[stylist] Donna's synopsis revised after Anita's comments

loristay loristay at aol.com
Sat Nov 6 23:35:50 UTC 2010


This is much better than the first.  I find I was not so confused.  Make sure you have someone check it, proofreading, so you don't have a period followed by a comma, and other unusual typos.
Lori
On Nov 6, 2010, at 6:58:42 PM, "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net> wrote:

From:   "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
Subject:    [stylist] Donna's synopsis revised after Anita's comments
Date:   November 6, 2010 6:58:42 PM EDT
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Hi Anita,
Thanks for the feedback. That sentence was a bit unwieldy, and I revised 
the last one. See what you think of this.
Block quote

14-year-old refugees Abigail and Baggy live with guardians, while 
attending an unusual private school in Applebutter Hill., Abigail is a 
songwriter, who dreams of stardom while dealing with failing eyesight. 
Baggy is a photographer who likes working with cars and wood. During 
summer break, they travel in a flying ship disguised as a cloud. As 
uninvited guests in the Castle of Bar Gundoom, they learn of plans to 
steal a powerful sapphire from their new school. They escape to Satori 
Green where giant Chrysanthemums take them to Anbata's Well for 
guidance. Rutherford, a grumpy acorn, offers to help. Efforts to unravel 
the mystery bring them face to face with the stone itself and an armed 
stranger. Abigail's guide dog, Curly Connor, provides clues that uncover 
the spy. Concern about bullying leads to a secret surveillance plan.

Block quote end
Thanks,
Donna

-- 
Read Donna's articles on
Suite 101:
www.suite101.com/profile.cfm/donna_hill
Ezine Articles:
http://ezinearticles.com/?expert=D._W._Hill
American Chronicle:
www.americanchronicle.com/authors/view/3885

Connect with Donna on
Twitter:
www.twitter.com/dewhill
LinkedIn:
www.linkedin.com/in/dwh99
FaceBook:
www.facebook.com/donna.w.hill.

Hear clips from "The Last Straw" at:
cdbaby.com/cd/donnahill
Apple I-Tunes
phobos.apple.com/WebObjects/MZStore.woa/wa/viewAlbum?playListId=259244374

Check out the "Sound in Sight" CD project
Donna is Head of Media Relations for the nonprofit
Performing Arts Division of the National Federation of the Blind:
www.padnfb.org





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