[stylist] Story I just Wrote
loristay at aol.com
loristay at aol.com
Sun Jan 3 16:17:11 UTC 2010
Chelsea; An imaginative story, with just a few notes (see below). Do i
gather you think a professor would welcome being kidnapped to the middle of
the ocean so she could have a lab? And that a student would welcome just
giving up her career so she could have an observatory?
Lori
In a message dated 12/29/09 5:42:21 PM, astrochem119 at gmail.com writes:
> We both smiled one more time as she flittered out the door,
>
this should probably be flitted (f l i t t e d) rather than flittered (f l
i t t e r e d)
I had never had any children, yet the more I talked with this
young woman in my lab, t
Is this a change in point of view? I was a bit confused at first. you
might want to indicate that, either by a skipped line, or a couple of asterisks
on a separate line.
And now, it wouldn't happen.
But it had.
The meaning of this is not clear. She hadn't finished her astrophysics
course, so why say "But it had" ?
briefcase is one word, not two. And they are usually too small to put a
lot of clothing into.
Did the student lift the professor? Somewhere in the story you need to
mention that she is big, or muscular, or wiry from working out.
her hand
lightly grasped over a formula sheet.
I think you mean clasped, rather than grasped.
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