[stylist] Revised part of chapter 5

[Judith Bron]

You get the message across with a hug, a passionate glance or pat on some 
part of her body.  Try reading with braille or listening to a love story. 
Yes, the characters often end up in the hay, but their gestures towards each 
other are what you are looking for.  Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Wednesday, September 09, 2009 11:19 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Revised part of chapter 5


> Jim: I want to drop hints that something rather unwholesome is taking
> place, but I don't want to go into any details on this subject.
>
> Helene
>
> On 10/09/2009, James Canaday M.A.  N6YR <n6yr at sunflower.com> wrote:
>> Helene,
>> "what they did together" and "how much she loved her dragon" is very
>> vague.  it leaves room for a nonsexual interpretation, that may be
>> just fine for your plot anyway.
>> jc
>> Jim Canaday M.A.
>> Lawrence, KS
>>
>> At 08:54 PM 9/9/2009, you wrote:
>>>I've now deleted the part in chapter 5 that I think offended people
>>>(Judith anyway) so now the paragraph just reads:
>>>
>>>"One girl tried to show her more tolerance, but she freaked out when
>>>Liza started talking about how much she loved her dragon, and what
>>>they did together.    (I think it was that kind of talk that persuaded
>>>Arielle to bring Liza back to us in the first place)."
>>>
>>>I hope that's better and people carry on wanting to read it.
>>>
>>>Helene
>>>
>>>_______________________________________________
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>>><http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
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>>
>>
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