[stylist] detective short revision

[Judith Bron]

Brad, When I write I do it both ways.  Some of my conclusions just happen, 
others are planned and worked out.  I don't know how Bridget does it, but I 
can't make a blanket statement.  Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "BDM" <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:06 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] detective short revision


> Glad you are working on this. I like the subtle changes and 
> embellishments. I've a question for you. At  this point, do you know in 
> your mind how the mystery  plays out, who done it, and the little twists 
> and details? Or when you write, are you making it up as you go. I've heard 
> authors promote both ways. Just curious on your method and not a spoiling 
> of the story, which I hope to read at a later date.
>
> Brad
>
> At 11:15 AM 10/22/2010, you wrote:
>>Hey guys,
>>
>>Since I shared the first draft with you lot, I thought I would share my
>>revision.  Again, I am not a detective fiction writer, nor do I wish to
>>be, but after your comments and my class workshop, I have made some
>>changes.
>>
>>My fiction, unfortunately, is not as good as my nonfiction, but I do
>>like my two main characters.  I would like to continue something with
>>them.
>>
>>Enjoy!
>>
>>Bridgit
>>
>>Sense of Murder
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden sat in his father's leather wingback chair rolling a large key
>>between his fingers.  The metal key had been cold, but now was warmed by
>>his hands.  He gripped the key in his palm and rubbed a thumb across the
>>rough , rusty surface.  A few weeks ago, Ayden had merely been
>>researching the mysterious death of his grandfather for a book he was
>>writing.  Now, he sat among items wondering if his grandfather had been
>>murdered.
>>
>>Ayden's father had found Ayden's grandfather lying at the bottom of the
>>staircase in his home.  His father never spoke about the incident after
>>reporting it to the police.  His father was allowing Ayden and Salma to
>>search through any items he kept though.
>>
>>For years there had been whispers of foul play, but no one ever spoke
>>about the rumors.  The official ruling was that Henry Templeton, Ayden's
>>grandfather, had accidently fallen down the stairs.  Other than the
>>vicious gossip, there didn't seem to be any reason to think otherwise
>>until Ayden began researching his grandfather's life.  A few weeks of
>>poking around Henry Templeton's past, Ayden received a mysterious email.
>>
>>  Your journey has just begun, but it is advisable that you stop your
>>investigation immediately.  Heartache and harm can only befall you
>>
>>  Alarmed, but intrigued, Ayden picked up his research with new fervor.
>>Now he and his friend and neighbor, Salma, sat in his father's large
>>office surrounded by books and papers searching for clues that may
>>indicate a reason why his grandfather would have been murdered.
>>
>>"So what's next?" Salma asked.
>>
>>Tapping the key in his palm, Ayden said, "I'm not sure.  This letter
>>says a lot."
>>
>>Ayden closed his eyes thinking on this letter.  It was evidence, even if
>>circumstantial, that suggested, if his grandmother knew about it, she
>>could have killed Henry.
>>
>>People had said his grandmother, Lucy, had been distracted and irritable
>>a couple of weeks before his grandfather's death.  When his father found
>>Henry at the bottom of the stairs, the only other person present had
>>been his grandmother.  Stunned by the event, his father had placed Lucy
>>in a nursing home.
>>
>>There was a pause then paper crackled before Salma spoke.  "It's pretty
>>clear from this letter that your grandfather was having an affair.  I
>>wonder if we can figure out these initials, A. W."
>>
>>Ayden shut his eyes again, thinking, trying to remember anyone he had
>>ever met with A. W. for initials.  "I don't know," he sighed.
>>
>>As Ayden and Salma leafed through pictures and notes, they had found an
>>old copy of Wuthering Heights.
>>
>>Ayden remembered the year his grandfather had given the third edition
>>book to his grandmother for Christmas.  His grandmother had sat
>>unwrapping the gift, then exclaimed, "Oh," before looking up with tears
>>in her eyes.  Wuthering Heights had always been her favorite novel.
>>Lucy had been the one person to encourage Ayden to follow his dream and
>>take up writing instead of joining the family law firm.  "You're meant
>>to follow your own path," Lucy had told Ayden once.
>>
>>After an accident had left Ayden blind, his father had refused to
>>believe Ayden could handle the work of a litigator, but Lucy had never
>>doubted his ability to do anything.
>>
>>Now, Ayden and Salma found a letter enclosed in the pages of the book; a
>>letter suggesting a secret Ayden never knew about.
>>
>>Ayden touched the thick, but stiff piece of paper and held it out to
>>Salma to inspect.  She told him the letter appeared old, but not as old
>>as the book.  A few of the torn edges of the letter were turning yellow.
>>The letter was simple as she read:
>>
>>Henry, my love,
>>
>>I can not wait to see you again.  I hoped and when I saw you coming down
>>the road, my heart leaped.  I still feel your touch.  How much longer
>>must we wait?  Please, my darling, give me what I ask before it is too
>>late.
>>
>>Love, A. W.
>>
>>When Ayden's father found Henry's body, Lucy had gone wild, screaming,
>>unable to leave Henry's lifeless body.
>>
>>Gossips spread the news, sweeping far and wide.  Lucy was crazy, they
>>said.  She went mad, she killed her husband.  It was juicy, just what a
>>small town needed.
>>
>>The police never looked into the possibility, but Lucy died with a black
>>mark attached to her memory.
>>
>>Ayden never believed that his grandmother would hurt anyone.  She had
>>been fond of Ayden, and she never treated him like his life was over
>>after the accident.
>>
>>"What now?  Where do we go next?" Salma asked.
>>
>>Ayden held the rusted, copper key up in front of him.  "We visit the old
>>Templeton mansion."
>>
>>The Templeton mansion was the Victorian home his grandparents had lived
>>in.  The family still owned it, but it had sat empty for years.  Ayden
>>thought that maybe more secrets were hidden within the walls of the
>>Templeton house, eager to be discovered.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden sat in the car as Salma drove.  Neither spoke as Ayden's fingers
>>slid across the pages on his lap.  Reading his Braille notes, Ayden
>>wondered where to start once they reached the small town where his
>>grandparents and father had grown up.
>>
>>His grandfather had started a small law firm in town, but eventually it
>>grew.  His grandparents had moved when Ayden's father, Nick, had been
>>ten.
>>
>>Nick never spoke about his childhood though.  Ayden really didn't know
>>much about his family's past.  His grandparents had moved back to their
>>old house once Nick took the firm over, but Ayden had rarely visited the
>>home.  After his grandfather had died, Lucy, unable to cope with his
>>death, had moved into an upscale nursing home in the City, and Nick left
>>the house untouched.
>>
>>As the car slowed, Ayden looked up at Salma.  "Are we there?"
>>
>>"Yes.  What's our first stop?"
>>
>>"I'm  figuring this out as we go along.  I guess the police station."
>>
>>Salma was silent before saying, "You okay?  I know your dad wasn't happy
>>when you asked about the letter."
>>
>>He remembered how Nick had gone quiet and cold before telling him ,
>>"Leave it alone.  We don't dig up family history."
>>
>>Ayden had tried to coax him to say more, but the subject was closed.
>>
>>"Yeah.  I wish he would have told us more.  Explained something," Ayden
>>said.
>>
>>"Maybe he just wants to keep your family secrets, well, secret.  Some
>>people don't like giving out info about anything."
>>
>>"I just feel like he knows more than he's letting on."
>>
>>"We'll find something.  Don't worry."
>>
>>Salma was always reassuring Ayden.  She had become a constant in his
>>life.  The only real constant he had.  She had shown up one day,
>>knocking on his door, holding a dish in her hands, offering Ayden some
>>home made enchiladas.  That had been the beginning of their friendship.
>>They had spent many nights talking until three in the morning and
>>hanging out on weekends.  Salma was the one true connection Ayden had to
>>the outside world.
>>
>>Ayden never felt like he fit in his family's world of snobbish dinner
>>parties, elite country clubs and preferential treatment at most Ivy
>>League universities.  After graduating from college, His father had told
>>him, "No one will ever respect a blind man in the courtroom.  Maybe the
>>firm can bring you on as a researcher."  Ayden was tired of his father's
>>attitude so he took a job writing for a small magazine and left the
>>family home.
>>
>>Once moving away, he had become a recluse of sorts.  He showed up to the
>>office for work, attended cocktail parties required for work and even
>>dated a couple of girls, but Salma was the one person he truly felt
>>comfortable with.  Her infectious way of always looking at things
>>positively seemed like a novelty to Ayden.  She could always make him
>>smile.  When he began writing the book about Henry, Salma had offered to
>>assist in anyway she could.
>>
>>"I'm really glad you're here," Ayden said.
>>
>>"Yeah, yeah.  I'm waiting for my pay check.  My services don't come
>>free."  Salma giggled as she pulled into a parking stall.  "I think
>>we're here."
>>
>>"Thanks, again, for taking the day off to help."
>>
>>"Hey, I know you'd help me with stuff.  It's all so interesting; way
>>more interesting than filling in for waiters who don't show up for
>>work."
>>
>>"You aren't at work, who's filling in for you?" Ayden said grinning at
>>her.
>>
>>Salma smacked his arm.  "That's the benefit of being the owner's
>>daughter."
>>
>>While Salma dropped coins into the parking meter, Ayden tapped his cane
>>along the brick walls looking for the door.  Hearing the difference from
>>the cane tip tapping on brick to the clink of glass, he figured he found
>>the door.
>>
>>"No Braille, is this it?" he shouted back to Salma.
>>
>>"Yes," she answered rushing to catch up.
>>
>>They entered the quiet, almost lazy-like atmosphere of the police
>>station.  Ayden moved towards the sound of  clacking as some one pressed
>>keys on a computer keyboard with a practiced efficiency.  This, he
>>thought, must be a reception desk.
>>
>>Stepping up to a smooth feeling counter, Ayden said, "Excuse me."
>>
>>"Can I help you?" a woman's bored voice said.
>>
>>"We were wondering if we can speak to some one who worked the Henry
>>Templeton case," Ayden said.
>>
>>
>>
>>The woman stopped typing and a long silence followed.  "Who's  asking?"
>>
>>"I'm Ayden Templeton, Henry's grandson."
>>
>>"One minute."  A chair creaked as the woman stood.  Her shoes clicked on
>>the linoleum floor as she walked away.
>>
>>Salma touched Ayden's arm.  "She had a weird look when you mentioned
>>your grandpa's name."
>>
>>As the receptionist returned, another footstep joined hers, but this
>>person shuffled slightly.
>>
>>The person shuffled towards Salma, saying, "Hello.  I'm Sheriff Jenkins.
>>How can I help you?"
>>
>>Ayden stepped closer towards Salma, extending his arm to Sheriff
>>Jenkins.  "I'm Ayden Templeton and this is Salma Juarez.  We have some
>>questions about my grandfather's death."
>>
>>There was a pause before Sheriff Jenkins shook Ayden's hand.  "Step into
>>my office please."
>>
>>Ayden followed the sheriff into a room off the main section of the
>>department.  His cane swep the inside of the door frame, indicating the
>>width so Ayden avoided bumping into the edges of the frame.  Ayden asked
>>where a chair was and turned in the direction Captain Jenkins indicated.
>>Finding the chair with his cane, he felt Salma's arm brush his as she
>>sat next to him.
>>
>>"Can I get you anything?" Sheriff Jenkins asked.
>>
>>"No, but thank you.  Salma?"
>>
>>"I'm good," Salma replied.
>>
>>Ayden felt a tension fill the room as the three sat there, not speaking.
>>Sheriff Jenkins began tapping the edge of the metal table in the
>>interrogation room.  Ayden twisted his cane between his fingers.  Salma
>>bobbed her foot which was lightly kicking Ayden's shin.
>>
>>"We're hoping to learn as much as we can about Henry Templeton's death.
>>I'm researching the story for a novel I'm working on," Ayden started.
>>
>>"I worked the case.  There's not much to tell," Sheriff Jenkins said.
>>
>>"I know you eventually reported it as an accidental death, but was there
>>ever any evidence suggesting otherwise?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"No.  We questioned friends and family and there was no reason to
>>believe Henry Templeton was murdered," Sheriff Jenkins said with an edge
>>to his tone.
>>
>>Ayden shifted his head towards Salma.  Even though he had been blind for
>>seven-years, Ayden still used visual gestures and body movement.  "I
>>know there was-uh-speculation that maybe my grandmother did it."
>>
>>"Lucy Baldwin?  She never hurt anyone.  We were all shocked when she
>>married Henry.  She could have had anyone she wanted."
>>
>>Ayden leaned against the table looking straight in the direction where
>>Sheriff Jenkins sat.  "I thought Henry was a catch?  Wouldn't most have
>>jumped at the chance to marry into the Templeton family?  You know, a
>>lawyer from a wealthy family and all that."
>>
>>"He was a playboy.  Always was, never changed."
>>
>>"Who did you question about his death?" Salma broke in.
>>
>>The sheriff's chair creaked as he leaned back.  "Well, of course Lucy
>>and her boy Nick.  They were there.  Found his body and all."
>>
>>Ayden shot the sheriff a questioning glance.  He was talking like he had
>>forgot who Ayden was.
>>
>>"Then there was Zelda, the housekeeper, and Avery Mayer, he came around
>>about once a week to help Lucy with the lawn.  She loved her garden.
>>Her roses won prizes around here," Sheriff Jenkins continued.
>>
>>"Anyone else?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"Oh, his work associates, but Henry was retired so they didn't see much
>>of him anymore.  Alice Madison , she had been his personal secretary for
>>years.  She still did stuff part-time for Henry."
>>
>>Ayden had pulled out a three-by-five plastic device that had six rows of
>>cells containing three holes on each side of the cells.  A pop-pop-pop
>>sound was made as Ayden poked a pointed awl-like object called a stylus
>>through the holes as he took Braille notes.  "Are any of these people
>>still around?"
>>
>>"Not everyone had the same opportunities as the Templeton's to leave
>>town.  Other than Henry's work associates, I think most of them still
>>live around here.  At least the one's who are still alive."
>>
>>"Is there anything else you can tell us?  Was there anything strange you
>>noticed?  Any evidence that suggest something other than an accidental
>>tumble down the stairs?"
>>
>>The sheriff laughed.  "I know you city folk like to dream up seedy
>>happenings in small towns, but Henry Templeton's death was nothing more
>>than an accident.  Nothing dark about it."
>>
>>"Thank you for your time," Ayden said extending his hand again to shake
>>Sheriff Jenkins's.
>>
>>Sheriff Jenkins sighed.  "Look, don't go digging anything up.  Just let
>>the dead rest."
>>
>>Salma's bracelet tinkled as they stood.
>>
>>"We understand.  I'm just trying to find things out about my grandfather
>>for the book.  You know, no stone uncovered," Ayden said.
>>
>>"Are you two married?" Sheriff Jenkins asked.
>>
>>Ayden, confused by the switch, replied, "No."
>>
>>The sheriff chuckled.  "Like your grandpa, I see."
>>
>>Ayden blushed, but Salma said, "Ayden is nothing but a gentleman.
>>Clearly something he did not pick up in this town."
>>
>>"I know the kind of men the Templeton's are," the sheriff said.
>>
>>Unsure of what to do, Ayden turned to leave.
>>
>>"At least he has a better chance of touching what you have been admiring
>>this whole time," Salma snapped.  She turned quickly, fluttering Ayden's
>>collar up as she rushed past.
>>
>>
>>
>>Back in the car, he said, "I'm sorry.  I didn't know what to say."
>>
>>"It's okay.  He was a pig."
>>
>>"I didn't realize-"
>>
>>"I know, its okay.  Where to next?"
>>
>>He could tell Salma was upset, but he left it alone.  "The house, I
>>guess."
>>
>>As the car backed out into the silent street, Ayden wondered why she had
>>told Sheriff Jenkins what she had.  Was it simply said in a moment of
>>anger, or was there any truth in her words, he thought.  He has a better
>>chance of touching what you have been admiring.  Ayden smiled as he
>>thought of the possibilities with Salma.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden stood before the house remembering the bright blue it had been
>>during the few visits he had made during his childhood.  The house had
>>always stood out even among the street full of bright, cheery houses
>>complete with emerald lawns and award winning gardens.  The Templeton
>>house had a wrap-around porch with a veranda to the back opening onto a
>>large lawn complete with a British garden.  Its three stories reaching
>>majestically towards the sky.
>>
>>Ayden now gripped the rough, wooden railing of the house.  The feel of
>>the railing did not match his memory of the sleek, smooth dark wooden
>>banister.  The stairs creaked as he stepped on them.  Reaching the
>>porch, he felt a slight dip and quickly stepped sideways in fear of
>>falling through the porch.  Children played nearby and cars languidly
>>drove down the street, but a strange silence surrounded the house.  It
>>was as though Ayden were underneath water trying to make out the distant
>>sounds.  The scent of jasmine passed briefly through his nose as Salma
>>stood next to him.
>>
>>"How does it look?" Ayden asked ignoring the scent.
>>
>>Salma took a deep breath.  "It's run down, that's for sure.  I can't
>>believe no one has lived here for years."
>>
>>"My family still owns it, but after my grandfather's death, no one
>>wanted to do anything about it."
>>
>>"So sad," Salma said quietly.
>>
>>Ayden placed his hand on the cold knob of the dilapidated Victorian
>>house.  He dug in his pockets for the rusty key he had found in his
>>father's office.  As he inserted the heavy key in the lock, a quiet
>>click was heard.  Ayden pushed the solid door open.  He looked in
>>Salma's direction before stepping inside.  Shutting the door, the house
>>engulfed all sound like a tomb.
>>
>>"Creepy," Salma said as she shivered.
>>
>>Ayden walked forward tapping his long white cane, arcing wide so as to
>>not run into anything.  Dust filled the air and Ayden coughed as he
>>inhaled.
>>
>>"This has been sitting for years," Ayden rasped.  "What's it look like?"
>>
>>"It's really dark, but it's almost completely empty.  What do you think
>>you'll find?"
>>
>>"I'm not sure.  Sheriff Jenkins wasn't much help.  I just thought, maybe
>>something."
>>
>>Salma's sandals clipped-clopped as she walked over to a window to open
>>it.  "Well, if we are going to be here long we need fresh air."
>>
>>Ayden felt a rush of summer breeze as the window clambered up.  The
>>sound of kids playing ruined the house's stolid silence.  Life entered
>>the house again as Ayden began to feel around searching for any clue.
>>
>>Ayden moved from room to room feeling walls and any remaining furniture,
>>hoping to find something, anything.  Making his progression from room to
>>room on the main floor, he heard Salma's muffled footsteps overhead.  He
>>smiled to himself as He rifled through drawers and cupboards.  So far
>>his hands had only found dust and cobwebs.
>>
>>
>>
>>"Ayden, Ayden!" Salma shouted a couple of hours later.
>>
>>Ayden hurried towards the staircase where Salma's voice echoed from.
>>"Salma!  Are you okay?"
>>
>>"Get up here!  I found something!"
>>
>>Ayden clambered up the grand staircase.  Reaching the second floor, he
>>shouted, "What room?"
>>
>>"Um, it's a bedroom."
>>
>>He rolled his eyes.  "Right."  Hearing her voice off to his left, Ayden
>>moved down the hallway.  At the end, he found a door open.
>>
>>"Salma?"
>>
>>Salma's clapping sandals moved towards him.
>>
>>"Look at this," she said excitedly.  Her bracelet tinkled and paper
>>crackled as she shoved something in Ayden's hand.
>>
>>Ayden grinned.  "Um."  He handed the paper back to Salma.
>>
>>"Oh-sorry.  I just-you won't believe this."
>>
>>It was another letter; a love letter to Henry.
>>
>>Henry, My love,
>>
>>I miss you.  I grow restless with each day.  I have waited years to be
>>with you, really be with you.  Let's stop the pretending, stop the lies.
>>Don't be mad with me.  I would do anything for you, but we must stop
>>hiding.  There is no harm in this.  I will wait to hear from you, but
>>don't take long.  If you don't choose me, I will marry Tom Madison.
>>
>>Love,
>>
>>A.     W.
>>
>>Salma rushed through the letter almost in one breath.  Ayden was not
>>quite sure what her excitement was for.
>>
>>"We already know Henry was having an affair of sorts," he said.
>>
>>Salma sighed impatiently.  "Ayden, think about it.  Don't you see?"
>>
>>"Not really," he said slowly.
>>
>>She grabbed his wrist.  Her slender fingers gripped him with a strength
>>Ayden would not have guessed at.  She moved in closer and once again,
>>Ayden took in the scent of jasmine.  This time he smelled something else
>>with it.  Vanilla, he thought.  Salma shook his arm slightly, her
>>tinkling crystal bracelet grazing his wrist,  bringing him back to
>>attention.
>>
>>"Ayden, A. W.  Don't you see it yet?"
>>
>>"A. W.?"
>>
>>"The initials," she said exasperated, "A. W.  It's Alice Madison."
>>
>>"Who's Alice Madison?"
>>
>>Salma smacked her forehead.  "Ay-where are your notes from today?"
>>
>>Ayden pulled out the three-by-five note card from his back pocket.
>>
>>"Now read through it," Salma said as though talking to a small child.
>>
>>A second passed and Half way through his notes, Ayden stopped and looked
>>sharply up at Salma.
>>
>>"See?" Salma asked.
>>
>>"You think A. W. and Alice Madison are the same person?"
>>
>>"It fits."
>>
>>"Henry's secretary.  And Sheriff Jenkins said she's still living in
>>town.  She must have married this Madison guy."
>>
>>"Think we can find her?"
>>
>>"Give me a minute," Ayden said reaching for his mobile phone tucked away
>>in his pocket.  An electronic voice hummed from his phone as he
>>maneuvered through the menus.
>>
>>"Got it.  There's only one Alice Madison that shows up in town."
>>
>>"Thank God for technology," Salma said.  "No wonder no one could ever
>>solve this case."
>>
>>Ayden smirked at her.  "Thank God for accessible technology.  Come on.
>>She doesn't live far from here and it's not too late."
>>
>>
>>
>>Ten minutes later, they knocked on Alice Madison's door.  Salma
>>described the house's well-kempt lawn and green exterior.  She said that
>>flower boxes lined the windows and white shutters hung from the upstair
>>windows.
>>
>>The door opened and a woman's voice gasped, "Oh."
>>
>>"Mrs. Madison?  I'm Ayden-"
>>
>>"Templeton," she said.  "You look like Henry."
>>
>>Smiling, Ayden said, "Mrs. Madison, this is my friend Salma.  We're
>>working on a book about my grandfather, and we would like to ask you
>>some questions."
>>
>>"Oh, of course.  Come in, come in."
>>
>>As the door shut behind Ayden and Salma, he smelled a flower scent that
>>he couldn't place and a clock ticked nearby.  Alice Madison ushered them
>>into a sitting room off the entryway.  Salma sat next to Ayden on the
>>soft couch while Alice sat across from them.
>>
>>"Can I offer you anything?  I just made lemonade."
>>
>>"That would be wonderful," Salma said.
>>
>>As Alice left the room, Ayden turned towards Salma.  "I'm sorry, I
>>didn't even think to ask if you were hungry."
>>
>>"Hon, it's okay.  I didn't think about it myself until now."
>>
>>"We'll have dinner after this; I promise."
>>
>>"Promise?"
>>
>>Ayden grinned as Alice returned.  She placed an ice-cold glass in
>>Ayden's hand.  Ice chinked against the side as he took a gulp.  The cold
>>liquid felt good down his throat after the dust of the Templeton house.
>>He could only imagine how dirty he and Salma looked.  He felt the
>>mingled grime of sweat and dirt on his body.  Why had it not occurred to
>>them to stop somewhere first and wash up, Ayden thought.
>>
>>"So, what can I help you with?  Henry was a dear friend and I miss him.
>>You must call me Alice."
>>
>>"Well, Alice, we specifically are interested in his death," Ayden said.
>>
>>Alice coughed as she choked on her lemonade.  "Why would you be
>>interested in that?"
>>
>>"I believe that maybe his death wasn't accidental."
>>
>>"Oh dear, don't buy into those silly rumors.  Pete Jenkins conducted a
>>thorough investigation and no foul play was to be hinted at."
>>
>>"And yet the rumors persist," Ayden said.
>>
>>"Silly gossip.  Housewives bored out of there minds."
>>
>>"You know Sheriff Jenkins?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"Darling, it's a small town; everybody knows everybody."
>>
>>Ayden sipped on his lemonade as Salma clicked her nails against the side
>>of her glass.
>>
>>"We have reason to believe maybe there is more to the story," Ayden
>>said.  He affected his best courtroom demeanor.  He had observed his
>>father like this hundreds of times.
>>
>>Alice swirled ice chuncks around in her glass.  Her voice had lost some
>>of its cheeriness when she responded by asking, "What makes you say
>>that?"
>>
>>He found the love letter in a folder.  Removing the Braille label, he
>>set it on the coffee table dividing them from Alice.  "Did you write
>>this?"
>>
>>The letter rustled as Alice picked it up.  When she spoke, her voice
>>sounded strained as though she were holding back tears.
>>
>>"Where did you find this?"
>>
>>"It was in some old boxes in the Templeton home," Salma said.
>>
>>A long silence followed in which Ayden heard Alice sniffling.
>>
>>"I suppose the truth has to come out sooner or later," Alice said
>>quietly.
>>
>>"We don't need-a-details of anything, but is there any reason to think
>>Henry was killed?" Ayden soothed.
>>
>>"Your grandfather hired me when I was eighteen," Alice began, ignoring
>>him.  "I instantly fell in love with him, but he was that type.
>>Dashingly handsome, charming to a fault.  He was a few years older than
>>me, but I knew how all the girls waited for their chance to rope Henry
>>into marriage.  I felt so lucky to see him everyday.  I started out as a
>>simple receptionist, but eventually he promoted me to his personal
>>secretary."
>>
>>"Did you move with my grandparents then, when they moved?" he asked.
>>
>>Alice sighed.  "Yes, but after-things happened-I moved back.  I remained
>>in his employ, working from the office here in town.  Before your father
>>took charge, Henry's headquarters had always been based from here."
>>
>>Ayden nodded his head.
>>
>>"I never meant to hurt anyone.  Things happened.  Henry loved us both,
>>Lucy and I.  I tried to end it for years, but Henry always showed up
>>with that smile of his.  Then I tried to make him choose.  I should've
>>known better, but I was in love."
>>
>>Alice spilled her story, hoping for redemption perhaps.
>>
>>"The final straw came right before his death.  We had carried on for
>>almost forty-years and I knew it had to stop.  We fought.  I threatened
>>to tell Lucy and that was that.  He left me promising to choose.  I
>>waited for an answer, but a week later, Henry was found dead."
>>
>>"Did you ever tell anyone?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"No."
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden and Salma stood by the car outside Alice's house.  A breeze
>>tousled Ayden's hair and Salma gently combed her fingers through his
>>dark tresses.
>>
>>"Seems like all you Templeton men are irresistible," she said teasingly.
>>
>>Unsure of how to respond to her comment, he grinned, but before he could
>>make a remark, her car door clicked open.  He slid into the passenger
>>seat, heart pounding.
>>
>>"You promised me dinner," Salma whined playfully.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Munching on diner-style hamburgers and fries, they took the opportunity
>>to relax.
>>
>>"How come you didn't visit your grandparents much?" Salma asked.
>>
>>"Not sure.  Mom and Dad were always busy.  Usually just my sister and I
>>came."
>>
>>"Did you ever notice anything between them then?"
>>
>>"No, but I was a kid."
>>
>>"What about when you were older?"
>>
>>"Naw, I was busy then too.  After the accident, though, I spent more
>>time with my grandma.  She was the only one who treated me like me
>>still, but she died shortly after that."
>>
>>"I wish I could have met her."
>>
>>"She would have liked you."
>>
>>"I always hated seeing my family all the time, but now I'm glad we're so
>>close."
>>
>>"Hey, let's walk around town."  Ayden slid out of the vinyl booth and
>>paid at the register.
>>
>>Meeting Salma out by the car, they moved towards the downtown area.
>>Salma kept up with Ayden's stride as his cane tapped from side-to-side.
>>
>>"Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a small town," she mused.
>>
>>"Really, you?  Ms. Have-to-go-shopping-every-other-day," he joked.
>>
>>"I could drive to the city.  I don't know.  It seems like a nice place
>>to raise a family."
>>
>>Ayden had never heard Salma speak about wanting kids.  As well as he
>>knew her, he realized there was plenty he still had to learn.
>>
>>"Yes, we could raise happy little kids who will grow up to cheat, lie
>>and murder," he scoffed.
>>
>>"We, huh?"
>>
>>Ayden blushed, feeling the heat creep up his neck to his face.  He
>>hadn't caught his blunder.  He sputtered, but before he could make sense
>>of his words, Salma grabbed his hand.
>>
>>"Maybe we can live in the Templeton mansion," she said.
>>
>>They walked silently back to the car hand-in-hand.
>>
>>"It's pretty late, what should we do?" Salma asked.
>>
>>Ayden flipped the crystal face of his watch up.  Feeling the raised dots
>>and arrows, he said, "It's a quarter to eleven.  I'm beat."
>>
>>"Me too.  I don't really feel like driving back tonight though."
>>
>>He scratched his head.  "I guess we can stay at casa-de-Templeton."
>>
>>"Okay, but no funny business," Salma joked.
>>
>>Sitting in the car, Ayden said, "By the way, unlike some men in my
>>family, I'm more of a one-woman type."
>>
>>"Good to know."  Salma kissed his cheek.
>>
>>Ayden laced his fingers through hers.
>>
>>"I was wondering when you would make a move," she said.
>>
>>Ayden reached for her face and leaned in to kiss her.  Her lips were
>>smooth and tasted of cherry.  Salma placed her hand on his face as they
>>held this pose for a minute.
>>
>>
>>
>>Back at the Templeton house, they stood on either side of the king-size
>>bed in the master bedroom.
>>
>>"Sure you don't want to sleep in another room?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"Hell no!  This house is creepy."
>>
>>"I thought you wanted to raise children here?"
>>
>>"Shut-up.  Scared to sleep with a girl?"  The bed creaked as Salma lay
>>down on it.  "A bit musty."
>>
>>They had found spare bed linens in a box and had attempted to shake them
>>out as best they could.  Ayden had noticed a lingering wispy scent of
>>flowers that he could not place.  It may have been the remnants of
>>something used to launder the linens years ago, he had thought.
>>
>>Without thinking, he removed his shirt and handed it to Salma.  "Here.
>>You can wrap your pillow in it."
>>
>>"Thanks," Salma said drawing the word out.
>>
>>Realizing what he had done, he blushed for the millionth time that day.
>>Not able to turn back what he had done, Ayden lay slowly down, sticking
>>close to the edge.
>>
>>"Keep your hands above the blankets," she yawned.
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden woke disoriented at first, but comprehension quickly dawned as he
>>felt Salma's small body nestled against his.  She snored quietly and
>>Ayden smiled.  This was nice, he thought.  He extracted himself gently
>>from the bed, trying to not wake Salma.
>>
>>He needed to use the bathroom, but it struck him that the bathrooms
>>would not be in working order.  It was primitive, but it would have to
>>do, he thought as he found his way downstairs and out into the back
>>garden.  Hoping no neighbors were awake to see him, he relieved himself.
>>
>>Half asleep still, his eyes snapped open as a slight shuffle came from
>>behind him.  Finished with his midnight chore, he listened intently, but
>>no sound came again.  He turned around, gripping his cane like a weapon
>>in one hand.
>>
>>"Hello," he said.
>>
>>No response came.  He turned back towards the house and as he walked,
>>Ayden felt his back tingle.  It was the sensation he felt as a child
>>when terrified, feeling a presence behind him.  He was thirty-years-old
>>now, he chided himself.  Forcing himself to walk calmly back into the
>>house, he reached the French doors and entered.  As he went to shut the
>>doors, a soft shuffle started in the darkness again.  It could have been
>>the long dead foliage of the garden rustling in the breeze, but Ayden
>>couldn't be sure.  Placing himself in the doorway again, the noise
>>instantly stopped.
>>
>>Slamming the door and locking it, Ayden flew to the stairs, taking three
>>steps at a time.  Heart pounding, blood rushing in his ears, Ayden felt
>>a cool breeze cut through the stuffy air of the bedroom.
>>
>>Danmit, he swore to himself.  They had opened windows before going to
>>bed, hoping to air out their lodgings for the night.
>>
>>Salma still was sleeping peacefully on the bed.  He sat on the bed
>>resting his head on the large carved headboard, listening.
>>
>>Crickets chirped outside and the breeze rustled the leaves of trees from
>>time to time.  Salma continued her snoring as Ayden waited to hear the
>>shuffle again or a step on the stairs, but nothing came.  He relaxed
>>after fifteen minutes of his vigilante watch.
>>
>>Laying back down on the bed, one arm behind his head, he smiled when
>>Salma threw an arm across his chest.  Thinking only of Salma by now,
>>Ayden drifted back off to sleep.
>>
>>
>>
>>The second time Ayden woke he knew where he was, but something was not
>>right.  Salma still snored next to him as he spooned her, but an acrid
>>odor filled his nostrils.  A loud crack made him bolt up in bed.
>>
>>"Salma!  There's a fire!"  He shook her until she woke up.
>>
>>"We need to get out of here," Ayden shouted as she slowly regained
>>conscienceness.
>>
>>Ayden flew to the open door.  Smoke filled his nose and made his eyes
>>water.  "Salma, I can't tell if we can make it down the stairs."
>>
>>Standing next to him, she said, "All I can see is smoke.  Can we jump
>>out the window?"
>>
>>"We're on the second floor.  It's pretty high up."
>>
>>Now across the room, Salma cry, "Oh-my-god!  Ayden!"
>>
>>"What?"
>>
>>"I can see flames around the base of the house."
>>
>>"Shit."  Trying to think, Ayden gathered up the sheet from the bed.
>>Dousing it with water from bottles purchased the night before, he threw
>>the sheet in Salma's direction.  "Wrap yourself in this."
>>
>>"Why?"
>>
>>"Just do it."
>>
>>Making sure her long hair was covered, Ayden threw Salma over his broad
>>shoulder.  Grabbing his cane by the door, he moved into the hallway.
>>Hoping the shirt tied around his face would keep out smoke, Ayden ran to
>>the top of the stairs.  Despite the situation, Ayden could not help
>>notice the harlequin-romance-like predicament.
>>
>>He heard Salma say something, but her face was muffled and he could not
>>understand her.  Tucking his cane underneath his arm, he groped the
>>banister which still seemed intact.  Finally reaching the bottom, he
>>found his way to the front door and opened it.
>>
>>A rush of fresh air greeted him.  Feeling heat, he hoped they could make
>>it off the porch.  At the porch steps, panicked, he placed Salma upright
>>again.  She struggled to loosen the sheet around her.
>>
>>"Are the flames here too?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>"No, but there coming from behind."
>>
>>At the end of the drive, Ayden dialed 911 on his phone.  Neighbors could
>>be heard coming from their own houses.  A few ran up to Ayden and Salma
>>asking if they were okay.
>>
>>Standing at a distance, the flames roared.  Salma held his hand as they
>>waited in silence for the sound of sirens.
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden rested on the back bumper of Sheriff Jenkins's police cruiser.
>>The mid-morning sun warmed his face.  Still shirtless, a blanket draped
>>his shoulders.  A gritty smudge crossed his forehead and he could still
>>smell the smoke embracing his body.
>>
>>Once the firemen had extinguished the fire, Sheriff Jenkins and his
>>deputy, a man about Ayden's age, drove Salma and Ayden to the police
>>station.  Each gave a report before Ayden's father was contacted.
>>
>>Salma approached Ayden now offering a cup of water.  He gulped the cool
>>liquid down as she rested her head against his shoulder.  Sniffing her
>>hair laced with the jasmine and vanilla scent and smoke, Ayden
>>protectively placed an arm around her.
>>
>>"Ayden," Salma said in quiet surprise, "Alice Madison's here."
>>
>>Ayden pulled the blanket closed as he waited for Alice to approach.  A
>>new scent filled his nostrils.  This too smelled of flowers, but it was
>>not the framiliar scent Salma wore.  Through the fog of his brain, he
>>tried to place where he had smelled this before.
>>
>>"I'm glad you two are alright," Alice spoke quietly.  "I can't believe
>>this.  Do you need anything?"
>>
>>"Thank you, but we're okay," Salma said warmly.
>>
>>"Pete phoned me this morning-"
>>
>>"Sheriff Jenkins?  Why?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>Alice didn't respond.
>>
>>Waiting for an answer, Ayden finally recognized the flower scent that
>>had lingered in the closet where he and Salma had found bed linens.
>>
>>"Alice, did you visit the house after we left you yesterday?"
>>
>>Alice made a suppressed-sounding noise.  She never answered and before
>>Ayden could ask anything else, her muffled footsteps padded on the grass
>>as she walked briskly away.
>>
>>"Ayden?" Salma puzzled.
>>
>>"Her perfume, it's the same smell I noticed in the closet last night."
>>
>>"Ayden, that's where I found the letter too," Salma whispered.
>>
>>Ayden heard the swish of grass as someone else walked towards them.  It
>>was His father, Nick.
>>
>>"Are you crazy?" Nick asked, bewildered.
>>
>>"I'm fine.  Nice to see you too, Dad."
>>
>>Nick let out a long breath before saying, "Your mother and I went crazy
>>when we heard what happened.  We're glad you're okay."
>>
>>"Is the house ruined?" Ayden asked.
>>
>>Salma shifted and sat upright next to Ayden.
>>
>>"It's mostly the garden that was ruined, but there is damage to the
>>house."
>>
>>Ayden felt his chest tighten.  The garden had been His grandmother's
>>favorite place.  Ayden remembered playing among the walk-ways and tall
>>bushes as she tended to her beloved flowers.  Interrupting his thoughts,
>>he heard a shuffling footstep approach.  Another memory pushed itself
>>front and center in his mind.  As Sheriff Jenkins stopped his pace,
>>Ayden gave a hard look in the direction of the noise.
>>
>>"Tom says it will take a few weeks to get reports back, but there is
>>some structural damage to the house, Nick," the sheriff said.
>>
>>"Taken any midnight strolls to clear your mind lately?" Ayden directed
>>to Sheriff Jenkins.
>>
>>No one spoke.  Salma gripped his hand.
>>
>>"Any reason why you'd call Alice Madison early this morning?" Ayden
>>asked.
>>
>>"Drop it," Nick hissed.
>>
>>Thrown off by his father's tone, Ayden squeezed Salma's hand, unsure
>>what to do.
>>
>>"I'm sure we're all tired and need to collect our thoughts," Sheriff
>>Jenkins said.  "Maybe you ought to take these two home, Nick."  He
>>shuffled off.
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>
>>Ayden sat in front of the computer.  A humming buzz issued from the
>>speakers as Ayden worked.
>>
>>"Still working?" Salma asked from behind.
>>
>>Ayden leaned his head back against her stomach.  She was wrapped in a
>>large soft towel.  Remembering last night, he slipped his hand through
>>the folds, but she turned swiftly away, laughing.
>>
>>It had not been the first night one of them slept over at the other's
>>apartment, but it had been their first time together.  Excitement had
>>rushed over Ayden, but it had not felt awkward.
>>
>>Salma spewed a torrent of Spanish at him, and he chuckled.  "That just
>>turns me on more."
>>
>>"I called you a great big moron whose brain is tiny like his-"
>>
>>"Doesn't matter.  Still sounds sexy."
>>
>>Salma whipped another towel at him before scampering to the bedroom.
>>Turning back to his work, Ayden decided to check his email.
>>
>>As he clicked on the necessary links using Hotkey commands, he thought
>>over the past few weeks.
>>
>>Ayden had told his father what happened, but Nick said that everything
>>was circumstantial.  Ayden knew this, but he also knew he had opened
>>something up.  Something that had been meant to remain secret.  Nick
>>refused to open any investigation and he remained tight-lipped.
>>
>>The fire was officially reported as an unknown accident since no
>>evidence, either way, had been found determining a cause.  This, at
>>least, was how the police report read.  Ayden, though, had inquired into
>>the fire-chief's report.  It too was inconclusive, but this report did
>>mention that a match book had been found near the premises.  Salma had
>>advised him to wait before attempting any further investigation.  She
>>was worried about him.  Unsure if the fire had been an accident or not,
>>he agreed with her.
>>
>>She had been the reason he was able to let the weeks slip by without
>>searching for more clues.  Once they had returned to the city a couple
>>of days after the fire, Ayden had found the courage to express his
>>budding feelings towards her.
>>
>>They had sat on the couch talking; a typical Friday night for them,
>>except this time Ayden could feel a growing anticipation between them.
>>
>>Salma had stood to get another beer from the kitchen when Ayden reached
>>for her wrist.  His large palm had felt bigger next to her slim wrist.
>>Both had stared silently at one another.  Ayden, thinking he would win
>>this game since he couldn't see, broke first.  Grinning with a smirk, he
>>had pulled Salma to him and kissed her.
>>
>>Weeks later, their routine was continued as normal, yet something was
>>different.  They had transitioned into this new element with ease, as
>>though it were meant to be.  Their friendship was strengthened by the
>>new romance.
>>
>>Still reminiscing, Ayden did not recognize the name given for the first
>>email he came across.  Opening it up, he read the following:
>>
>>I'm glad you have stopped your investigation.  It is best to let the
>>dead rest.  Enjoy your new love and look only towards the future.
>>
>>There was no signature.  Alarmed, Ayden checked the From field, but the
>>only information this provided was  <mailto:aconcernedfriend at gmail.com.>
>>aconcernedfriend at gmail.com.
>>
>>Ayden's pulse quickened.  Hearing Salma pad lightly back into the room,
>>he closed the window he was in.  He thought it was best to not alarm her
>>just yet.
>>
>>"Wann' stay here again tonight?" he asked.
>>
>>"You know, we live across the hall from one another.  Should we just
>>make this permanent?"
>>
>>"Sure you can live with a guy?"
>>
>>"Well, I guess if it's you I can."
>>
>>He lunged for her, but she ran giggling across the room.
>>
>>"This is the great thing about dating a blind guy, he can't catch me."
>>
>>"Oh yeah?"
>>
>>Salma shrieked as he flung his body across her path, blocking her dash
>>to the bedroom.  Holding Salma close against him, wrapping her in a bear
>>hug, Ayden knew this was just the beginning.
>>
>>_______________________________________________
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>>
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>>
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>
>
> Brad Dunse
>
> Tell me, and I'll forget. Show me, and I'll remember. Involve me, and I'll 
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>
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