[stylist] opinions on my essay, included in this email

Pat Harmon pharmon222 at comcast.net
Mon Dec 27 17:12:07 UTC 2010 

Although blind individuals are often required to write autobiographical 
essays, they must discover a way to "individualize" more.  Too many essays 
begin to sound the same.  I suggest you draw in the audience with a lively, 
creative introduction.  Consider who you are.  What makes you come alive, 
and not jus as a blind woman.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Anita Adkins" <aadkins7 at verizon.net>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, December 24, 2010 3:04 PM
Subject: [stylist] opinions on my essay, included in this email


> Hello,
>
> The essay is below, and thanks in advance to all for taking a look.
>
> My name is Anita Adkins. I am a blind, nontraditional college student, 
> majoring in Elementary Education with a specialization in Language Arts. 
> However, my end goal is to work in the field of blindness.
> I will share with you my philosophy of blindness, which, in turn, will 
> result in my summarizing my history. While growing up in West Virginia, I 
> received an excellent academic experience at the West Virginia School for 
> the Blind.
> As a youngster, I did not receive adequate training in necessary blindness 
> skills. However, I possess a spirit of adventure, which enabled me to 
> learn many blindness skills through trial and error, though further 
> training would certainly benefit me as a blind adult. It was probably due 
> to this and the encouragement from the staff at WVSB, who taught me 
> Braille and introduced me to a cane,  that I developed a positive attitude 
> about my ability to succeed as a blind person. I believe that blindness 
> cannot keep me from my goals if I am motivated to reach them, and that I 
> can use alternative techniques to accomplish them.
> After graduating from high school, I briefly attended college, but I was 
> there for others and not myself. Like my sighted family, I wanted the 
> right and freedom to immediately walk down to the local grocery store or 
> nearest restaurant and obtain employment, a feat unattainable by me as a 
> blind person who was untrained and who was dealing with a society acting 
> out its negative view of blindness.
> Fortunately, in 2001, I obtained employment at T-base Communications, a 
> company that produced documents in multiple formats.  While there, I was 
> able to proofread Braille and to learn how to create WebPages in order for 
> me to test websites for accessibility and usability. Website testing also 
> forced me to become very familiar with assistive technology because it is 
> crucial to know whether it is the website that is inaccessible or the 
> inexperience of the user of the technology. I loved the job because I love 
> Braille and I love to learn, but I bumped up against the glass ceiling, so 
> I decided to apply at Blind Industries and Services of Maryland. I learned 
> how to sew at this company. In addition, I volunteered and then obtained 
> employment as a Rehabilitation teacher in their Rehabilitation Department 
> where I worked with seniors and other students who were blind, teaching 
> Braille, computer technology, cane travel, and independent living skills.
> A friend and colleague encouraged me to return to school to obtain a 
> degree because it would provide a larger income and a wider range of job 
> possibilities for me. I loved what I was doing, but I decided to take the 
> advice because it enabled me to take wise action toward a future career, 
> though I had not yet defined what exactly this career would entail.
> Education became my major because I was a teacher already and it seemed 
> the logical choice at the time. It was after much frustration and many 
> classes that I finally realized that I didn't want to simply teach; I want 
> to step into an employment position where I can make a positive impact in 
> the lives of the blind.
> As I work toward graduation, I educate the world around me by 
> incorporating the topic of blindness in my courses, whether it is teaching 
> Braille, talking to a group of future teachers about how technology can 
> improve the learning experience for students in the general education 
> classroom, or writing papers concerning educational placement for blind 
> students. In addition, I involve myself in the local Lion's Club and 
> attend local NFB meetings when opportunity permits.
> After obtaining my bachelor's degree, my future plans are to search for 
> meaningful employment in the field of blindness and to begin working 
> toward obtaining certification in vision as part of a master's program in 
> Special Education.
> As a child, I always wanted to be a teacher and a writer, and my degree 
> will open up many opportunities for me from teaching students, to 
> researching about blindness, to guiding blind students along a career 
> path, to serving in the blindness community by speaking about what the 
> blind can do and beyond.
>
> Anita
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Friday, December 24, 2010 2:35 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] opinions on my essay
>
>
>> Anita, I tried opening your attachment but my computer wouldn't do it. 
>> Can you copy and paste your essay below and I'll take a look at it 
>> Saturday night or Sunday?  Thanks, Judith
>> ----- Original Message ----- 
>> From: "Anita Adkins" <aadkins7 at verizon.net>
>> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>> Sent: Friday, December 24, 2010 2:11 PM
>> Subject: [stylist] opinions on my essay
>>
>>
>>> Hello Everyone.  I am considering applying for the NFB scholarship and 
>>> other scholarships for the coming fall semester. I needed to write an 
>>> essay that was 700 words or less for the one, and I am wondering if any 
>>> of you would mind taking a quick peak at what I have written to tell me 
>>> if it sounds okay?  It is attached as an Office 2007 document.  Thanks, 
>>> and Merry Christmas to all.  Anita
>>> Remember, Jesus Loves You.
>>> Anita Adkins
>>> 81 E. Mechanic ST
>>> APT 207
>>> Frostburg, MD 21532
>>> p: 301-689-5212
>>> c: 301-876-8669
>>> aadkins7 at verizon.net
>>>
>>
>>
>> --------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>>
>>
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>>
>>
>>
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>
>
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