[stylist] FLM Editing comments

[Shelley J. Alongi]

HI Lori and All, Your editing comments are always appreciated. If one wants to improve their craft they shouldn't be afraid to put their work out there. Sometimes people can point out things that get overlooked in the joy of creating. Or the agony of creating. I'm submitting all my chapters as they are to see what stands out to everyone. I'm always appreciative of a male perspective about my character, Glen, so if you have anything to chime in about it please dont' hesitate to put it out there. Glen improves throughout the book, by the time we reach the second book he's not so tearful. If there's a better way to express his distress I'm always up for that. Part of the story is about his distress so we have to have some kind of expression in the writing process. I like to show the contrast, however, so I want to leave some of it in there. I'm basing this super loosely on truth and I've known some pretty emotional men but I'm always up for suggestions on improvement. I'm glad you're all enjoying the story. It's my most conflicted writing ever. Thanks for all your input. 

I'm off to bed now I had a long productive day at chatsworth I'll update you later. Right now I have to get ready for the rest of my work week. Happy reading and writing. 
Shelley J. Alongi 
Home Office: (714)869-3207
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NFBWD "Slate and Style" editor 
http://www.nfb-writers-division.org

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To read essays on my journey through the Chatsworth train accident, Metrolink 111 or other interests click on http://www.storymania.com/cgibin/sm2/smshowauthorbox.cgi?page=&author=AlongiSJ&alpha=A

updated September 13, 2009