[stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna

Wed Jun 8 21:17:43 UTC 2011

Myrna,
This is beautiful -- so full of imagery and truth. Do the Haibuns always end
with the initial Haiku? Also, as an aside, I always wonder about what makes
something a poem and not prose. Sometimes, it seems like it's only
punctuation and what goes on one line. Some of the prose sections in this
could just as well have been free verse if you had broken them up. Anyway,
it's beautiful, and I'm glad you had a Mama who knew.

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 5:07 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna

Donna and whoever may enjoy reading.. this haibun is  very self-reflective 
in my journey of acceptance and discovery... I do hope you  enjoy!  My mind 
is now completely on the 'fritz' but at least my heart is  beating again.. 
nasty storm just went through that even gifted us with  hail.  We have not 
seen this kind of rain in over two months.. needless to  say the lightning 
strike only feet from my side fence was enough to still the  heart.. haha
Now 
the haibun...

In Colors Perfect

leaves of rose and  gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in colors perfect 

She was born of  autumn. Child of change and unexpected colors. Sunday's 
grace and dimpled trace  of September sun.  She was song of morning and 
silence of twilight.   Skipped between shadow and shimmer.  They loved her
anyway.

upon  rising wind
secrets fall, chasing the truth
whispered in  silence

Winter brought its sadness.  Chill of difference shivered  along spine.  
Whispers heard. Understood.  Blind?  Bah!   Clouded eyes, blurred vision did

not make one so.  Ignorance and self-pity  did.  She, defiant, dared labels 
be cast. Dared limitations be set by  anyone but herself.  Momma said no one

owed her anything. Nor should they  own her dreams.  Momma knew. Momma 
always knew.

and leaves lay  scattered
muted honesty of self
and blind acceptance

Spring and  summer.  Seasons of discovery.  Of passions.  Of  remembering.  
Of life.  Journeys begun and journeys done.   Finding words.  Painting 
pictures. Hearing sunsets.  Touching sky,  unbounded.  Chasing dreams. Her 
dreams.

renewal, sweetest
song of  determined spirit
new leaves emerging

Yes, she was born of autumn.  Child of change and unexpected colors. But 
she has known other seasons, other  reasons, other memories. And will
again..  
She is stubborn.   Relentlessly passionate.  Loves words.  Is still blind.  
And she  loves herself anyway.  Momma knew.  Momma always did.

leaves of  rose and gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in colors  perfect

C mdbadgerow 2008

In a message dated 6/8/2011 3:50:57 P.M. Central Daylight Time,  
penatwork at epix.net writes:

Myrna,
I would like to read examples of your Haibuns. I meant to  mention it in my
last post, but minds are on the fritz all over the place  *grin* And, please
post to the list; I'm sure I'm not the only one  interested.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From:  stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of  KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 4:09 PM
To:  stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Information about Tanka and its  writing

Donna,
To be honest I am not sure what 'kana' is... I'll  look  it up to find out 
as I had never heard of it before.. I don't  remember those  instructions 
including that before .. or has my mind  finally gone and lost  it...LOL  
The thing about haiku and tanka  is that they have  modernized... also you 
could be writing what is  called a senryu.. that's more  about emotions 
than 
nature.. I would  love to read some!  I have written  quite a few haibun
too..  
different animal but a lot of fun.. several have to do  with  blindness.. I 
can share them off list or on list if you'd   like.

In a message dated 6/8/2011 2:53:59 P.M. Central Daylight  Time,  
penatwork at epix.net writes:

Hi  Myrna,
You  remembered! Guess Grandma isn't as frazzled by youthful  exuberance  as
she thought! 

This is intriguing, but what, pray tell,  is  "kana?"

I'm going to post a couple haiku I just wrote, but my  guess  in reading 
this
is that they fall short of adhering to the  rules. I didn't  realize that
juxtaposition was necessary. For me,  they're a little slice of  life and
always about nature. I do, of  course, use the 5,7,5 syllables in  three 
lines
construction, and  I don't think I use metaphor or simile, but  I'll have to
re read with  that in mind.

I'm going to keep the Tanga  form in mind. I've  often thought I had 
something
else to say after the 17  syllables.  I wrote a song a couple of years ago 
in
which the verses and  bridge  were all Haiku. Guess that's another kettle of
fish   entirely.
Donna

-----Original Message-----
From:   stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf  Of  KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 2:42  PM
To:  stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Information about  Tanka and its  writing

As promised, Donna, here is the information  on Tanka   writing.  It is a 
very traditional form ....  however, it has  been  modernized and some
elements 
have been  changed or at least  made not so strict  once the English began  
writing them.  As  this article says it is because of  the  difference in 
syllabication  between the Japanese and English   languages.  This 
information
is  from  
ShadowPoetry.com.  It is a source  I've have used   extensively over the 
years.  I will share more Tanka and as   you  will see even I strayed from 
the

traditional syllable  count.  As I  side  note, my tanka collaborator and I 

developed a form which we  call the Haibun's  cousin, the  Tankabun. It
includes 
one tanka and  a prose edition.  If  you  are interested in it do let me  
know.

I can also  share an example of that  form too.  
For  those who are not  familiar with Haibuns they are  Haiku and prose  
combined in one  piece.  Here is the article on   Tanka...

Definition of  Tanka

An unrhymed Japanese  poem  consisting of five lines of  5/7/5/7/7 (5 kana 
in 
the first line, 7 kana  in  the second  line, 5 kana in the third line, 7 
kana in the fourth  line, and 7  kana  in the fifth line) totaling 31 kana. 

General  thoughts  on  Tanka

Tanka is generally written in two parts. The  first  three lines  is one 
part, and the last two lines is the second   part.

Tanka in English  is relatively new, so there are not  as  many guidelines 
as 
with haiku and senryu.  You may  include kigo  (season words), but it is 
not  
necessary.

One  exercise for  beginners is to write a  haiku and add two more lines.  

However,  tanka is not really  a longer haiku, and should not be thought  
of 
as  such. While  tanka does use many of the same elements such as    
juxtaposition, concrete imagery, and is usually centered around   nature,
tanka is  less 
constrictive.

You may use  metaphor,  simile, and many of the other  devices generally 
not  
used in haiku or  senryu. You may show a more personal and   emotional  
viewpoint.

If tanka were seen in a book that  contains only   Japanese poetic forms, 
they would be easily  recognizable. However, if the  same  poems were seen 
in
a  
freestyle poetry book, they may be  confused with any other   five line 
poem.

English tanka has not  totally found its  voice.  

Three ways to write tanka

There  are three  basic ways to  write tanka. 

1) Write 5 lines of  5/7/5/7/7.  Just replace one syllable  for one kana. 
Most English  speaking  writers do not do this, as there are too  many vast 

differences  between the Japanese and English language.

You  are   certainly free to do this, however, your tanka will be about   
one-third longer  than the Japanese tanka. There are some  Japanese  who 
think
this 
is the only real  way to write  tanka, but there are  others who feel that 
making English  writers  adhere to the form  serves no purpose.

2) Write 5  lines of 31 syllables or  LESS,  following the  
short/long/short/long/long form. This way, your tanka  will   achieve the 
same
basic effect as 
the Japanese   tanka.

3) Write 5 lines of  31 syllables or LESS, letting the  poem  dictate the 
line length. You are free to  experiment more  with this  last option.

Everyone who writes tanka must  make  their own  personal decision on which 
form they want to use. Some  experiment   with all three forms and find 
their 
own  paths.    
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