[stylist] Fiction

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

I agree.  More descriptions of the surrounding bar as well as people.
Unless we are suppose to be in Mike's POV (which we aren't) we should
have more details of the aestethics.  It will place readers more firmly
in the narrative.

Bridgit

Message: 13
Date: Fri, 14 Jan 2011 17:38:50 -0600
From: "James H. \"Jim\" Canaday M.A. N6YR" <n6yr at sunflower.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] fiction
Message-ID: <201101142338.p0ENcq8S013920 at smtp.sunflower.com>
Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"; format=flowed

Chris,
this is good and it flows really well.

I saw that typo Donna mentioned, too.

I think you have a misuse of words, instead of debacle I think you 
meant defense of democracy [evil grin].

now, one thing I wanted a little more of in the story was descriptions:
so what does the barmaid look like?  for that matter, does mike look 
long and lean, a wolf, or is he built like a tank?

smell like what in the bar/shop?

good job Mike.
jc