[stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence

Thu Sep 17 05:36:46 UTC 2009

Helene,
yes you do know of a battered man.  me.
my first wife, 8 year marriage, 7 of which was violence and 
threats.  she was insanely (I mean delusionally) jealous and  was violent.
I stayed that long tried to make it work because as a christian, 
marriage is very important and divorce is not easily contemplated.
I could've beaten the crap out of her, she was sighted by the 
way.  but I hated the thought of being so violent.  once I did 
respond  to her violence with violence and it was deeply troubling to me.
she also used common stereotypes to hide her violence.
jc
Jim Canaday M.A.
Lawrence, KS

At 07:51 PM 9/16/2009, you wrote:
>Judith: I don't know about the stastistics but I do have personal
>experience and know of several other women this has happened to who
>have stayed with their husbands after it started.
>I have read of battered men, but haven't met any personally. Just
>woman battered by men and women battered by other women in same sex
>relationships.
>
>Helene
>
>On 17/09/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
> > Statistics are just numbers.  However, when trying to rationalize 
> situations
> > the numbers always backup one side of the argument or another.  Judith
> > ----- Original Message -----
> > From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
> > To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> > Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 7:36 PM
> > Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence
> >
> >
> >> In my case there were scenes in our house but in this case the saying
> >> 'it takes two to tango' went since neither my parents were both at it.
> >> I don't consider them abusive as such. Not physically abusive although
> >> they  did throw tantrums around us and break things. So it was a good
> >> thing when they got seperated.
> >> The experience I had as an adult was differant though. It was
> >> physically as well as verbally abusive. It took my money but wouldn't
> >> accept who I was.
> >>
> >> Helene
> >>
> >> On 17/09/2009, Judith Bron <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
> >>> Statisticly sons who grow up in a home where the father is an abuser, the
> >>> son has a better chance of being an abuser also.  The same goes for a
> >>> girl
> >>> in a home where the mother is being abused.  She will probably marry a
> >>> man
> >>> who will abuse her.  The stats also show that the abused woman will go
> >>> back
> >>> over and over to the man who is abusing her.  If the man is brought up on
> >>> criminal charges for his abuse, the woman will most often defend his
> >>> actions
> >>> in a court of law.  You are right.  It defies logic.  Judith
> >>> ----- Original Message -----
> >>> From: "helene ryles" <dreamavdb at googlemail.com>
> >>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >>> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 6:28 PM
> >>> Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 and domestic violence
> >>>
> >>>
> >>>> Barbara: Thanks for your comments.
> >>>> Mr Murat is weak.
> >>>> He is also in love with this woman despite her nature. You would be
> >>>> amazed by things people over look when they are in love with someone.
> >>>> I've been through that sort of thing myself so I know first hand the
> >>>> kind of things one will do when one is in love with someone. Even
> >>>> after that person hurts me. Love is illogical and doesn't have any
> >>>> sense.
> >>>> I did meet a certain person who I was in love with. I also took drugs
> >>>> at the time which did have an affect of weakening thing my character.
> >>>> I'm a lot stronger now, but I've not been out with anyone else since
> >>>> then.
> >>>> I actually had a pillow stuffed over my head and I couldn't breathe. I
> >>>> felt my life was in danger. The social worker got involved but I ended
> >>>> up denying everything. I told them nothing had really happened (which
> >>>> wasnt true). That has to be one of the dumbest things I ever did in my
> >>>> life since it made it harder when I eventually decided to leave.
> >>>> That was a few months after getting my second guide dog. I spent 3
> >>>> weeks at guide dog training centre. Those 3 weeks were a great help to
> >>>> me. When I went back I was differant so I eventually left and made
> >>>> myself intentionally homeless since I still didn't want to talk about
> >>>> what happened there.
> >>>>
> >>>> I didn't leave because of what they were doing to me, but they Jilli
> >>>> was being drawn in too. Their dog was attacking her and she had to
> >>>> watch me being attacked too. If it wasn't for Jilli I think I would
> >>>> have stayed longer.
> >>>>
> >>>> Helene
> >>>> Helene
> >>>>
> >>>> On 16/09/2009, Barbara Hammel <poetlori8 at msn.com> wrote:
> >>>>> What if he was an exceedingly weak person who had no resources if his
> >>>>> current situation were to change?
> >>>>> Maybe he knows the truth but is more scared of her than the
> >>>>> consequences
> >>>>> of
> >>>>> what she does?
> >>>>> I also thought Liza was angered too quckly.
> >>>>> Barbara
> >>>>>
> >>>>> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of
> >>>>> whom
> >>>>> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> --------------------------------------------------
> >>>>> From: <LoriStay at aol.com>
> >>>>> Sent: Wednesday, September 16, 2009 10:01 AM
> >>>>> To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> >>>>> Subject: Re: [stylist] DBG 7 (completely new chapter)
> >>>>>
> >>>>>> David, a social worker, says no one is in denial that long, and after
> >>>>>> he
> >>>>>> realized the truth, he wouldn't go back to denial.
> >>>>>> Lori
> >>>>>> In a message dated 9/15/09 6:31:05 PM, dreamavdb at googlemail.com
> >>>>>> writes:
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Why does it take the husband four children to realize what a monster
> >>>>>>> he
> >>>>>>> married?
> >>>>>>> He is in denial. He loves this woman even though he must have
> >>>>>>> realised
> >>>>>>> what she's like.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> _______________________________________________
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> >>
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> >
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