[stylist] my christmas story

[Ashley Bramlett]

Vejas,
Oh it could have been real. I mean there was nothing fantasy like about it 
and since the exercise said to write about a Christmas experience, I assumed 
it was real. still could have had more description for the characters.

Well, if i t was imagined, you have a good imagination then.

-----Original Message----- 
From: vejas
Sent: Thursday, December 08, 2011 11:27 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] my christmas story

It's not my real story; it's made-up.
Did it seem real enough to be real?
Vejas


----- Original Message -----
From: "Ashley Bramlett" <bookwormahb at earthlink.net
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Thu, 8 Dec 2011 22:34:35 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] my christmas story

Vejas,
It was short but too long for the email; over 1000 words.

Nice story.  You write like I do with my personal stories.  I
just start at
the beginning of day and walk the reader through the day's
events.
You sure went through a lot with those grades.

I think your weak point is the ending.  I just thought it ended
abruptly.  It
could have been much longer, but I know you were just writing for
the list
and practice.  I think when you have a few spare moments, write
two or three
paragraphs more.  Tell us why Christmas day was so great.  You
said your
mother made a good breakfast.  Describe that, like the aroma, how
your
siblings liked it, etc.  Then to conclude you said you liked your
presents.
No wonder.  They sounded good for a teenage boy! Tell us a little
more about
the presents.  You could say what thoughts went through your head
as you
opened the presents.  Were you surprised? What was your favorite
of the seven
Cds?

The last part as you tell us you loved Christmas morning and
getting your
presents sounded a bit rushed.  Just adding description and
dialogue will
make it a better story and lead up to the conclusion which is you
telling us
you got these wonderful gifts.

Ashley
-----Original Message-----
From: vejas
Sent: Thursday, December 08, 2011 9:44 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org ; Joey Ellis ; Daina Banzelite ; Ruta
Banzelite ;
Ryan Patel
Subject: [stylist] my christmas story

  Hi,
To Stylist members, I am sending this to my two friends and twin
cousins as well, in case you were wondering about the extra
contacts.
This story is not about the worst Christmas season either.  Or
the best.
It's about both.  At first I was going to do just the worst, but
I thought worst AND best would be the perfect creation.

Please, feel free to comment upon this.  It's short, but I hope
you'll enjoy it anyway.
I've attached it in Microsoft word in adition to pasting it here
in the document.
Oops-I think my story's too long for the e-mail.  Bridgit, since
you can't read attachments, I'll try sening a copy for you.
Actually, let me try one more time.
Oops-it won't take it.  I'll send your copy now.
Vejas






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