[stylist] Christmas story assignment try again

[Robert Leslie Newman]

Eve 2 things:

#1 I'm wondering this --- Using the main character's name as many times as
you did, almost at the beginning of each sentence, was that on purpose? Mrs.
Haderly, Mrs. Haderly, Mrs. Haderly!!! For a story, that was super annoying!
I'm thinking you use it at the beginning of a new paragraph, a new thought
and from there, within that same paragraph, you then would refer to her
doing something with "her," "she" and like that. If the repeating of her
name was a purposeful ---- mmm, gimmick  to create something --- mmm, an
accepted writing/reading style --- what was it? (I'm not trying to be mean
spirited in saying and/or asking all this. We on this list truly need to be
straight, yet respectful  in our questioning of one another.)

#2 I did like the sentiment of the story. Much of what we show on the
outside is not what we show behind closed doors. (Holidays sure can be a
time for mixed emotions.)



-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Eve Sanchez
Sent: Friday, December 09, 2011 8:31 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: [stylist] Christmas story assignment try again

Here it is I attached and pasted. Curious of what your guys' readers read
'Mrs'. Mine says letter by letter rather than the word that sounds like
Missus. Drives me nuts. Is it just my crappy stuff or do they all do this?
Eve




Christmas Spirit

by Eve Sanchez


The neighbors all agreed that Mrs Haderly had the most Christmas spirit of
all of them. They often said she was an inspiration during the holidays.
Mrs Haderly had to be in her eighties and she lived alone. Every year Mrs
Haderly opened up her garage and took out her rickety wooden ladder. With
many impressed on lookers Mrs Haderly would climb up and down that ladder
hanging lights and moving the ladder along as she went.

The neighbors were impressed when they saw Mrs Haderly pull into her
drive-way every year with a fresh cut tree that was purchased at the local
charity tree lot strapped to the roof of her car. Many neighbors watched
with wonder as Mrs Haderly cut the twine holding the tree in place so that
it fell to the ground. Mrs Haderly would then drag that tree into her house
and set it up near the front window for all to see. Mrs Haderly used her
antique Christmas tree stand that caused the tree to lean to one side, but
this did not bother her. Mrs Haderly would be seen stringing lights around
the tree before carefully hanging the most beautiful glass ornaments you
would ever see.

Mrs Haderly would wrap the posts of her porch with garlands and holly. A
wreath of green and gold with silver bells would hang from Mrs Haderly's
door to greet visitors. Mrs Haderly would always bake small fruit cakes for
the mail man and the paper boy. Mrs Haderly would wrap these loaves with
foil and ribbon. The neighbors saw her leaving these in the boxes and smile
at Mrs Haderly's generosity.

When walking by Mrs Haderly's house, Christmas classics sung by Bing Crosby,
Burl Ives, and Nat King Cole could be heard playing. The neighbors would
smile at Mrs Haderly's Christmas spirit. "She's an inspiration to all of
us." they would say. In the front yard, to go with the carols being played
was a plastic trio of carolers that Mrs Haderly had placed out every year
since 1968. It would stay there until the end of the holiday season when Mrs
Haderly would take down the Christmas lights.

The neighbors were impressed by Mrs Haderly and her devotion to Christmas.
Every night Mrs Haderly would turn on the outside lights as well as the
twinkling lights of her Christmas tree. Mrs Haderly would then sit down in
her recliner admiring the beauty of her tree topped with a porcelain and
satin angel with feathery wings. As Christmas approached and the nights got
chillier, Mrs Haderly still ventured out to turn on her Christmas lights and
inspired the neighbors with her spirit.

On Christmas Eve Mrs Haderly would bake cookies of many types. When evening
came she would take the prettiest of these cookies and place them on a plate
with a golden ribbon trimming it's scalloped edge. Mrs Haderly would place
these cookies on a small table next to her recliner facing the tree.
Mrs Haderly would sit and look at the tree with the colored lights and the
ornaments from years past and fall asleep.

On Christmas morning the tree would be the first thing Mrs Haderly would see
when she woke. The neighbors would be coming and going outside and seeing
Mrs Haderly's lights still on, they would smile about her Christmas spirit.
"Mrs Haderly is an inspiration to us all." they would say. Inside, sitting
alone in her recliner, looking at her decorated tree, Mrs Haderly would
silently cry.