[stylist] Story of hoodlums

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

JC,

I really liked the beginning, too, of your story.  That imagery just
sets the whole piece up.

Exercises can really be as long as short as you want, but for this list,
I guess shorter is better!  *smile*  When a piece is growing, try
replacing some of the "tell" with "show."  Great little story
though--nice mood and setting too.

Transitions can be tricky.  For screen reading users, adding something
like at the police station wouldn't hurt, but, at least the way I have
been taught, that white space is enough to indicate change with out
stating in the language.  Although, at some point you want to establish
location.  Good suggestion to add that in.

Bridgit