[stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 81, Issue 17

[James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR]

thanks Kerry,
yes, I think of it like this.  inside my head are these giant 
oversized wheels and gears.  once they get cranking,  they just can't 
stop at 500-words, LOL!
I did struggle over the use of "reprimand."

and you and I are indeed on the same wavelength, Cagney was the first 
one I thought of to play  the former hoodlum turned great man.
three ways could expand the story that occurred to me:
as noted by bridgit, St. Brendan finds out why Sean got so muddy and 
decides to do something about street toughs in san francisco.  of 
course this connects more to his own history.  vaguely I think there 
were a couple of movies in the 40's made related to this theme, one 
involved boxing I think.
second, we more follow Sean himself who has been so exemplary but 
falls into the trouble with the hoodlums again.  however, because of 
the incident in my story as just presented, St. Brendan has been 
following Sean's life secretly and is able to save him from some 
great danger.

third, does the great man have a wife or family member who knows his 
true history?  his wife learns of the event in my story just 
presented.  and helps the great man to freely admit who he really is 
and where he really came from.  freeing him from hiding his own 
hoodlum past, and in the process he transforms san francisco society 
and culture.  in this scenario his wife would be quite a hero indeed.

but like I said, in my head there are these giant wheels and gears ...

thanks Kerry.   your Marooner series sure did look good what I read.
jc


At 10:37 PM 1/10/2011, you wrote:
>Jim,
>
>lol. You and I both have difficulty with 500 words or less. In my 
>own case I think of the problem, rather inelegantly, as diarrhea of 
>the pen. I once tackled a writing exercise from a book. The 
>instructions said to write one paragraph to one page. I wrote four 
>pages before crashing. Mind you, I've never regretted it. Those four 
>pages are the germ from which Marooner's Haven has grown. But, 
>still, it illustrates the point. Brevity and I don't play well together. *grin*
>
>BTW if you decide to expand the story, I'd love to see the result.
>
>Though you directed your question to Bridgit, I'm going to stick my 
>oar in too. If I were to revise this paragraph, I'd take out the 
>phrase, "reprimanding Sean." Removing this phrase tightens and 
>strengthens the paragraph IMO.
>
>You wrote:
>
>"yes, Dennis Day could play Sean I think."
>
>And, who to play the great St Brendan? James Cagney, maybe?
>
>Donna's got an idea, there. Another story about Sean, ormaybe 
>another chapter in a novel? It can happen. My dragon Christmas 
>stories started out as just stories, connected by being about the 
>same characters. But, when I asked Robert to read the series, he 
>said it looks suspiciously like a novel to him. So, if you 
>accumulate enough stories about Sean...
>
>Kerry
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