[stylist] DBG 9: The son my mother wanted.

helene ryles dreamavdb at googlemail.com
Sun Sep 20 19:27:39 UTC 2009


Chapter 9: The son my mother wanted by Nadia Murat.

Beria’s rickshaw landed in the playing field.  In the same spot that
it had landed the previous year.   Everything was the same, except
there weren’t any boys hanging around this year.
“Go to your classes.  You don’t need a bodyguard.  Your aunt is just
being very silly,” Beria ordered.
I faltered.  Wondering whether I should go home or not.  I was making
my way to the school gates when I saw an angry grey-skinned woman
approach me.  I remembered the long curly black hair and piercing
yellow eyes from last year.  She was even wearing the same top with
the fur collar; and the same tight leather skirt. She looked even
taller tottering on the black leather boots that she wore.  Mother
simply marched up to me in a blazing fury.
When I tried to run I found myself rooted to the spot. I was just
standing there when her pink immaculate nails dug into my flesh.   She
grabbed my arm in a painfully tight grip, dragging me out of the
school gates.
I wanted to scream for help but no sound would come out.
Mother dragged me behind some spiky bushes.  She roughly pulled off my
neon pink and black dress, and dressed me in a plain shirt and
trousers, that boys usually wore.
I was feeling very afraid of this angry woman.  Since I could not move
a muscle, there was nothing I could do to stop her, or attempt an
escape.
She next pulled out a pair of scissors and began to cut off most of my
lovely long curly hair.  I felt bereft without it.  It felt as if she
was cutting off part of my identity along with my hair.
"Keep away from my sister Liza. She's a crazy dangerous woman.   She
only wants to fatten you up so her dragon can eat you.  All Darthrilan
police officers are like that," Mother told me, screaming into my
speech processor.
This was auditory torture for me.
Since I was unable to move there was no way I could turn down the
volume.  The spell that bound me meant I couldn’t even scream for
help.
"You are Nadir Murat.  You are a boy.  Let nobody see your body.   If
people discover you are a girl, they will hurt you.    Remember that.
It's a shame they won't do a sex change on anyone under eighteen."

                     ***     ***    ***

I can’t remember the name of the town my mother lived in.  She took me
to another school where the children spoke but didn't sign.  They were
all bigger then me.  A pale-skinned woman looked rather dubiously at
my hearing devices and Aphakic glasses.  She took up some chalk and
wrote on the blackboard for me.
"Can you read?"
"Yes," I wrote back.
"Can you hear anything at all?"
"Yes, but only when it's very quiet."
"How much can you see?"
"I see most things as long as the lighting is ok. Not too bright but
not completely dark either," I explained.  The teacher showed me some
picture books and wanted to know if I could read the print in them.  I
nodded.
The teacher put me in the front row where I watched her speaking and
then wrote on the black board, especially for me.
I found the other children hard to talk to because of all the noise.
None of them knew any sign language at all.  So I had a chat with the
teacher instead.  I remember how lonely I felt.  How I missed my deaf
friends from Druzil.
When mother came for me that afternoon, the teacher spoke to her.  My
mother looked very angry.  They exchanged heated words.   The teacher
looked shocked by what mother was saying.
Mother grabbed me by the arm and yanked me out of the school.  We
crossed a road which was crowded with numerous rickshaws and bicycles.
 Then I was taken to a block of flats, where we climbed the ladder up
to the fourth floor.  I shook so badly that I was very slow at
climbing.
"You look enough of a freak as it is without you waving your hands
about in that absurd way.  Why oh why do I keep giving birth to so
many freaks?  It must be from your fathers’ side of the family.
"Now you are not to use any more of that freakish signing.  We paid so
much money to cure you of your deafness.  The least you can do is stop
acting deaf so people like that teacher don’t ask nosy questions,
thinking you need extra help.  I'm not having that."
"I am deaf," I protested.
“No! We sacrifices so much to make you hear again! How dare you act so
ungratefully! How dare you contradict me! I want you to act like a
normal hearing boy! Not a cursing freak,” Mother stormed.
Mother held me down and beat me with a leather strap.
After she finished, I just lay there on the cold concrete floor.  My
body ached, my throat felt dry, and my stomach rumbled.  I had not
been given anything to eat or drink that night at all.   I dare not
move a muscle in case it evoked mother’s wrath.
By the following morning my discomfort was increased by my soiled
clothes and strong stench of urine.  I must have wet myself during the
night.

Mother enrolled me into a different school the following day.  The
teacher at this school looked me up and down with a frown on her face.
 She did not try to communicate with me on the black board.  I
remember feeling very hungry and thirsty.
When the other children started pulling out their lunches I stared
pointedly at them in the way I’d seen my dog Bella do.  When that
didn‘t work I snatched a bottle of water out of the hands of one girl,
and began to drink from it in long thirsty gulps, until it was all
gone.  The girl glared at me as she snatched her empty bottle back.
The teacher spoke to mother at the end of the day.   What the teacher
told mother made her very angry.  I was beaten again as soon as I got
back home from school.


                    ***     ***    ***

A few days later mother introduced me to a small timid man in a long
white shirt and matching loose trousers.  He was grey-skinned like
mother and I.  He had a wooden leg.
"Nadir, this is your father, Maram Murat.  He is a travelling sales
man," Mother informed me.  I felt awkward.  I could not remember
anything about this man at all.
"You are meant to say ‘Hello Papa’," Mother told me, slapping me
across the face.
"Hello Papa," I replied obediently.
"Don't Madrella.  The child won't remember me, obviously."
"Nonsense Maram, Corporal Punishment is good for children.  Otherwise
they get spoilt rotten.  Why don't you show him your leg?”
My father pulled off his wooden leg and showed it to me.
"Your father made a lot of sacrifices, so you could hear.  Your father
had to amputate his own leg and sell it to a dragon.  Even after that
great sacrifice he still fell heavily into dept.   You must stop
switching off your hearing.  It's very ungrateful after all the
sacrifices that have been made for you..."
"I don't mind if he doesn't want to use it all the time," my father
contradicted.
"Well I do.  You have no idea how to bring up children correctly.
They need a firm hand."
"It was my leg, so I can say if I don't mind him turning his ears off.
 I wish I could turn my ears off too.  Especially when you shout at me
like this," Father retorted sullenly.


                 ***  *** ***

“Why can’t you give my poor child a break,” my father intervened,
after one of mother’s numerous beatings.
“I’ll break his neck if he carries on behaving like this.  Do you
realise how many different schools he‘s been to now, and he still
keeps acting deaf,” mother stormed.
“Well he does seem to have problems with his sight and hearing.
Surely you must have noticed? Remember what the audiologist told me…”
my father timidly replied.
“Curse the audiologist! The great science demon cured him of his
deafness and blindness altogether.  He’s just putting on an act.  I’m
going to beat it out of him though, one way or another.”
  My parents spent a lot of time arguing about me.   I grew to
associate my cochlear implant with the sound of quarrelling voices and
slamming doors.  I heard several yowls of pain from father, whenever
mother got particularly violent with him.  In fact she used as much
corporal punishment with him, as she did with me.
During their domestic disputes I would hid in my room or under the
table.  I would turn my hearing devices off, as often as I could get
away with.  I’d even taken to removing the batteries so they wouldn't
know that it wasn't actually on.  This worked well until mother
figured out what I was up to.  She forced me to listen to a series of
unpleasantly loud noises.
My parents’ last argument was the worse.   I could remember it vividly.
“I’m afraid I’ve got to leave you again Madrella.  There is a wedding
in North Nazdonia…”
“You and your cursing weddings.   How dare you leave me with this brat
of yours?”
“Nadir can come along too if he likes…”
“Oh he can, can he.  Why can’t I come?  Or are you getting it off with
another woman behind my back.”
“No, of course not…” my father replied in injured tones.
“Well I am! The triplets aren’t really yours and neither was Maya.
Only that miserable little Duman is yours."
My father got up and left. I heard several doors slam as he departed
from the flat.  My mother yelled a stream of profanities at his
departing back.
I felt very hurt that father had not taken me with him.  What would
become of me now?


                   ***  *** ***


A few weeks after father left, a couple of grey-skinned police
officers came to visit mother.  I recognised one as Beria Slyrake.   I
didn't recognise the other officer.  They had a brochure with them
from the 'hearing impaired unit' at the National Implant Research
Centre (NIRC).  For once mother was being very agreeable.
"Oh, but Nadir doesn't really need special education at all.  I really
want Nadir in mainstream school.  Nadir doesn't belong at a special
school.  Thanks to the great science demon my son was cured of both
deafness and blindness..." my mother simpered.
"Unfortunately the great science demon won't cure your child
completely.  My parents enrolled me at NIRC which has a strict oral
only approach…” the other police officer replied.
“I remember you very well, Melissa Rickshaw.  After all I married your
brother.  I thought you went to the local high school.  In fact I
don’t think you had a hearing loss at all back then.”
  “Well I did, I was sent to NIRC at the age of eighteen months, up
until first grade when I was transferred to mainstream school.  I was
taught to listen.  I have much better use out of my residual hearing
thanks to the dedicated staff they have there.  If Nadia is placed at
NIRC up to fifth grade you can enrol her fully into mainstream school
after that.  Plus you will have got chance to get over your denial.
You see, whilst the cochlear implant is a truly remarkable device I'm
afraid your child is still hearing impaired," the other police officer
explained.  She introduced herself as PC Rickshaw.  She must be the
other hard of hearing police officer I guessed.  I remember my Aunt
Liza telling me about her.  Liza told me that she had become hard of
hearing later in life and had very audist views.  She and Liza did not
get along at all.
"So there won’t be any of that signing nonsense that the other school
subjected him to.  I don't like him mixing with children like that."
"Of course not, Signing is only for deaf with lower abilities," PC
Rickshaw agreed.  She had obviously never met my twin sisters who
could write and sign in more then one language.
"Like my other children then.  I gave birth to triplets. One was very
sickly and died soon after birth. The other two were mentally deranged
so I had to send them away. My sister Liza is also a little mad.  I
thought it would be a good idea to keep the three fruitcakes together,
away from normal people.   I never thought Liza would kidnap my son.
At first I let him stay there.  I thought it would be good to make
poor Liza feel more involved.   However I made a big mistake to let
them stay together for so long.   I had no idea she would make the
poor child share a room with her mentally deranged sisters.  My poor
son was absolutely covered in bruises when I first got him back..."
"We were going to ask about the bruises. There have been some
complaints about that too..."
"Quite understandable,   I'm afraid they’ve got the wrong end of a
stick.  Speaking from one witch to another, I'm sure you realise how
easily these signs can be misinterpreted by lesser beings."
I tried to speak at that point in order to correct all the lies that
mother was telling,   but I found myself unable to do so.
"We understand,” said P.C Rickshaw smoothly, “All the same,   I would
strongly advise you to consider NIRC as the best placement for your
child.  In fact I believe you’ve gone through all the local elementary
schools in the area.  There have been many complaints about Nadia not
responding in class, and Nadia stealing food and water from the other
children.  I’m afraid they don’t think they can manage a child like
Nadia at all.”
“I would rather she stayed in Mainstream.  I can always move to another area.”
“Oh I wouldn’t advise you to do that, since the police in any other
area would be working under a different supervisor, who would not
understand your personal circumstances,” Beria put in.
“If it was left to me your personal circumstances would count as
nothing, but I‘m under P.C. Slyrake, so I have to toe the line. Move
from the area and I would send your file with all the recent
complaints marked on it, to the main police stations, in all the
surrounding area‘s.  You would be arrested in no time…” P.C. Rickshaw
threatened.
“That will do, Melissa,” Beria interrupted before turning back to
mother, “Nadia will be residential at NIRC.   At least while you get
over your denial about her unfortunate limitations and her sex.  If
you comply with this request we will be quite happy for you to keep
her during vacations.   If we keep getting complaints about Nadia;
family ties won’t save you.  We will be forced to take further action
against you.   Good day to you, Madrella," and with that the police
left us.


                 ***  ***  ***

Mother roughly shook me awake the following morning.
 “Come along now, Nadir or we will miss the train,” my mother cried.
I couldn’t see anything in the darkness, but I was afraid to say so in
case it evoked yet another beating.
“Hurry up Nadir.  The train to Stilosarka leaves in just 20 minutes
time.  Really, you are quite impossible! I guess I’ll just have to
carry you. ”
With that mother picked me up and slung me over her shoulders.  We
only just managed to catch the train.
The train took fifteen minutes to get to Stilosarka.  I spent the
journey anxiously wondering where I was being taken to now.
 After disembarking from Stilosarka underground railway station, I had
to struggle up a ladder and along several busy streets.  I found it
almost impossible to keep up with mother.  I tripped over several
times as a result.
“Stop that infuriating snivelling, you repellent child.  Why can’t you
just look where you are going? The great science demon cured you of
your blindness.  We both know that.  Or are you just trying to play
for sympathy.  That nonsense doesn‘t work with me, I would have
thought you would have known that by now,” Mother yelled.
In the end we reached a high wire fence, which looked more like a
prison then a school.  My mother rang the bell impatiently.  After
several minutes a grey-skin woman in a blue tunic and matching
trousers answered.  She looked us up and down before ushering us in.
  I recall waiting next to an office.  Mother was arguing with another
woman about something.  This woman was very bony, in white overalls.
There were many drawings of happy looking, winged children, on the
whitewashed wall.  They were flying across various beautiful
landscapes.  There was also a poster with the words:  “How would you
like the gift of flight?”
There was a lot of other print but it was too far for me to see.  I
dare not go any closer without evoking my mother’s wrath.  After all
the beatings that had been inflicted on it, my body still felt very
sore.
 “I’m going now Nadir.   Remember what I told you.  Be a good boy and
don’t give the staff here any trouble,” she told me.  She gave me a
quick unwelcome hug.  She did this more to impress the waiting woman
in the white overalls, then because she cared about me.  Then she
turned and left me there.  I felt very relieved to see her go.
“Come along Nadir,” The woman said into my speech processor.  I‘ll
take you to the hearing impaired unit.”
I was led to a ladder which I had to climb up to get to several more
ladders, until we reached the eighth floor.  By that stage my legs
felt wobbly and I was gasping for air.  Despite being used to ladders,
the climb took me a while due to my sore limbs.
“Come along boy, we haven’t got all day,” the woman snapped before
escorting me to another whitewashed room.  There were several posters
on the walls.  One of them had a sad isolated child on it with the
words, “The tragedy of silence”.  I felt puzzled having spent the
previous year in the company of so many other signing deaf children
along with Zahira and Zaina.  None of them were sad like the girl in
the poster.
I was led to a room with several similarly aged children.  Now they
were more like the girl in the poster.   They all wore cochlear
implants and/or powerful hearing aids like me.
That day I spent many dreary hours having bossy women speak into my
speech processor with their mouths covered.  I kept telling them to
move their hands away from their mouths but they wouldn‘t.
“My Aunt Liza says it is rude to cover your mouth when you talk,” I told them.
I was sent to stand in the corner because of that.


             ***  ***  ***


A few months later my Aunt Liza marched into the room wearing her dark
red police uniform.  I rushed to hug her.  She ignored the protesting
members of staff and hugged me tightly.  She took me out of the room
and down the ladders towards Stilosarka underground railway station.
“Oh dear, you seem to have lost weight.  Would you like a veggie
burger?” My aunt signed.  She looked at me in some concern.
I nodded enthusiastically.  There was a small café on the platform,
which Liza took me to.  She looked particularly concerned when I even
wolfed down the accompanying salad.
“That’s enough now Nadia.  I don’t want you to be sick.  Besides, our
train to Druzil should be here any minute now,” Aunt Liza announced,
after my third veggie burger.
 I felt so happy to be travelling back home with Aunt Liza.
As we disembarked at Druzil railway station, I saw mother and a group
of police officers.  We stared at them in dismay.
“How dare you kidnap my child again,” Mother yelled.  Her face twisted
up with hatred.
“Murderer!” my aunt screamed back.
“Shut it or I’ll punch your other eye out!”
My aunt Liza swore at her.  There was an equally enraged look on her face.
They continued to shout and swear at each other.  At one point their
argument got so heated that they both had to be physically restrained
by the police officers there.
“I’m afraid this is going to have to be settled in court… You can’t
just take Nadia    like this…” Beria announced.
I found myself being bundled into Beria’s flying rickshaw by a blonde
pale skinned officer.
“NO! How dare you take my niece away like that?”
“What are you talking about you crazy Duman.  That’s my son Nadir Murat.”




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