[stylist] fiction

[Bridgit Pollpeter]

In the first paragraph, he describes the unlady-like-squatting.  I agree
that the narrator sounds more masculine, but we are given their gender
in the beginning with that description.

I would like more characterization to make this character more
believable, but we are aware of her gender up front.

Message: 21
Date: Sat, 15 Jan 2011 10:14:34 -0600
From: "Robert Leslie Newman" <newmanrl at cox.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] fiction
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I too enjoyed the story. And as was suggested, a little bit more info at
a few key points would be nice- I really didn't know the first character
being presented was a woman until a ways in (you'd think the reference
to the squatting thing would have been the point that tripped my
thoughts to female, but I really thought it was a guy doing that
thinking, and sure maybe being a little sexist in his description. 

(Those little add-in references of smell or sound that an author can
use, sure can add to the feel of a story.)