[stylist] synopsis

Tue Oct 19 17:04:51 UTC 2010

Judith,

You previously mentioned being an established freelance writer.  This is
what I found with regard to you and your novel while performing a quick
Internet search:

***

"She is currently working on her first novel in a young adult series about
observant Jewish young adults that she wants to market in the mainstream
world. One may think that this is a topic for a niche audience, but Judith
doesn't agree. "Today, anti-Semitism is rearing its ugly head again. But
what do people hate?" She hopes to answer questions about observant Judaism,
their unique lifestyle and give her readers a page turning reading
experience that contains
mystery, intrigue, good guys, bad guys, issues surrounding life, and yes,
death. This book will give her readers a riveting novel that the young
adult, or perhaps adult reader, Won't be able to put down!"

***

That, I think, is intriguing.

Now, with that in mind, look over your synopsis and tell us if the synopsis
you've prepared lives up to this claim?

1. It's very dry.  You may as well write a bulleted list of incidents.
First this happened, and then that happened.  Then the character reacted
like this...

2. Find a balance between what is intriguing and too much enthusiasm.  You
wrote:

***

"They take her to a hotel room, tie her up like a hunted animal and the
criminals proceed to have a drinking party."

***

Are you writing to an editor, or are you writing to a teenager?  Remember
the novel audience is significantly different from your synopsis audience.

3. The themes laid out in the Internet search result is fascinating.  Flush
out those themes in your synopsis.  What you are turning in should not be a
shopping list, unless the publisher is requesting a chapter-by-chapter
outline.  The synopsis, according to what I understand you need to submit,
should be a panoramic view of the themes, trials and brief character
sketches the reader might encounter.  If I may offer a bit of advice, try to
aim for the tone of a movie trailer.  Think of the words the narrators use
to convince you to watch the upcoming movie!

It's looking good, but I recommend a bit more surgery.

Joe

"Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing 

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org 
[mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 12:41 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis

I want it in there to demonstrate Jennifer's emotional state.  
Because of 
her identity problems, she can't commit to an emotional relationship.
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "loristay" <loristay at aol.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 12:26 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis

I still think you could leave Randy out of the synopsis altogether.
Lori
On Oct 19, 2010, at 12:04:39 PM, "Judith Bron" 
<jbron at optonline.net> wrote:

From:   "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
Subject:    Re: [stylist] synopsis
Date:   October 19, 2010 12:04:39 PM EDT
To: jsorozco at gmail.com, "Writer's Division Mailing List" 
<stylist at nfbnet.org>
Hi Joe, Here's my latest attempt. I think this is more along the lines
everyone was talking about. Bottom line, do you think it sells the book?
Thanks, Judith
Jennifer Rabinowitz, living in Curtis Cove New York, begins our 
novel with a
near death experience and questions about her identity. Her 
foster mother,
Sheila has rushed to Jennifer's side to be with her after the accident.
Sheila's flashback to the day she received the only objects left by 
Jennifer's
long dead parents leaves the reader wondering about Jennifer, 
her parents
and the mystery surrounding the letter left to their daughter.

Jennifer's best friend is Randy, captain of her high school 
football team.
Randy wants more from Jennifer than friendship, but Jennifer 
reveals that
she can't begin an emotional relationship until she understands 
more about
her own identity.

The reader is introduced to the bigotry surrounding Jennifer's 
identity as a
Jew. This bigotry is all she knows about Judaism on her journey 
to find out
just who and what she is in the world she has lived in since 
being orphaned
when she was two.

Pessi Goldberg begins the story with a mother dieing of cancer and a
reclusive personality. Pessi's classmate Chavy Levy starts to 
bring her out
of the protective shell Pessi has shrouded herself in since entering her
present school the year before. Pessi's life is complicated by 
the poverty
shrouding her once affluent family.

Eventually Pessi's mother passes away from the cancer that has 
ravaged her
body. Heart broken Pessi now questions the motives of an 
Almighty she has
believed in her entire life. She questions why the Almighty has taken a
mother away from her two younger siblings. For the first time 
in her life
she has her solid faith in the Almighty challenged as she tries 
to overcome
her devastating loss.

Jennifer continues to puzzle over her Jewish identity that has 
only been a
part of her life during the chiding of anti-Semitic classmates. 
Eventually
her foster mother is helpful in getting her registered in an observant
Jewish summer camp hoping that the camp can teach Jennifer 
something about
her roots and identity. Jennifer returns from camp intent on 
living as an
observant Jewess. Again Sheila is helpful in getting her placed with a
family in Jenna, New York. This family doesn't work out, and Rabbi Levy,
Chavy's father, agrees to take Jennifer into their home.

The lives of Jennifer from the public schools of Curtis Cove, 
and the lives
of Pessi and Chavy from an observant Jewish Girls' school in 
Jenna, New York
become entwined forever. The small book and letter left by her 
parents has
become a fixture in Jennifer's backpack. In her darkened 
bedrooms Jennifer
clings to these possessions left by her parents and talks to them. She
eventually begins to learn the Hebrew language that both the 
small book and
letter are written in. She is able to learn from the letter 
that her Hebrew
name is Breindle and her mother Channah.

The day before the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashannah, the high school
principal Mrs. Newman asks Jennifer if she has a Hebrew name. She shyly
tells the principal her Hebrew name is Breindle and her mother 
Channah. The
principal asks her how she knows this and Jennifer pulls the 
small packet
out of her backpack. The principal pales when she sees these things and
tells Jennifer to put them in a safe place.

Rabbi Levy is an investment banker. The principal asks him 
later that day
to put the packet in a safe place and he places it in his 
safety deposit box
at the bank.

Pessi learns that her father intends to remarry. She vows she will never
accept this change in their family. More problems for Pessi 
who, since her
mother's illness and death has become a class leader, experiences more
turmoil over the change that is about to take place in her family.

Unbeknownst to Jennifer, the letter has a financial section. 
Criminals get
hold of this information and they kidnap Jennifer from a Jenna 
street. They
take her to a hotel room, tie her up like a hunted animal and 
the criminals
proceed to have a drinking party. Jennifer, lying on one of the 
beds, tries
to block out the sounds and odors of her abductors' drinking party and
spends the time reviewing school work in her mind. When her 
abductors fall
into a drunken slumber Jennifer works the ropes binding her 
arms off, slides
off the bed and, braced on her now free hands begins hopping to 
the door.

She prays her abductors do not awaken and, with her legs still tightly
bound, makes it into the hall where another guest in the hotel 
brings her
into his room where the guest's wife is packing. He calls the 
police, but
Jennifer's abductors try to get her back into their custody.

Eventually Jennifer is freed and the contents of the letter 
becomes known to
Jennifer. But Jennifer has a hard time dealing with her newly revealed
identity. She can't deal with the fact that she is not the same 
person she
has lived with for the past 17 years.

Both Pessi and Jennifer have to overcome problems with their identity
throughout the novel. Both have to deal with drastic changes in their
lifestyle. Both characters have to come to an understanding of 
who and what
they are in a world filled with danger, fear and self doubt. Painful
questions experienced by teenagers all over the world.

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