[stylist] FLM Comments

[Shelley J. Alongi]

Do you mean the train hitting the person on the tracks? We don't cover it 
anymore in this book but it might come up again. I'll keep it in mind only 
because it does serve as the beginning of their relationship. The engineer 
who was killed in the Chatsworth accident had such an incident occur a week 
before he died and apparently he was really bothered by it; it shows up in 
his text messages and his brother talked abou it; this was all before the 
whole thing erupted about him text messaging while on duty. Anyway it was 
such a glimpse into someone's character I thought wow I had never thought of 
what someone might think that was involved in that; I don't have a lot of 
sympathy for people who deliberately walk in front of trains. Now no one 
remembers that he had such a bad reaction to it. Anyway, it was certainly 
something different to use in a story. Thanks for reading.
Shelley J. Alongi
Home Office: (714)869-3207
**
NFBWD "Slate and Style" editor
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org

**
To read essays on my journey through the Chatsworth train accident, 
Metrolink 111 or other interests click on 
http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=&author=AlongiSJ&alpha=A

updated September 13, 2009
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Barbara Hammel" <poetlori8 at msn.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 11:49 AM
Subject: Re: [stylist] FLM Comments


> Hey, is he ever going to need to talk in length about that incident?  If 
> so, make us cry.  I love a book that makes me cry.
> Barbara
>
> If wisdom's ways you wisely seek, five things observe with care:  of whom 
> you speak, to whom you speak, and how and when and where.
>
> --------------------------------------------------
> From: "Shelley J. Alongi" <qobells at roadrunner.com>
> Sent: Tuesday, September 22, 2009 1:05 AM
> To: "NFBnet Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: [stylist] FLM Comments
>
>> Thanks for all your input so far. I'm glad to see my writing is 
>> descriptive enough to make one hungry and keeps you turning the page. I 
>> appreciate all the comments. Judith I'm convinced you're my biggest fan. 
>> This story is the most conflicted story I've written and so I'm trying 
>> out lot of different techniques though it does carry my voice. Thanks for 
>> all your words and to Barbara's comments about train engineers being 
>> heartless if they don't regret hitting someone, no train engineer I've 
>> ever met and that has been few has ever been heartless. One told me it 
>> hurts to see people step out in front of a train. Another one wanted 
>> counselling. Keep sending comments if you can it helps me refine the 
>> craft.
>> Shelley J. Alongi
>> Home Office: (714)869-3207
>> **
>> NFBWD "Slate and Style" editor
>> http://www.nfb-writers-division.org
>>
>> **
>> To read essays on my journey through the Chatsworth train accident, 
>> Metrolink 111 or other interests click on 
>> http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=&author=AlongiSJ&alpha=A
>>
>> updated September 13, 2009
>> _______________________________________________
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>
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