[stylist] a better use for tongues

[Chris Kuell]

Howdy, folks. I've been lurking for a while, and thought I'd post a 500 word 
essay I wrote last year on the benefits of blindness. For personal reasons, 
I wrote it under my pseudonym, Reid Fleming.

chris


The Ten Best Things About Being Blind

By Reid Fleming

I lost my eyesight ten years ago at the age of thirty-two. Along with my 
vision, I lost my fiancée, and my wiener dog Sledge went to that eternal 
farm when I was at my lowest. However, I'm happy to report there's a good 
side to blindness as well. In fact, I can rattle off ten great things about 
being blind easy as pie.

One.  The first best thing about being blind is NLS books. You can get 
thousands of books and magazines, on tape or in Braille, delivered to your 
home, returned at your leisure-for free. Is America great, or what?

Two. At airports, blind people can board early if they like, and I say-why 
not? You get a nice stewardess to show you to your seat before the crowds 
come, and there's no worrying about having room in the overhead bin. Plus, 
twice I've been bumped up to first class. Sweet.

Three. Related to travel is discount bus fares. I know, if we are ever to 
receive full acceptance, we have to pay equally. But, I'm what some might 
call frugal, and saving a buck makes me happy.

Four. Using Braille is like being in a selective club where we use a secret 
language. In other words, every kid's dream-come-true. I was at a meeting 
one time, and this blowhard was blabbering on while I used my Braille Lite 
to write-I wish this guy would just shut the hell up. Everybody probably 
thought-Oh, look at how interested Reid is, taking notes-what a great 
employee!

Five. Guide dogs are incredible animals, some of the best Dogs on the 
planet-and we can have them almost for free. Think about it-these highly 
trained helpers and companions and all you have to do is work, love, and 
take care of them.

  Six. Here's a fun thing. Next time you're at a party, pick someone out 
that you want to meet, and have a friend describe them in detail. Make your 
way over and join in on a conversation, and get to know the person a little. 
Ask how tall they are, or how old they are, and then say you've developed a 
mental picture of them, and describe them exactly. Freaks them out!

Seven. Blind people are not forced to look at all the ugliness in the world. 
There's undocumented amounts of garbage and graffiti and dog poop and 
suburban blight out there-and it's not pretty.

Eight. The flip side of that coin is that people all become better looking 
than they really are. When I'm talking to someone, I never imagine they have 
a boil on their neck, or really crooked teeth, or are having a really bad 
hair day-even though they might.

Nine. There's an old cliché-out of sight, out of mind, and it's true. What 
cobwebs?   What dust? There's nothing wrong with that wallpaper!

Ten. The final reason I like being a blind guy is because I get to hang 
around blind people. Before I went blind, the only other blind person I ever 
met was my second-cousin Zebediah, and the court agreement says I can't 
really talk about him. But I've met all kinds of blind people at NFB 
conventions-artists and lawyers and BEP operators and computer programmers 
and tattoo artists-and you realize there's nothing that can't be done. Just 
work up your courage and figure it out.