[stylist] synopsis

Tue Oct 19 17:20:18 UTC 2010

Joe, I don't even remember which article or write up that excerpt was taken 
from.  I don't think it's a bad memory, just a selective one.  I'll take 
this version back to the drawing board.  Thanks, Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Joe Orozco" <jsorozco at gmail.com>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 1:04 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis


> Judith,
>
> You previously mentioned being an established freelance writer.  This is
> what I found with regard to you and your novel while performing a quick
> Internet search:
>
> ***
>
> "She is currently working on her first novel in a young adult series about
> observant Jewish young adults that she wants to market in the mainstream
> world. One may think that this is a topic for a niche audience, but Judith
> doesn't agree. "Today, anti-Semitism is rearing its ugly head again. But
> what do people hate?" She hopes to answer questions about observant 
> Judaism,
> their unique lifestyle and give her readers a page turning reading
> experience that contains
> mystery, intrigue, good guys, bad guys, issues surrounding life, and yes,
> death. This book will give her readers a riveting novel that the young
> adult, or perhaps adult reader, Won't be able to put down!"
>
> ***
>
> That, I think, is intriguing.
>
> Now, with that in mind, look over your synopsis and tell us if the 
> synopsis
> you've prepared lives up to this claim?
>
> 1. It's very dry.  You may as well write a bulleted list of incidents.
> First this happened, and then that happened.  Then the character reacted
> like this...
>
> 2. Find a balance between what is intriguing and too much enthusiasm.  You
> wrote:
>
> ***
>
> "They take her to a hotel room, tie her up like a hunted animal and the
> criminals proceed to have a drinking party."
>
> ***
>
> Are you writing to an editor, or are you writing to a teenager?  Remember
> the novel audience is significantly different from your synopsis audience.
>
> 3. The themes laid out in the Internet search result is fascinating. 
> Flush
> out those themes in your synopsis.  What you are turning in should not be 
> a
> shopping list, unless the publisher is requesting a chapter-by-chapter
> outline.  The synopsis, according to what I understand you need to submit,
> should be a panoramic view of the themes, trials and brief character
> sketches the reader might encounter.  If I may offer a bit of advice, try 
> to
> aim for the tone of a movie trailer.  Think of the words the narrators use
> to convince you to watch the upcoming movie!
>
> It's looking good, but I recommend a bit more surgery.
>
> Joe
>
> "Hard work spotlights the character of people: some turn up their sleeves,
> some turn up their noses, and some don't turn up at all."--Sam Ewing
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
> [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Judith Bron
> Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 12:41 PM
> To: Writer's Division Mailing List
> Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis
>
> I want it in there to demonstrate Jennifer's emotional state.
> Because of
> her identity problems, she can't commit to an emotional relationship.
> ----- Original Message ----- 
> From: "loristay" <loristay at aol.com>
> To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Sent: Tuesday, October 19, 2010 12:26 PM
> Subject: Re: [stylist] synopsis
>
>
> I still think you could leave Randy out of the synopsis altogether.
> Lori
> On Oct 19, 2010, at 12:04:39 PM, "Judith Bron"
> <jbron at optonline.net> wrote:
>
> From:   "Judith Bron" <jbron at optonline.net>
> Subject:    Re: [stylist] synopsis
> Date:   October 19, 2010 12:04:39 PM EDT
> To: jsorozco at gmail.com, "Writer's Division Mailing List"
> <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Hi Joe, Here's my latest attempt. I think this is more along the lines
> everyone was talking about. Bottom line, do you think it sells the book?
> Thanks, Judith
> Jennifer Rabinowitz, living in Curtis Cove New York, begins our
> novel with a
> near death experience and questions about her identity. Her
> foster mother,
> Sheila has rushed to Jennifer's side to be with her after the accident.
> Sheila's flashback to the day she received the only objects left by
> Jennifer's
> long dead parents leaves the reader wondering about Jennifer,
> her parents
> and the mystery surrounding the letter left to their daughter.
>
> Jennifer's best friend is Randy, captain of her high school
> football team.
> Randy wants more from Jennifer than friendship, but Jennifer
> reveals that
> she can't begin an emotional relationship until she understands
> more about
> her own identity.
>
> The reader is introduced to the bigotry surrounding Jennifer's
> identity as a
> Jew. This bigotry is all she knows about Judaism on her journey
> to find out
> just who and what she is in the world she has lived in since
> being orphaned
> when she was two.
>
> Pessi Goldberg begins the story with a mother dieing of cancer and a
> reclusive personality. Pessi's classmate Chavy Levy starts to
> bring her out
> of the protective shell Pessi has shrouded herself in since entering her
> present school the year before. Pessi's life is complicated by
> the poverty
> shrouding her once affluent family.
>
> Eventually Pessi's mother passes away from the cancer that has
> ravaged her
> body. Heart broken Pessi now questions the motives of an
> Almighty she has
> believed in her entire life. She questions why the Almighty has taken a
> mother away from her two younger siblings. For the first time
> in her life
> she has her solid faith in the Almighty challenged as she tries
> to overcome
> her devastating loss.
>
> Jennifer continues to puzzle over her Jewish identity that has
> only been a
> part of her life during the chiding of anti-Semitic classmates.
> Eventually
> her foster mother is helpful in getting her registered in an observant
> Jewish summer camp hoping that the camp can teach Jennifer
> something about
> her roots and identity. Jennifer returns from camp intent on
> living as an
> observant Jewess. Again Sheila is helpful in getting her placed with a
> family in Jenna, New York. This family doesn't work out, and Rabbi Levy,
> Chavy's father, agrees to take Jennifer into their home.
>
> The lives of Jennifer from the public schools of Curtis Cove,
> and the lives
> of Pessi and Chavy from an observant Jewish Girls' school in
> Jenna, New York
> become entwined forever. The small book and letter left by her
> parents has
> become a fixture in Jennifer's backpack. In her darkened
> bedrooms Jennifer
> clings to these possessions left by her parents and talks to them. She
> eventually begins to learn the Hebrew language that both the
> small book and
> letter are written in. She is able to learn from the letter
> that her Hebrew
> name is Breindle and her mother Channah.
>
> The day before the Jewish New Year, Rosh Hashannah, the high school
> principal Mrs. Newman asks Jennifer if she has a Hebrew name. She shyly
> tells the principal her Hebrew name is Breindle and her mother
> Channah. The
> principal asks her how she knows this and Jennifer pulls the
> small packet
> out of her backpack. The principal pales when she sees these things and
> tells Jennifer to put them in a safe place.
>
> Rabbi Levy is an investment banker. The principal asks him
> later that day
> to put the packet in a safe place and he places it in his
> safety deposit box
> at the bank.
>
> Pessi learns that her father intends to remarry. She vows she will never
> accept this change in their family. More problems for Pessi
> who, since her
> mother's illness and death has become a class leader, experiences more
> turmoil over the change that is about to take place in her family.
>
> Unbeknownst to Jennifer, the letter has a financial section.
> Criminals get
> hold of this information and they kidnap Jennifer from a Jenna
> street. They
> take her to a hotel room, tie her up like a hunted animal and
> the criminals
> proceed to have a drinking party. Jennifer, lying on one of the
> beds, tries
> to block out the sounds and odors of her abductors' drinking party and
> spends the time reviewing school work in her mind. When her
> abductors fall
> into a drunken slumber Jennifer works the ropes binding her
> arms off, slides
> off the bed and, braced on her now free hands begins hopping to
> the door.
>
> She prays her abductors do not awaken and, with her legs still tightly
> bound, makes it into the hall where another guest in the hotel
> brings her
> into his room where the guest's wife is packing. He calls the
> police, but
> Jennifer's abductors try to get her back into their custody.
>
> Eventually Jennifer is freed and the contents of the letter
> becomes known to
> Jennifer. But Jennifer has a hard time dealing with her newly revealed
> identity. She can't deal with the fact that she is not the same
> person she
> has lived with for the past 17 years.
>
> Both Pessi and Jennifer have to overcome problems with their identity
> throughout the novel. Both have to deal with drastic changes in their
> lifestyle. Both characters have to come to an understanding of
> who and what
> they are in a world filled with danger, fear and self doubt. Painful
> questions experienced by teenagers all over the world.
>
>
>
>
>
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