[stylist] Story of hoodlums/choice of verbs

[LoriStay at aol.com]

Sometimes choice of verbs can balance all this better.   for example;   He 
scurried into the house.
or
he hastened into the house.

i could probably choose better, but you get the idea.   I wouldn't use the 
word 'suddenly' as I think that weakens the sentence.

Lori
In a message dated 1/10/11 6:50:31 PM, n6yr at sunflower.com writes:


> indeed,
> that's the first question I ask myself when I am reading over the
> composition with an eye to editing or shortening.  but I have to
> balance with imagery and effect.
> I could write:
> He ran into the house.
> or for the emotional place in the story, need of the character, etc.,
> maybe it is better to say:
> looking anxiously over his shoulder, he suddenly ran into the house
> for shelter.
> 
> jc
> 
>