[stylist] Feedback request, General content: Minneapolis Bus

[BDM]

Neal,

Thanks again. I took your suggestions minus the "kid's" chatter as it is 
the chatter of the kids... as in ownership. I think that would be right if 
it's "Brad's article, Neal's evaluation", "kid's chatter"... is that right?

I changed the rest and added a  slight bit, not much. Thanks so much for 
clarifying the punctuation in the quotes thing, I never knew how that 
should have been, now I do. Also I found in my writing lately  there is 
much more flow if one uses "and" sparignly. I could probably do a better 
job here even, but it seems to propell the thought flow if one  rids them 
and changes them to something else as it causes more action.

If interested, I pasted it below with the suggested changes and a couple 
other minor bits . No need to comment just thought to show the changes... 
thanks again.

Having been diagnosed with a retinal disease some years back, I decided to 
counteract the traumatic trick life had played by taking a proactive 
approach. Before I lost usable vision, the ability to perform certain tasks 
without alternative techniques or adaptive technology, I sought out an 
adjustment to blindness training center in Minneapolis Minnesota. This 
training center is called Blindness Learning In New Dimensions or BLIND 
Inc. for short, and was affectionately, yet quite accurately, known as the 
"boot camp for blind folks."

Though apprehensions existed in what life would mean as a blind person, I 
looked forward to the challenge of learning skills that would enable me to 
live life successfully independent.

In order to graduate, a student is required to learn skills such as white 
cane travel, cooking for a large group of people, reading and writing 
Braille, use screen reader technology on the computer, and other daily life 
skills accomplished strictly under blind folds. Finally at the end of the 
training, each student is required to complete what is known as a five mile 
"Graduation Walk." While blindfolded students complete a travel and 
mobility course by following a list of Braille directions instructing them 
to cross noisy intersections, direct them to specific park locations, cross 
bridges, board certain buses and make their way back to the training 
center. Upon successful return, a freedom bell is rung in their honor and 
as if a congratulations button were pressed, peers and staff come 
applauding from classrooms with smiles, hand shakes, and pats on the back 
as they share victory over the test.

The day of my graduation walk turned out to be an unseasonably warm one, 
and about three quarters of the way into my five mile graduation course, my 
legs found great relief on the city transit portion of the test. On the 
surprisingly quiet bus with nothing else to do but listen to the engine 
roar and a buzzing fly next to me crashing its head into the window in 
efforts to escape, my attention was occasionally given to the entrance and 
exit of passengers at the stops.

At one particular stop, my ear picked up on a huge group of young 
elementary kids overtaking the bus, encompassing every available seat, 
leaving the teachers and a few chivalrous passengers standing while they 
held tight to the grab bars. Excited conversation assured me the kids were 
on an early morning field trip.

Sensing unusual activity at the front of the bus after the kids got on, I 
curiously cheated by lifting my blindfold to find two gents were boarding 
rather boisterously. Apparently they were still "having a night out"; 
unaware the sun had risen right along with their blood alcohol level. One 
stared down the isle with concentrated beady eyes pulling focus enough to 
find the bus full. Conceding to the empty grab bar in the front of the bus, 
he droopily hugged the pole with both arms like a skinny date  in a slow 
dance. The other fellow cockily swaggered about the bus exploring for a 
seat, using passenger's shoulders like rails in bumper bowling. The kid's 
chatter diminished as even they became aware of the state these two gents 
were in. Mid way down the long isle and recognizing the bus was full, the 
second fellow settled quietly to a staggered stance next to a nervous 
teacher. Both stood quiet, as did the rest of the bus with only the roar of 
the engine and squeak of the brakes for audible entertainment.

Finally breaking the intense silence, the adventurous drunk swung his head 
sideways staring at the teacher, head bobbing from the bumpy ride   and 
alcohol content. With half mast eyes he looked at the teacher and 
said,  "Pardon me sir."

The Teacher nervously returned the look replying

"Yes?"

The inebriated man proceeded

"Do you know Jesus Christ?"

Wide eyed and perplexed at the source of the question, the teacher replied

"Why, ah, yes. I do."

The drunken man returned his bobbing head to a forward position slurring in 
apparent amazement


"Well it sure is a small world isn't it?"