[stylist] Story of hoodlums

[James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR]

thanks Bridgit.
I enjoyed writing for this.
jc

At 12:56 PM 1/10/2011, you wrote:
>JC,
>
>I really liked the beginning, too, of your story.  That imagery just
>sets the whole piece up.
>
>Exercises can really be as long as short as you want, but for this list,
>I guess shorter is better!  *smile*  When a piece is growing, try
>replacing some of the "tell" with "show."  Great little story
>though--nice mood and setting too.
>
>Transitions can be tricky.  For screen reading users, adding something
>like at the police station wouldn't hurt, but, at least the way I have
>been taught, that white space is enough to indicate change with out
>stating in the language.  Although, at some point you want to establish
>location.  Good suggestion to add that in.
>
>Bridgit
>
>
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