[stylist] detective short revision

[BDM]

Thanks Judith,

Brad

At 12:24 PM 10/22/2010, you wrote:
>Brad, When I write I do it both ways.  Some of my conclusions just 
>happen, others are planned and worked out.  I don't know how Bridget 
>does it, but I can't make a blanket statement.  Judith
>----- Original Message ----- From: "BDM" <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
>To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>Sent: Friday, October 22, 2010 1:06 PM
>Subject: Re: [stylist] detective short revision
>
>
>>Glad you are working on this. I like the subtle changes and 
>>embellishments. I've a question for you. At  this point, do you 
>>know in your mind how the mystery  plays out, who done it, and the 
>>little twists and details? Or when you write, are you making it up 
>>as you go. I've heard authors promote both ways. Just curious on 
>>your method and not a spoiling of the story, which I hope to read 
>>at a later date.
>>
>>Brad
>>
>>At 11:15 AM 10/22/2010, you wrote:
>>>Hey guys,
>>>
>>>Since I shared the first draft with you lot, I thought I would share my
>>>revision.  Again, I am not a detective fiction writer, nor do I wish to
>>>be, but after your comments and my class workshop, I have made some
>>>changes.
>>>
>>>My fiction, unfortunately, is not as good as my nonfiction, but I do
>>>like my two main characters.  I would like to continue something with
>>>them.
>>>
>>>Enjoy!
>>>
>>>Bridgit
>>>
>>>Sense of Murder
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden sat in his father's leather wingback chair rolling a large key
>>>between his fingers.  The metal key had been cold, but now was warmed by
>>>his hands.  He gripped the key in his palm and rubbed a thumb across the
>>>rough , rusty surface.  A few weeks ago, Ayden had merely been
>>>researching the mysterious death of his grandfather for a book he was
>>>writing.  Now, he sat among items wondering if his grandfather had been
>>>murdered.
>>>
>>>Ayden's father had found Ayden's grandfather lying at the bottom of the
>>>staircase in his home.  His father never spoke about the incident after
>>>reporting it to the police.  His father was allowing Ayden and Salma to
>>>search through any items he kept though.
>>>
>>>For years there had been whispers of foul play, but no one ever spoke
>>>about the rumors.  The official ruling was that Henry Templeton, Ayden's
>>>grandfather, had accidently fallen down the stairs.  Other than the
>>>vicious gossip, there didn't seem to be any reason to think otherwise
>>>until Ayden began researching his grandfather's life.  A few weeks of
>>>poking around Henry Templeton's past, Ayden received a mysterious email.
>>>
>>>  Your journey has just begun, but it is advisable that you stop your
>>>investigation immediately.  Heartache and harm can only befall you
>>>
>>>  Alarmed, but intrigued, Ayden picked up his research with new fervor.
>>>Now he and his friend and neighbor, Salma, sat in his father's large
>>>office surrounded by books and papers searching for clues that may
>>>indicate a reason why his grandfather would have been murdered.
>>>
>>>"So what's next?" Salma asked.
>>>
>>>Tapping the key in his palm, Ayden said, "I'm not sure.  This letter
>>>says a lot."
>>>
>>>Ayden closed his eyes thinking on this letter.  It was evidence, even if
>>>circumstantial, that suggested, if his grandmother knew about it, she
>>>could have killed Henry.
>>>
>>>People had said his grandmother, Lucy, had been distracted and irritable
>>>a couple of weeks before his grandfather's death.  When his father found
>>>Henry at the bottom of the stairs, the only other person present had
>>>been his grandmother.  Stunned by the event, his father had placed Lucy
>>>in a nursing home.
>>>
>>>There was a pause then paper crackled before Salma spoke.  "It's pretty
>>>clear from this letter that your grandfather was having an affair.  I
>>>wonder if we can figure out these initials, A. W."
>>>
>>>Ayden shut his eyes again, thinking, trying to remember anyone he had
>>>ever met with A. W. for initials.  "I don't know," he sighed.
>>>
>>>As Ayden and Salma leafed through pictures and notes, they had found an
>>>old copy of Wuthering Heights.
>>>
>>>Ayden remembered the year his grandfather had given the third edition
>>>book to his grandmother for Christmas.  His grandmother had sat
>>>unwrapping the gift, then exclaimed, "Oh," before looking up with tears
>>>in her eyes.  Wuthering Heights had always been her favorite novel.
>>>Lucy had been the one person to encourage Ayden to follow his dream and
>>>take up writing instead of joining the family law firm.  "You're meant
>>>to follow your own path," Lucy had told Ayden once.
>>>
>>>After an accident had left Ayden blind, his father had refused to
>>>believe Ayden could handle the work of a litigator, but Lucy had never
>>>doubted his ability to do anything.
>>>
>>>Now, Ayden and Salma found a letter enclosed in the pages of the book; a
>>>letter suggesting a secret Ayden never knew about.
>>>
>>>Ayden touched the thick, but stiff piece of paper and held it out to
>>>Salma to inspect.  She told him the letter appeared old, but not as old
>>>as the book.  A few of the torn edges of the letter were turning yellow.
>>>The letter was simple as she read:
>>>
>>>Henry, my love,
>>>
>>>I can not wait to see you again.  I hoped and when I saw you coming down
>>>the road, my heart leaped.  I still feel your touch.  How much longer
>>>must we wait?  Please, my darling, give me what I ask before it is too
>>>late.
>>>
>>>Love, A. W.
>>>
>>>When Ayden's father found Henry's body, Lucy had gone wild, screaming,
>>>unable to leave Henry's lifeless body.
>>>
>>>Gossips spread the news, sweeping far and wide.  Lucy was crazy, they
>>>said.  She went mad, she killed her husband.  It was juicy, just what a
>>>small town needed.
>>>
>>>The police never looked into the possibility, but Lucy died with a black
>>>mark attached to her memory.
>>>
>>>Ayden never believed that his grandmother would hurt anyone.  She had
>>>been fond of Ayden, and she never treated him like his life was over
>>>after the accident.
>>>
>>>"What now?  Where do we go next?" Salma asked.
>>>
>>>Ayden held the rusted, copper key up in front of him.  "We visit the old
>>>Templeton mansion."
>>>
>>>The Templeton mansion was the Victorian home his grandparents had lived
>>>in.  The family still owned it, but it had sat empty for years.  Ayden
>>>thought that maybe more secrets were hidden within the walls of the
>>>Templeton house, eager to be discovered.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden sat in the car as Salma drove.  Neither spoke as Ayden's fingers
>>>slid across the pages on his lap.  Reading his Braille notes, Ayden
>>>wondered where to start once they reached the small town where his
>>>grandparents and father had grown up.
>>>
>>>His grandfather had started a small law firm in town, but eventually it
>>>grew.  His grandparents had moved when Ayden's father, Nick, had been
>>>ten.
>>>
>>>Nick never spoke about his childhood though.  Ayden really didn't know
>>>much about his family's past.  His grandparents had moved back to their
>>>old house once Nick took the firm over, but Ayden had rarely visited the
>>>home.  After his grandfather had died, Lucy, unable to cope with his
>>>death, had moved into an upscale nursing home in the City, and Nick left
>>>the house untouched.
>>>
>>>As the car slowed, Ayden looked up at Salma.  "Are we there?"
>>>
>>>"Yes.  What's our first stop?"
>>>
>>>"I'm  figuring this out as we go along.  I guess the police station."
>>>
>>>Salma was silent before saying, "You okay?  I know your dad wasn't happy
>>>when you asked about the letter."
>>>
>>>He remembered how Nick had gone quiet and cold before telling him ,
>>>"Leave it alone.  We don't dig up family history."
>>>
>>>Ayden had tried to coax him to say more, but the subject was closed.
>>>
>>>"Yeah.  I wish he would have told us more.  Explained something," Ayden
>>>said.
>>>
>>>"Maybe he just wants to keep your family secrets, well, secret.  Some
>>>people don't like giving out info about anything."
>>>
>>>"I just feel like he knows more than he's letting on."
>>>
>>>"We'll find something.  Don't worry."
>>>
>>>Salma was always reassuring Ayden.  She had become a constant in his
>>>life.  The only real constant he had.  She had shown up one day,
>>>knocking on his door, holding a dish in her hands, offering Ayden some
>>>home made enchiladas.  That had been the beginning of their friendship.
>>>They had spent many nights talking until three in the morning and
>>>hanging out on weekends.  Salma was the one true connection Ayden had to
>>>the outside world.
>>>
>>>Ayden never felt like he fit in his family's world of snobbish dinner
>>>parties, elite country clubs and preferential treatment at most Ivy
>>>League universities.  After graduating from college, His father had told
>>>him, "No one will ever respect a blind man in the courtroom.  Maybe the
>>>firm can bring you on as a researcher."  Ayden was tired of his father's
>>>attitude so he took a job writing for a small magazine and left the
>>>family home.
>>>
>>>Once moving away, he had become a recluse of sorts.  He showed up to the
>>>office for work, attended cocktail parties required for work and even
>>>dated a couple of girls, but Salma was the one person he truly felt
>>>comfortable with.  Her infectious way of always looking at things
>>>positively seemed like a novelty to Ayden.  She could always make him
>>>smile.  When he began writing the book about Henry, Salma had offered to
>>>assist in anyway she could.
>>>
>>>"I'm really glad you're here," Ayden said.
>>>
>>>"Yeah, yeah.  I'm waiting for my pay check.  My services don't come
>>>free."  Salma giggled as she pulled into a parking stall.  "I think
>>>we're here."
>>>
>>>"Thanks, again, for taking the day off to help."
>>>
>>>"Hey, I know you'd help me with stuff.  It's all so interesting; way
>>>more interesting than filling in for waiters who don't show up for
>>>work."
>>>
>>>"You aren't at work, who's filling in for you?" Ayden said grinning at
>>>her.
>>>
>>>Salma smacked his arm.  "That's the benefit of being the owner's
>>>daughter."
>>>
>>>While Salma dropped coins into the parking meter, Ayden tapped his cane
>>>along the brick walls looking for the door.  Hearing the difference from
>>>the cane tip tapping on brick to the clink of glass, he figured he found
>>>the door.
>>>
>>>"No Braille, is this it?" he shouted back to Salma.
>>>
>>>"Yes," she answered rushing to catch up.
>>>
>>>They entered the quiet, almost lazy-like atmosphere of the police
>>>station.  Ayden moved towards the sound of  clacking as some one pressed
>>>keys on a computer keyboard with a practiced efficiency.  This, he
>>>thought, must be a reception desk.
>>>
>>>Stepping up to a smooth feeling counter, Ayden said, "Excuse me."
>>>
>>>"Can I help you?" a woman's bored voice said.
>>>
>>>"We were wondering if we can speak to some one who worked the Henry
>>>Templeton case," Ayden said.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>The woman stopped typing and a long silence followed.  "Who's  asking?"
>>>
>>>"I'm Ayden Templeton, Henry's grandson."
>>>
>>>"One minute."  A chair creaked as the woman stood.  Her shoes clicked on
>>>the linoleum floor as she walked away.
>>>
>>>Salma touched Ayden's arm.  "She had a weird look when you mentioned
>>>your grandpa's name."
>>>
>>>As the receptionist returned, another footstep joined hers, but this
>>>person shuffled slightly.
>>>
>>>The person shuffled towards Salma, saying, "Hello.  I'm Sheriff Jenkins.
>>>How can I help you?"
>>>
>>>Ayden stepped closer towards Salma, extending his arm to Sheriff
>>>Jenkins.  "I'm Ayden Templeton and this is Salma Juarez.  We have some
>>>questions about my grandfather's death."
>>>
>>>There was a pause before Sheriff Jenkins shook Ayden's hand.  "Step into
>>>my office please."
>>>
>>>Ayden followed the sheriff into a room off the main section of the
>>>department.  His cane swep the inside of the door frame, indicating the
>>>width so Ayden avoided bumping into the edges of the frame.  Ayden asked
>>>where a chair was and turned in the direction Captain Jenkins indicated.
>>>Finding the chair with his cane, he felt Salma's arm brush his as she
>>>sat next to him.
>>>
>>>"Can I get you anything?" Sheriff Jenkins asked.
>>>
>>>"No, but thank you.  Salma?"
>>>
>>>"I'm good," Salma replied.
>>>
>>>Ayden felt a tension fill the room as the three sat there, not speaking.
>>>Sheriff Jenkins began tapping the edge of the metal table in the
>>>interrogation room.  Ayden twisted his cane between his fingers.  Salma
>>>bobbed her foot which was lightly kicking Ayden's shin.
>>>
>>>"We're hoping to learn as much as we can about Henry Templeton's death.
>>>I'm researching the story for a novel I'm working on," Ayden started.
>>>
>>>"I worked the case.  There's not much to tell," Sheriff Jenkins said.
>>>
>>>"I know you eventually reported it as an accidental death, but was there
>>>ever any evidence suggesting otherwise?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"No.  We questioned friends and family and there was no reason to
>>>believe Henry Templeton was murdered," Sheriff Jenkins said with an edge
>>>to his tone.
>>>
>>>Ayden shifted his head towards Salma.  Even though he had been blind for
>>>seven-years, Ayden still used visual gestures and body movement.  "I
>>>know there was-uh-speculation that maybe my grandmother did it."
>>>
>>>"Lucy Baldwin?  She never hurt anyone.  We were all shocked when she
>>>married Henry.  She could have had anyone she wanted."
>>>
>>>Ayden leaned against the table looking straight in the direction where
>>>Sheriff Jenkins sat.  "I thought Henry was a catch?  Wouldn't most have
>>>jumped at the chance to marry into the Templeton family?  You know, a
>>>lawyer from a wealthy family and all that."
>>>
>>>"He was a playboy.  Always was, never changed."
>>>
>>>"Who did you question about his death?" Salma broke in.
>>>
>>>The sheriff's chair creaked as he leaned back.  "Well, of course Lucy
>>>and her boy Nick.  They were there.  Found his body and all."
>>>
>>>Ayden shot the sheriff a questioning glance.  He was talking like he had
>>>forgot who Ayden was.
>>>
>>>"Then there was Zelda, the housekeeper, and Avery Mayer, he came around
>>>about once a week to help Lucy with the lawn.  She loved her garden.
>>>Her roses won prizes around here," Sheriff Jenkins continued.
>>>
>>>"Anyone else?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"Oh, his work associates, but Henry was retired so they didn't see much
>>>of him anymore.  Alice Madison , she had been his personal secretary for
>>>years.  She still did stuff part-time for Henry."
>>>
>>>Ayden had pulled out a three-by-five plastic device that had six rows of
>>>cells containing three holes on each side of the cells.  A pop-pop-pop
>>>sound was made as Ayden poked a pointed awl-like object called a stylus
>>>through the holes as he took Braille notes.  "Are any of these people
>>>still around?"
>>>
>>>"Not everyone had the same opportunities as the Templeton's to leave
>>>town.  Other than Henry's work associates, I think most of them still
>>>live around here.  At least the one's who are still alive."
>>>
>>>"Is there anything else you can tell us?  Was there anything strange you
>>>noticed?  Any evidence that suggest something other than an accidental
>>>tumble down the stairs?"
>>>
>>>The sheriff laughed.  "I know you city folk like to dream up seedy
>>>happenings in small towns, but Henry Templeton's death was nothing more
>>>than an accident.  Nothing dark about it."
>>>
>>>"Thank you for your time," Ayden said extending his hand again to shake
>>>Sheriff Jenkins's.
>>>
>>>Sheriff Jenkins sighed.  "Look, don't go digging anything up.  Just let
>>>the dead rest."
>>>
>>>Salma's bracelet tinkled as they stood.
>>>
>>>"We understand.  I'm just trying to find things out about my grandfather
>>>for the book.  You know, no stone uncovered," Ayden said.
>>>
>>>"Are you two married?" Sheriff Jenkins asked.
>>>
>>>Ayden, confused by the switch, replied, "No."
>>>
>>>The sheriff chuckled.  "Like your grandpa, I see."
>>>
>>>Ayden blushed, but Salma said, "Ayden is nothing but a gentleman.
>>>Clearly something he did not pick up in this town."
>>>
>>>"I know the kind of men the Templeton's are," the sheriff said.
>>>
>>>Unsure of what to do, Ayden turned to leave.
>>>
>>>"At least he has a better chance of touching what you have been admiring
>>>this whole time," Salma snapped.  She turned quickly, fluttering Ayden's
>>>collar up as she rushed past.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Back in the car, he said, "I'm sorry.  I didn't know what to say."
>>>
>>>"It's okay.  He was a pig."
>>>
>>>"I didn't realize-"
>>>
>>>"I know, its okay.  Where to next?"
>>>
>>>He could tell Salma was upset, but he left it alone.  "The house, I
>>>guess."
>>>
>>>As the car backed out into the silent street, Ayden wondered why she had
>>>told Sheriff Jenkins what she had.  Was it simply said in a moment of
>>>anger, or was there any truth in her words, he thought.  He has a better
>>>chance of touching what you have been admiring.  Ayden smiled as he
>>>thought of the possibilities with Salma.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden stood before the house remembering the bright blue it had been
>>>during the few visits he had made during his childhood.  The house had
>>>always stood out even among the street full of bright, cheery houses
>>>complete with emerald lawns and award winning gardens.  The Templeton
>>>house had a wrap-around porch with a veranda to the back opening onto a
>>>large lawn complete with a British garden.  Its three stories reaching
>>>majestically towards the sky.
>>>
>>>Ayden now gripped the rough, wooden railing of the house.  The feel of
>>>the railing did not match his memory of the sleek, smooth dark wooden
>>>banister.  The stairs creaked as he stepped on them.  Reaching the
>>>porch, he felt a slight dip and quickly stepped sideways in fear of
>>>falling through the porch.  Children played nearby and cars languidly
>>>drove down the street, but a strange silence surrounded the house.  It
>>>was as though Ayden were underneath water trying to make out the distant
>>>sounds.  The scent of jasmine passed briefly through his nose as Salma
>>>stood next to him.
>>>
>>>"How does it look?" Ayden asked ignoring the scent.
>>>
>>>Salma took a deep breath.  "It's run down, that's for sure.  I can't
>>>believe no one has lived here for years."
>>>
>>>"My family still owns it, but after my grandfather's death, no one
>>>wanted to do anything about it."
>>>
>>>"So sad," Salma said quietly.
>>>
>>>Ayden placed his hand on the cold knob of the dilapidated Victorian
>>>house.  He dug in his pockets for the rusty key he had found in his
>>>father's office.  As he inserted the heavy key in the lock, a quiet
>>>click was heard.  Ayden pushed the solid door open.  He looked in
>>>Salma's direction before stepping inside.  Shutting the door, the house
>>>engulfed all sound like a tomb.
>>>
>>>"Creepy," Salma said as she shivered.
>>>
>>>Ayden walked forward tapping his long white cane, arcing wide so as to
>>>not run into anything.  Dust filled the air and Ayden coughed as he
>>>inhaled.
>>>
>>>"This has been sitting for years," Ayden rasped.  "What's it look like?"
>>>
>>>"It's really dark, but it's almost completely empty.  What do you think
>>>you'll find?"
>>>
>>>"I'm not sure.  Sheriff Jenkins wasn't much help.  I just thought, maybe
>>>something."
>>>
>>>Salma's sandals clipped-clopped as she walked over to a window to open
>>>it.  "Well, if we are going to be here long we need fresh air."
>>>
>>>Ayden felt a rush of summer breeze as the window clambered up.  The
>>>sound of kids playing ruined the house's stolid silence.  Life entered
>>>the house again as Ayden began to feel around searching for any clue.
>>>
>>>Ayden moved from room to room feeling walls and any remaining furniture,
>>>hoping to find something, anything.  Making his progression from room to
>>>room on the main floor, he heard Salma's muffled footsteps overhead.  He
>>>smiled to himself as He rifled through drawers and cupboards.  So far
>>>his hands had only found dust and cobwebs.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>"Ayden, Ayden!" Salma shouted a couple of hours later.
>>>
>>>Ayden hurried towards the staircase where Salma's voice echoed from.
>>>"Salma!  Are you okay?"
>>>
>>>"Get up here!  I found something!"
>>>
>>>Ayden clambered up the grand staircase.  Reaching the second floor, he
>>>shouted, "What room?"
>>>
>>>"Um, it's a bedroom."
>>>
>>>He rolled his eyes.  "Right."  Hearing her voice off to his left, Ayden
>>>moved down the hallway.  At the end, he found a door open.
>>>
>>>"Salma?"
>>>
>>>Salma's clapping sandals moved towards him.
>>>
>>>"Look at this," she said excitedly.  Her bracelet tinkled and paper
>>>crackled as she shoved something in Ayden's hand.
>>>
>>>Ayden grinned.  "Um."  He handed the paper back to Salma.
>>>
>>>"Oh-sorry.  I just-you won't believe this."
>>>
>>>It was another letter; a love letter to Henry.
>>>
>>>Henry, My love,
>>>
>>>I miss you.  I grow restless with each day.  I have waited years to be
>>>with you, really be with you.  Let's stop the pretending, stop the lies.
>>>Don't be mad with me.  I would do anything for you, but we must stop
>>>hiding.  There is no harm in this.  I will wait to hear from you, but
>>>don't take long.  If you don't choose me, I will marry Tom Madison.
>>>
>>>Love,
>>>
>>>A.     W.
>>>
>>>Salma rushed through the letter almost in one breath.  Ayden was not
>>>quite sure what her excitement was for.
>>>
>>>"We already know Henry was having an affair of sorts," he said.
>>>
>>>Salma sighed impatiently.  "Ayden, think about it.  Don't you see?"
>>>
>>>"Not really," he said slowly.
>>>
>>>She grabbed his wrist.  Her slender fingers gripped him with a strength
>>>Ayden would not have guessed at.  She moved in closer and once again,
>>>Ayden took in the scent of jasmine.  This time he smelled something else
>>>with it.  Vanilla, he thought.  Salma shook his arm slightly, her
>>>tinkling crystal bracelet grazing his wrist,  bringing him back to
>>>attention.
>>>
>>>"Ayden, A. W.  Don't you see it yet?"
>>>
>>>"A. W.?"
>>>
>>>"The initials," she said exasperated, "A. W.  It's Alice Madison."
>>>
>>>"Who's Alice Madison?"
>>>
>>>Salma smacked her forehead.  "Ay-where are your notes from today?"
>>>
>>>Ayden pulled out the three-by-five note card from his back pocket.
>>>
>>>"Now read through it," Salma said as though talking to a small child.
>>>
>>>A second passed and Half way through his notes, Ayden stopped and looked
>>>sharply up at Salma.
>>>
>>>"See?" Salma asked.
>>>
>>>"You think A. W. and Alice Madison are the same person?"
>>>
>>>"It fits."
>>>
>>>"Henry's secretary.  And Sheriff Jenkins said she's still living in
>>>town.  She must have married this Madison guy."
>>>
>>>"Think we can find her?"
>>>
>>>"Give me a minute," Ayden said reaching for his mobile phone tucked away
>>>in his pocket.  An electronic voice hummed from his phone as he
>>>maneuvered through the menus.
>>>
>>>"Got it.  There's only one Alice Madison that shows up in town."
>>>
>>>"Thank God for technology," Salma said.  "No wonder no one could ever
>>>solve this case."
>>>
>>>Ayden smirked at her.  "Thank God for accessible technology.  Come on.
>>>She doesn't live far from here and it's not too late."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ten minutes later, they knocked on Alice Madison's door.  Salma
>>>described the house's well-kempt lawn and green exterior.  She said that
>>>flower boxes lined the windows and white shutters hung from the upstair
>>>windows.
>>>
>>>The door opened and a woman's voice gasped, "Oh."
>>>
>>>"Mrs. Madison?  I'm Ayden-"
>>>
>>>"Templeton," she said.  "You look like Henry."
>>>
>>>Smiling, Ayden said, "Mrs. Madison, this is my friend Salma.  We're
>>>working on a book about my grandfather, and we would like to ask you
>>>some questions."
>>>
>>>"Oh, of course.  Come in, come in."
>>>
>>>As the door shut behind Ayden and Salma, he smelled a flower scent that
>>>he couldn't place and a clock ticked nearby.  Alice Madison ushered them
>>>into a sitting room off the entryway.  Salma sat next to Ayden on the
>>>soft couch while Alice sat across from them.
>>>
>>>"Can I offer you anything?  I just made lemonade."
>>>
>>>"That would be wonderful," Salma said.
>>>
>>>As Alice left the room, Ayden turned towards Salma.  "I'm sorry, I
>>>didn't even think to ask if you were hungry."
>>>
>>>"Hon, it's okay.  I didn't think about it myself until now."
>>>
>>>"We'll have dinner after this; I promise."
>>>
>>>"Promise?"
>>>
>>>Ayden grinned as Alice returned.  She placed an ice-cold glass in
>>>Ayden's hand.  Ice chinked against the side as he took a gulp.  The cold
>>>liquid felt good down his throat after the dust of the Templeton house.
>>>He could only imagine how dirty he and Salma looked.  He felt the
>>>mingled grime of sweat and dirt on his body.  Why had it not occurred to
>>>them to stop somewhere first and wash up, Ayden thought.
>>>
>>>"So, what can I help you with?  Henry was a dear friend and I miss him.
>>>You must call me Alice."
>>>
>>>"Well, Alice, we specifically are interested in his death," Ayden said.
>>>
>>>Alice coughed as she choked on her lemonade.  "Why would you be
>>>interested in that?"
>>>
>>>"I believe that maybe his death wasn't accidental."
>>>
>>>"Oh dear, don't buy into those silly rumors.  Pete Jenkins conducted a
>>>thorough investigation and no foul play was to be hinted at."
>>>
>>>"And yet the rumors persist," Ayden said.
>>>
>>>"Silly gossip.  Housewives bored out of there minds."
>>>
>>>"You know Sheriff Jenkins?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"Darling, it's a small town; everybody knows everybody."
>>>
>>>Ayden sipped on his lemonade as Salma clicked her nails against the side
>>>of her glass.
>>>
>>>"We have reason to believe maybe there is more to the story," Ayden
>>>said.  He affected his best courtroom demeanor.  He had observed his
>>>father like this hundreds of times.
>>>
>>>Alice swirled ice chuncks around in her glass.  Her voice had lost some
>>>of its cheeriness when she responded by asking, "What makes you say
>>>that?"
>>>
>>>He found the love letter in a folder.  Removing the Braille label, he
>>>set it on the coffee table dividing them from Alice.  "Did you write
>>>this?"
>>>
>>>The letter rustled as Alice picked it up.  When she spoke, her voice
>>>sounded strained as though she were holding back tears.
>>>
>>>"Where did you find this?"
>>>
>>>"It was in some old boxes in the Templeton home," Salma said.
>>>
>>>A long silence followed in which Ayden heard Alice sniffling.
>>>
>>>"I suppose the truth has to come out sooner or later," Alice said
>>>quietly.
>>>
>>>"We don't need-a-details of anything, but is there any reason to think
>>>Henry was killed?" Ayden soothed.
>>>
>>>"Your grandfather hired me when I was eighteen," Alice began, ignoring
>>>him.  "I instantly fell in love with him, but he was that type.
>>>Dashingly handsome, charming to a fault.  He was a few years older than
>>>me, but I knew how all the girls waited for their chance to rope Henry
>>>into marriage.  I felt so lucky to see him everyday.  I started out as a
>>>simple receptionist, but eventually he promoted me to his personal
>>>secretary."
>>>
>>>"Did you move with my grandparents then, when they moved?" he asked.
>>>
>>>Alice sighed.  "Yes, but after-things happened-I moved back.  I remained
>>>in his employ, working from the office here in town.  Before your father
>>>took charge, Henry's headquarters had always been based from here."
>>>
>>>Ayden nodded his head.
>>>
>>>"I never meant to hurt anyone.  Things happened.  Henry loved us both,
>>>Lucy and I.  I tried to end it for years, but Henry always showed up
>>>with that smile of his.  Then I tried to make him choose.  I should've
>>>known better, but I was in love."
>>>
>>>Alice spilled her story, hoping for redemption perhaps.
>>>
>>>"The final straw came right before his death.  We had carried on for
>>>almost forty-years and I knew it had to stop.  We fought.  I threatened
>>>to tell Lucy and that was that.  He left me promising to choose.  I
>>>waited for an answer, but a week later, Henry was found dead."
>>>
>>>"Did you ever tell anyone?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"No."
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden and Salma stood by the car outside Alice's house.  A breeze
>>>tousled Ayden's hair and Salma gently combed her fingers through his
>>>dark tresses.
>>>
>>>"Seems like all you Templeton men are irresistible," she said teasingly.
>>>
>>>Unsure of how to respond to her comment, he grinned, but before he could
>>>make a remark, her car door clicked open.  He slid into the passenger
>>>seat, heart pounding.
>>>
>>>"You promised me dinner," Salma whined playfully.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Munching on diner-style hamburgers and fries, they took the opportunity
>>>to relax.
>>>
>>>"How come you didn't visit your grandparents much?" Salma asked.
>>>
>>>"Not sure.  Mom and Dad were always busy.  Usually just my sister and I
>>>came."
>>>
>>>"Did you ever notice anything between them then?"
>>>
>>>"No, but I was a kid."
>>>
>>>"What about when you were older?"
>>>
>>>"Naw, I was busy then too.  After the accident, though, I spent more
>>>time with my grandma.  She was the only one who treated me like me
>>>still, but she died shortly after that."
>>>
>>>"I wish I could have met her."
>>>
>>>"She would have liked you."
>>>
>>>"I always hated seeing my family all the time, but now I'm glad we're so
>>>close."
>>>
>>>"Hey, let's walk around town."  Ayden slid out of the vinyl booth and
>>>paid at the register.
>>>
>>>Meeting Salma out by the car, they moved towards the downtown area.
>>>Salma kept up with Ayden's stride as his cane tapped from side-to-side.
>>>
>>>"Sometimes I think it would be nice to live in a small town," she mused.
>>>
>>>"Really, you?  Ms. Have-to-go-shopping-every-other-day," he joked.
>>>
>>>"I could drive to the city.  I don't know.  It seems like a nice place
>>>to raise a family."
>>>
>>>Ayden had never heard Salma speak about wanting kids.  As well as he
>>>knew her, he realized there was plenty he still had to learn.
>>>
>>>"Yes, we could raise happy little kids who will grow up to cheat, lie
>>>and murder," he scoffed.
>>>
>>>"We, huh?"
>>>
>>>Ayden blushed, feeling the heat creep up his neck to his face.  He
>>>hadn't caught his blunder.  He sputtered, but before he could make sense
>>>of his words, Salma grabbed his hand.
>>>
>>>"Maybe we can live in the Templeton mansion," she said.
>>>
>>>They walked silently back to the car hand-in-hand.
>>>
>>>"It's pretty late, what should we do?" Salma asked.
>>>
>>>Ayden flipped the crystal face of his watch up.  Feeling the raised dots
>>>and arrows, he said, "It's a quarter to eleven.  I'm beat."
>>>
>>>"Me too.  I don't really feel like driving back tonight though."
>>>
>>>He scratched his head.  "I guess we can stay at casa-de-Templeton."
>>>
>>>"Okay, but no funny business," Salma joked.
>>>
>>>Sitting in the car, Ayden said, "By the way, unlike some men in my
>>>family, I'm more of a one-woman type."
>>>
>>>"Good to know."  Salma kissed his cheek.
>>>
>>>Ayden laced his fingers through hers.
>>>
>>>"I was wondering when you would make a move," she said.
>>>
>>>Ayden reached for her face and leaned in to kiss her.  Her lips were
>>>smooth and tasted of cherry.  Salma placed her hand on his face as they
>>>held this pose for a minute.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Back at the Templeton house, they stood on either side of the king-size
>>>bed in the master bedroom.
>>>
>>>"Sure you don't want to sleep in another room?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"Hell no!  This house is creepy."
>>>
>>>"I thought you wanted to raise children here?"
>>>
>>>"Shut-up.  Scared to sleep with a girl?"  The bed creaked as Salma lay
>>>down on it.  "A bit musty."
>>>
>>>They had found spare bed linens in a box and had attempted to shake them
>>>out as best they could.  Ayden had noticed a lingering wispy scent of
>>>flowers that he could not place.  It may have been the remnants of
>>>something used to launder the linens years ago, he had thought.
>>>
>>>Without thinking, he removed his shirt and handed it to Salma.  "Here.
>>>You can wrap your pillow in it."
>>>
>>>"Thanks," Salma said drawing the word out.
>>>
>>>Realizing what he had done, he blushed for the millionth time that day.
>>>Not able to turn back what he had done, Ayden lay slowly down, sticking
>>>close to the edge.
>>>
>>>"Keep your hands above the blankets," she yawned.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden woke disoriented at first, but comprehension quickly dawned as he
>>>felt Salma's small body nestled against his.  She snored quietly and
>>>Ayden smiled.  This was nice, he thought.  He extracted himself gently
>>>from the bed, trying to not wake Salma.
>>>
>>>He needed to use the bathroom, but it struck him that the bathrooms
>>>would not be in working order.  It was primitive, but it would have to
>>>do, he thought as he found his way downstairs and out into the back
>>>garden.  Hoping no neighbors were awake to see him, he relieved himself.
>>>
>>>Half asleep still, his eyes snapped open as a slight shuffle came from
>>>behind him.  Finished with his midnight chore, he listened intently, but
>>>no sound came again.  He turned around, gripping his cane like a weapon
>>>in one hand.
>>>
>>>"Hello," he said.
>>>
>>>No response came.  He turned back towards the house and as he walked,
>>>Ayden felt his back tingle.  It was the sensation he felt as a child
>>>when terrified, feeling a presence behind him.  He was thirty-years-old
>>>now, he chided himself.  Forcing himself to walk calmly back into the
>>>house, he reached the French doors and entered.  As he went to shut the
>>>doors, a soft shuffle started in the darkness again.  It could have been
>>>the long dead foliage of the garden rustling in the breeze, but Ayden
>>>couldn't be sure.  Placing himself in the doorway again, the noise
>>>instantly stopped.
>>>
>>>Slamming the door and locking it, Ayden flew to the stairs, taking three
>>>steps at a time.  Heart pounding, blood rushing in his ears, Ayden felt
>>>a cool breeze cut through the stuffy air of the bedroom.
>>>
>>>Danmit, he swore to himself.  They had opened windows before going to
>>>bed, hoping to air out their lodgings for the night.
>>>
>>>Salma still was sleeping peacefully on the bed.  He sat on the bed
>>>resting his head on the large carved headboard, listening.
>>>
>>>Crickets chirped outside and the breeze rustled the leaves of trees from
>>>time to time.  Salma continued her snoring as Ayden waited to hear the
>>>shuffle again or a step on the stairs, but nothing came.  He relaxed
>>>after fifteen minutes of his vigilante watch.
>>>
>>>Laying back down on the bed, one arm behind his head, he smiled when
>>>Salma threw an arm across his chest.  Thinking only of Salma by now,
>>>Ayden drifted back off to sleep.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>The second time Ayden woke he knew where he was, but something was not
>>>right.  Salma still snored next to him as he spooned her, but an acrid
>>>odor filled his nostrils.  A loud crack made him bolt up in bed.
>>>
>>>"Salma!  There's a fire!"  He shook her until she woke up.
>>>
>>>"We need to get out of here," Ayden shouted as she slowly regained
>>>conscienceness.
>>>
>>>Ayden flew to the open door.  Smoke filled his nose and made his eyes
>>>water.  "Salma, I can't tell if we can make it down the stairs."
>>>
>>>Standing next to him, she said, "All I can see is smoke.  Can we jump
>>>out the window?"
>>>
>>>"We're on the second floor.  It's pretty high up."
>>>
>>>Now across the room, Salma cry, "Oh-my-god!  Ayden!"
>>>
>>>"What?"
>>>
>>>"I can see flames around the base of the house."
>>>
>>>"Shit."  Trying to think, Ayden gathered up the sheet from the bed.
>>>Dousing it with water from bottles purchased the night before, he threw
>>>the sheet in Salma's direction.  "Wrap yourself in this."
>>>
>>>"Why?"
>>>
>>>"Just do it."
>>>
>>>Making sure her long hair was covered, Ayden threw Salma over his broad
>>>shoulder.  Grabbing his cane by the door, he moved into the hallway.
>>>Hoping the shirt tied around his face would keep out smoke, Ayden ran to
>>>the top of the stairs.  Despite the situation, Ayden could not help
>>>notice the harlequin-romance-like predicament.
>>>
>>>He heard Salma say something, but her face was muffled and he could not
>>>understand her.  Tucking his cane underneath his arm, he groped the
>>>banister which still seemed intact.  Finally reaching the bottom, he
>>>found his way to the front door and opened it.
>>>
>>>A rush of fresh air greeted him.  Feeling heat, he hoped they could make
>>>it off the porch.  At the porch steps, panicked, he placed Salma upright
>>>again.  She struggled to loosen the sheet around her.
>>>
>>>"Are the flames here too?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>"No, but there coming from behind."
>>>
>>>At the end of the drive, Ayden dialed 911 on his phone.  Neighbors could
>>>be heard coming from their own houses.  A few ran up to Ayden and Salma
>>>asking if they were okay.
>>>
>>>Standing at a distance, the flames roared.  Salma held his hand as they
>>>waited in silence for the sound of sirens.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden rested on the back bumper of Sheriff Jenkins's police cruiser.
>>>The mid-morning sun warmed his face.  Still shirtless, a blanket draped
>>>his shoulders.  A gritty smudge crossed his forehead and he could still
>>>smell the smoke embracing his body.
>>>
>>>Once the firemen had extinguished the fire, Sheriff Jenkins and his
>>>deputy, a man about Ayden's age, drove Salma and Ayden to the police
>>>station.  Each gave a report before Ayden's father was contacted.
>>>
>>>Salma approached Ayden now offering a cup of water.  He gulped the cool
>>>liquid down as she rested her head against his shoulder.  Sniffing her
>>>hair laced with the jasmine and vanilla scent and smoke, Ayden
>>>protectively placed an arm around her.
>>>
>>>"Ayden," Salma said in quiet surprise, "Alice Madison's here."
>>>
>>>Ayden pulled the blanket closed as he waited for Alice to approach.  A
>>>new scent filled his nostrils.  This too smelled of flowers, but it was
>>>not the framiliar scent Salma wore.  Through the fog of his brain, he
>>>tried to place where he had smelled this before.
>>>
>>>"I'm glad you two are alright," Alice spoke quietly.  "I can't believe
>>>this.  Do you need anything?"
>>>
>>>"Thank you, but we're okay," Salma said warmly.
>>>
>>>"Pete phoned me this morning-"
>>>
>>>"Sheriff Jenkins?  Why?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>Alice didn't respond.
>>>
>>>Waiting for an answer, Ayden finally recognized the flower scent that
>>>had lingered in the closet where he and Salma had found bed linens.
>>>
>>>"Alice, did you visit the house after we left you yesterday?"
>>>
>>>Alice made a suppressed-sounding noise.  She never answered and before
>>>Ayden could ask anything else, her muffled footsteps padded on the grass
>>>as she walked briskly away.
>>>
>>>"Ayden?" Salma puzzled.
>>>
>>>"Her perfume, it's the same smell I noticed in the closet last night."
>>>
>>>"Ayden, that's where I found the letter too," Salma whispered.
>>>
>>>Ayden heard the swish of grass as someone else walked towards them.  It
>>>was His father, Nick.
>>>
>>>"Are you crazy?" Nick asked, bewildered.
>>>
>>>"I'm fine.  Nice to see you too, Dad."
>>>
>>>Nick let out a long breath before saying, "Your mother and I went crazy
>>>when we heard what happened.  We're glad you're okay."
>>>
>>>"Is the house ruined?" Ayden asked.
>>>
>>>Salma shifted and sat upright next to Ayden.
>>>
>>>"It's mostly the garden that was ruined, but there is damage to the
>>>house."
>>>
>>>Ayden felt his chest tighten.  The garden had been His grandmother's
>>>favorite place.  Ayden remembered playing among the walk-ways and tall
>>>bushes as she tended to her beloved flowers.  Interrupting his thoughts,
>>>he heard a shuffling footstep approach.  Another memory pushed itself
>>>front and center in his mind.  As Sheriff Jenkins stopped his pace,
>>>Ayden gave a hard look in the direction of the noise.
>>>
>>>"Tom says it will take a few weeks to get reports back, but there is
>>>some structural damage to the house, Nick," the sheriff said.
>>>
>>>"Taken any midnight strolls to clear your mind lately?" Ayden directed
>>>to Sheriff Jenkins.
>>>
>>>No one spoke.  Salma gripped his hand.
>>>
>>>"Any reason why you'd call Alice Madison early this morning?" Ayden
>>>asked.
>>>
>>>"Drop it," Nick hissed.
>>>
>>>Thrown off by his father's tone, Ayden squeezed Salma's hand, unsure
>>>what to do.
>>>
>>>"I'm sure we're all tired and need to collect our thoughts," Sheriff
>>>Jenkins said.  "Maybe you ought to take these two home, Nick."  He
>>>shuffled off.
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>
>>>Ayden sat in front of the computer.  A humming buzz issued from the
>>>speakers as Ayden worked.
>>>
>>>"Still working?" Salma asked from behind.
>>>
>>>Ayden leaned his head back against her stomach.  She was wrapped in a
>>>large soft towel.  Remembering last night, he slipped his hand through
>>>the folds, but she turned swiftly away, laughing.
>>>
>>>It had not been the first night one of them slept over at the other's
>>>apartment, but it had been their first time together.  Excitement had
>>>rushed over Ayden, but it had not felt awkward.
>>>
>>>Salma spewed a torrent of Spanish at him, and he chuckled.  "That just
>>>turns me on more."
>>>
>>>"I called you a great big moron whose brain is tiny like his-"
>>>
>>>"Doesn't matter.  Still sounds sexy."
>>>
>>>Salma whipped another towel at him before scampering to the bedroom.
>>>Turning back to his work, Ayden decided to check his email.
>>>
>>>As he clicked on the necessary links using Hotkey commands, he thought
>>>over the past few weeks.
>>>
>>>Ayden had told his father what happened, but Nick said that everything
>>>was circumstantial.  Ayden knew this, but he also knew he had opened
>>>something up.  Something that had been meant to remain secret.  Nick
>>>refused to open any investigation and he remained tight-lipped.
>>>
>>>The fire was officially reported as an unknown accident since no
>>>evidence, either way, had been found determining a cause.  This, at
>>>least, was how the police report read.  Ayden, though, had inquired into
>>>the fire-chief's report.  It too was inconclusive, but this report did
>>>mention that a match book had been found near the premises.  Salma had
>>>advised him to wait before attempting any further investigation.  She
>>>was worried about him.  Unsure if the fire had been an accident or not,
>>>he agreed with her.
>>>
>>>She had been the reason he was able to let the weeks slip by without
>>>searching for more clues.  Once they had returned to the city a couple
>>>of days after the fire, Ayden had found the courage to express his
>>>budding feelings towards her.
>>>
>>>They had sat on the couch talking; a typical Friday night for them,
>>>except this time Ayden could feel a growing anticipation between them.
>>>
>>>Salma had stood to get another beer from the kitchen when Ayden reached
>>>for her wrist.  His large palm had felt bigger next to her slim wrist.
>>>Both had stared silently at one another.  Ayden, thinking he would win
>>>this game since he couldn't see, broke first.  Grinning with a smirk, he
>>>had pulled Salma to him and kissed her.
>>>
>>>Weeks later, their routine was continued as normal, yet something was
>>>different.  They had transitioned into this new element with ease, as
>>>though it were meant to be.  Their friendship was strengthened by the
>>>new romance.
>>>
>>>Still reminiscing, Ayden did not recognize the name given for the first
>>>email he came across.  Opening it up, he read the following:
>>>
>>>I'm glad you have stopped your investigation.  It is best to let the
>>>dead rest.  Enjoy your new love and look only towards the future.
>>>
>>>There was no signature.  Alarmed, Ayden checked the From field, but the
>>>only information this provided was  <mailto:aconcernedfriend at gmail.com.>
>>>aconcernedfriend at gmail.com.
>>>
>>>Ayden's pulse quickened.  Hearing Salma pad lightly back into the room,
>>>he closed the window he was in.  He thought it was best to not alarm her
>>>just yet.
>>>
>>>"Wann' stay here again tonight?" he asked.
>>>
>>>"You know, we live across the hall from one another.  Should we just
>>>make this permanent?"
>>>
>>>"Sure you can live with a guy?"
>>>
>>>"Well, I guess if it's you I can."
>>>
>>>He lunged for her, but she ran giggling across the room.
>>>
>>>"This is the great thing about dating a blind guy, he can't catch me."
>>>
>>>"Oh yeah?"
>>>
>>>Salma shrieked as he flung his body across her path, blocking her dash
>>>to the bedroom.  Holding Salma close against him, wrapping her in a bear
>>>hug, Ayden knew this was just the beginning.
>>>
>>>_______________________________________________
>>>Writers Division web site:
>>>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>>
>>>stylist mailing list
>>>stylist at nfbnet.org
>>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>>>for stylist:
>>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddunsemusic.com
>>>
>>>
>>>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
>>>signature database 5555 (20101022) __________
>>>
>>>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>>>
>>>http://www.eset.com
>>
>>
>>Brad Dunse
>>
>>Tell me, and I'll forget. Show me, and I'll remember. Involve me, 
>>and I'll learn
>>
>>E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com
>>
>>Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com
>>
>>Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555
>>
>>Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse
>>
>>MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse
>>
>>
>>_______________________________________________
>>Writers Division web site:
>>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>>
>>stylist mailing list
>>stylist at nfbnet.org
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info 
>>for stylist:
>>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/jbron%40optonline.net
>
>
>
>_______________________________________________
>Writers Division web site:
>http://www.nfb-writers-division.org <http://www.nfb-writers-division.org/>
>
>stylist mailing list
>stylist at nfbnet.org
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/listinfo/stylist_nfbnet.org
>To unsubscribe, change your list options or get your account info for stylist:
>http://www.nfbnet.org/mailman/options/stylist_nfbnet.org/lists%40braddunsemusic.com
>
>
>__________ Information from ESET Smart Security, version of virus 
>signature database 5555 (20101022) __________
>
>The message was checked by ESET Smart Security.
>
>http://www.eset.com
>
>


Brad Dunse

If you repeat yourself
Repeat yourself
Repeat yourself
You might be a songwriter. --Anonymous

E Mail: brad at braddunsemusic.com

Website: http://www.braddunsemusic.com

Facebook: http://www.facebook.com/#!/profile.php?id=1464323555

Twitter: http://www.twitter.com/braddunse

MySpace: http://www.myspace.com/braddunse