[stylist] Story of hoodlums/choice of verbs

James H. "Jim" Canaday M.A. N6YR n6yr at sunflower.com
Wed Jan 12 01:03:29 UTC 2011


right.
but sometimes "suddenly might be appropriate given the context, what 
comes next.
was just example of how shorter is not always preferable.
jc

At 10:26 AM 1/11/2011, you wrote:
>Sometimes choice of verbs can balance all this better.   for example;   He
>scurried into the house.
>or
>he hastened into the house.
>
>i could probably choose better, but you get the idea.   I wouldn't use the
>word 'suddenly' as I think that weakens the sentence.
>
>Lori
>In a message dated 1/10/11 6:50:31 PM, n6yr at sunflower.com writes:
>
>
> > indeed,
> > that's the first question I ask myself when I am reading over the
> > composition with an eye to editing or shortening.  but I have to
> > balance with imagery and effect.
> > I could write:
> > He ran into the house.
> > or for the emotional place in the story, need of the character, etc.,
> > maybe it is better to say:
> > looking anxiously over his shoulder, he suddenly ran into the house
> > for shelter.
> >
> > jc
> >
> >
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