> >>> was that of younger child since she had nobody to practice NSL with,
>> >>> except her aunt Arielle, who stopped seeing Liza regularly, after her
>> >>> eldest son Pyre was born.
>> >>> Liza had a social awkwardness about her, of a child that is used to
>> >>> being on their own for most of the time. I would have made
>> >>> allowances, but you know what teenagers are like. Her old friends
>> >>> had
>> >>> grown apart and they didn't have much patience with her. Hearing
>> >>> aids
>> >>> were still very bulky things in those days and the other children
>> >>> made
>> >>> fun of Liza for wearing them. (We don't bother with hearing aids
>> >>> round
>> >>> these parts. Everyone here can sign, so we don't need them.)
>> >>> One girl tried to show her more tolerance, but she freaked out when
>> >>> Liza started talking about how much she loved her dragon, and what
>> >>> they did together. Liza told the girl that she never bothered
>> >>> wearing
>> >>> any clothes when she and Talmon were alone together. She liked it
>> >>> when Talmon licked her clean, especially when she was having a
>> >>> period.
>> >>> (I think it was that kind of talk that persuaded Arielle to bring
>> >>> Liza back to us in the first place).
>> >>> After the girl expressed her disgust, Liza reacted by thumped her and
>> >>> storming off into the desert. We had to send a search party out after
>> >>> her to no avail. Years later we were told that Beria had found her
>> >>> and taken her back to Talmon Bronze. We would have appreciated it if
>> >>> someone had told us that Liza was okay, as we were all beside
>> >>> ourselves with concern.
>> >>>
>> >>> Since then we've only seen Liza a few times for very brief visits.
>> >>> She grows stranger by the day. Saying anything in the least bit
>> >>> negative about Talmon often resulted in Liza storming off in a Tizzy.
>> >>> I can't stop the villagers from speaking their minds on this matter.
>> >>> Liza doesn't like this so she rarely ever comes.
>> >>> I worry a lot about Liza, being in a foreign country with all those
>> >>> dragons. She seems to have been shut out on the other side of the
>> >>> fence with nothing to replace us with, except some large scaly beast.
>> >>>
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