[stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence

Thu Sep 17 00:51:22 UTC 2009

Judith: I don't know about the stastistics but I do have personal
experience and know of several other women this has happened to who
have stayed with their husbands after it started.
I have read of battered men, but haven't met any personally. Just
woman battered by men and women battered by other women in same sex
relationships.

Helene

On 17/09/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
> Statistics are just numbers.  However, when trying to rationalize situations
> the numbers always backup one side of the argument or another.  Judith
> ----- Original Message -----
> From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 7:36 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence
>
>
>> In my case there were scenes in our house but in this case the saying
>> 'it takes two to tango' went since neither my parents were both at it.
>> I don't consider them abusive as such. Not physically abusive although
>> they  did throw tantrums around us and break things. So it was a good
>> thing when they got seperated.
>> The experience I had as an adult was differant though. It was
>> physically as well as verbally abusive. It took my money but wouldn't
>> accept who I was.
>>
>> Helene
>>
>> On 17/09/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
>>> Statisticly sons who grow up in a home where the father is an abuser, the
>>> son has a better chance of being an abuser also.  The same goes for a
>>> girl
>>> in a home where the mother is being abused.  She will probably marry a
>>> man
>>> who will abuse her.  The stats also show that the abused woman will go
>>> back
>>> over and over to the man who is abusing her.  If the man is brought up on
>>> criminal charges for his abuse, the woman will most often defend his
>>> actions
>>> in a court of law.  You are right.  It defies logic.  Judith
>>> ----- Original Message -----
>>> From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
>>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 6:28 PM
>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence
>>>
>>>
>>>> Barbara: Thanks for your comments.
>>>> Mr Murat is weak.
>>>> He is also in love with this woman despite her nature. You would be
>>>> amazed by things people over look when they are in love with someone.
>>>> I've been through that sort of thing myself so I know first hand the
>>>> kind of things one will do when one is in love with someone. Even
>>>> after that person hurts me. Love is illogical and doesn't have any
>>>> sense.
>>>> I did meet a certain person who I was in love with. I also took drugs
>>>> at the time which did have an affect of weakening thing my character.
>>>> I'm a lot stronger now, but I've not been out with anyone else since
>>>> then.
>>>> I actually had a pillow stuffed over my head and I couldn't breathe. I
>>>> felt my life was in danger. The social worker got involved but I ended
>>>> up denying everything. I told them nothing had really happened (which
>>>> wasnt true). That has to be one of the dumbest things I ever did in my
>>>> life since it made it harder when I eventually decided to leave.
>>>> That was a few months after getting my second guide dog. I spent 3
>>>> weeks at guide dog training centre. Those 3 weeks were a great help to
>>>> me. When I went back I was differant so I eventually left and made
>>>> myself intentionally homeless since I still didn't want to talk about
>>>> what happened there.
>>>>
>>>> I didn't leave because of what they were doing to me, but they Jilli
>>>> was being drawn in too. Their dog was attacking her and she had to
>>>> watch me being attacked too. If it wasn't for Jilli I think I would
>>>> have stayed longer.
>>>>
>>>> Helene
>>>> Helene
>>>>
>>>> On 16/09/2009, Barbara Hammel <poetlori8 at msn.com> wrote:
>>>>> What if he was an exceedingly weak person who had no resources if his
>>>>> current situation were to change?
>>>>> Maybe he knows the truth but is more scared of her than the
>>>>> consequences
>>>>> of
>>>>> what she does?
>>>>> I also thought Liza was angered too quckly.
>>>>> Barbara
>>>>>
>>>>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of
>>>>> whom
>>>>> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>>>>>
>>>>> --------------------------------------------------
>>>>> From: <LoriStay at aol.com>
>>>>> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 10:01 AM
>>>>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 (completely new chapter)
>>>>>
>>>>>> David, a social worker, says no one is in denial that long, and after
>>>>>> he
>>>>>> realized the truth, he wouldn't go back to denial.
>>>>>> Lori
>>>>>> In a message dated 9/15/09 6:31:05 PM, dreamavdb at googlemail.com
>>>>>> writes:
>>>>>>
>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Why does it take the husband four children to realize what a monster
>>>>>>> he
>>>>>>> married?
>>>>>>> He is in denial. He loves this woman even though he must have
>>>>>>> realised
>>>>>>> what she's like.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>
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>>>>>
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