[stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna

Wed Jun 8 21:31:32 UTC 2011

Donna, thank you.. and no it doesn't have to end with  the initial haiku 
and I probably broke every haiku rule by doing so but it fit  the voice of the 
poem... and yes you are right.. they could have been a poem.. I  have 
actually taken free verse poetry and made them into haibun and haibun into  free 
verse.  I love to experiment and see what  happens...
Mom had a lot of experience.. I have not shared this  but I am the youngest 
of six kids and the third who was legally blind.  My  older brothers like 
to point out that they were the guinea pigs and I gleaned  all the benefits.  
They were probably right in their thinking.  Many  have asked if I was 
spoiled because of the 'blindness'.  My answer? Not at  all, spoiled because I 
was the baby, yes.. but because of the blindness? No  way.. I was not a 
novelty in the household..LOL

In a message dated 6/8/2011 4:18:24 P.M. Central Daylight Time,  
penatwork at epix.net writes:

Myrna,
This is beautiful -- so full of imagery and truth. Do the  Haibuns always 
end
with the initial Haiku? Also, as an aside, I always  wonder about what makes
something a poem and not prose. Sometimes, it seems  like it's only
punctuation and what goes on one line. Some of the prose  sections in this
could just as well have been free verse if you had broken  them up. Anyway,
it's beautiful, and I'm glad you had a Mama who  knew.

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org  [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of  KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 5:07 PM
To:  stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] a haibun to share with you and list,  Donna

Donna and whoever may enjoy reading.. this haibun is  very  self-reflective 
in my journey of acceptance and discovery... I do hope  you  enjoy!  My 
mind 
is now completely on the 'fritz' but at  least my heart is  beating again.. 
nasty storm just went through that  even gifted us with  hail.  We have not 
seen this kind of rain  in over two months.. needless to  say the lightning 
strike only feet  from my side fence was enough to still the  heart.. haha
Now 
the  haibun...

In Colors Perfect

leaves of rose and   gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in colors perfect 

She was born  of  autumn. Child of change and unexpected colors. Sunday's 
grace and  dimpled trace  of September sun.  She was song of morning and  
silence of twilight.   Skipped between shadow and shimmer.   They loved her
anyway.

upon  rising wind
secrets fall,  chasing the truth
whispered in  silence

Winter brought its  sadness.  Chill of difference shivered  along spine.   
Whispers heard. Understood.  Blind?  Bah!   Clouded  eyes, blurred vision 
did

not make one so.  Ignorance and  self-pity  did.  She, defiant, dared 
labels 
be cast. Dared  limitations be set by  anyone but herself.  Momma said no  
one

owed her anything. Nor should they  own her dreams.   Momma knew. Momma 
always knew.

and leaves lay   scattered
muted honesty of self
and blind acceptance

Spring  and  summer.  Seasons of discovery.  Of passions.   Of  
remembering.  
Of life.  Journeys begun and journeys  done.   Finding words.  Painting 
pictures. Hearing  sunsets.  Touching sky,  unbounded.  Chasing dreams. Her 

dreams.

renewal, sweetest
song of  determined spirit
new  leaves emerging

Yes, she was born of autumn.  Child of change and  unexpected colors. But 
she has known other seasons, other  reasons,  other memories. And will
again..  
She is stubborn.    Relentlessly passionate.  Loves words.  Is still blind. 

And she  loves herself anyway.  Momma knew.  Momma always  did.

leaves of  rose and gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in  colors  perfect

C mdbadgerow 2008

In a message  dated 6/8/2011 3:50:57 P.M. Central Daylight Time,   
penatwork at epix.net writes:

Myrna,
I would like to read examples  of your Haibuns. I meant to  mention it in my
last post, but minds are  on the fritz all over the place  *grin* And, 
please
post to the list;  I'm sure I'm not the only one  interested.
Donna

-----Original  Message-----
From:  stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org  [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of   KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 4:09 PM
To:   stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Information about Tanka and  its  writing

Donna,
To be honest I am not sure what 'kana'  is... I'll  look  it up to find out 
as I had never heard of it  before.. I don't  remember those  instructions 
including that  before .. or has my mind  finally gone and lost  it...LOL   
The thing about haiku and tanka  is that they have   modernized... also you 
could be writing what is  called a senryu..  that's more  about emotions 
than 
nature.. I would  love to  read some!  I have written  quite a few haibun
too..   
different animal but a lot of fun.. several have to do  with   blindness.. 
I 
can share them off list or on list if you'd    like.

In a message dated 6/8/2011 2:53:59 P.M. Central  Daylight  Time,  
penatwork at epix.net writes:

Hi   Myrna,
You  remembered! Guess Grandma isn't as frazzled by  youthful  exuberance  
as
she thought! 

This is intriguing,  but what, pray tell,  is  "kana?"

I'm going to post a couple  haiku I just wrote, but my  guess  in reading 
this
is that  they fall short of adhering to the  rules. I didn't  realize  that
juxtaposition was necessary. For me,  they're a little slice  of  life and
always about nature. I do, of  course, use the 5,7,5  syllables in  three 
lines
construction, and  I don't think I  use metaphor or simile, but  I'll have 
to
re read with  that in  mind.

I'm going to keep the Tanga  form in mind. I've  often  thought I had 
something
else to say after the 17  syllables.   I wrote a song a couple of years ago 
in
which the verses and   bridge  were all Haiku. Guess that's another kettle  
of
fish   entirely.
Donna

-----Original  Message-----
From:   stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org  [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf  Of   KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 2:42   PM
To:  stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Information  about  Tanka and its  writing

As promised, Donna, here is the  information  on Tanka   writing.  It is a 
very  traditional form ....  however, it has  been  modernized and  some
elements 
have been  changed or at least  made not so  strict  once the English began 

writing them.  As   this article says it is because of  the  difference in  
syllabication  between the Japanese and English    languages.  This 
information
is  from   
ShadowPoetry.com.  It is a source  I've have used    extensively over the 
years.  I will share more Tanka and  as   you  will see even I strayed from 

the

traditional syllable  count.  As I  side   note, my tanka collaborator and 
I 

developed a form which we  call  the Haibun's  cousin, the  Tankabun. It
includes 
one tanka  and  a prose edition.  If  you  are interested in it do  let me  
know.

I can also  share an example of that   form too.  
For  those who are not  familiar with Haibuns  they are  Haiku and prose  
combined in one  piece.   Here is the article on   Tanka...

Definition of   Tanka

An unrhymed Japanese  poem  consisting of five lines  of  5/7/5/7/7 (5 kana 
in 
the first line, 7 kana  in   the second  line, 5 kana in the third line, 7 
kana in the  fourth  line, and 7  kana  in the fifth line) totaling 31 
kana.  

General  thoughts  on  Tanka

Tanka is generally  written in two parts. The  first  three lines  is one 
part,  and the last two lines is the second   part.

Tanka in  English  is relatively new, so there are not  as  many  
guidelines 
as 
with haiku and senryu.  You may  include  kigo  (season words), but it is 
not   
necessary.

One  exercise for  beginners is to write  a  haiku and add two more lines.  

However,  tanka is  not really  a longer haiku, and should not be thought  
of  
as  such. While  tanka does use many of the same elements such  as    
juxtaposition, concrete imagery, and is usually centered  around   nature,
tanka is  less 
constrictive.

You  may use  metaphor,  simile, and many of the other  devices  generally 
not  
used in haiku or  senryu. You may show a more  personal and   emotional  
viewpoint.

If tanka were  seen in a book that  contains only   Japanese poetic forms,  
they would be easily  recognizable. However, if the  same   poems were seen 
in
a  
freestyle poetry book, they may be   confused with any other   five line 
poem.

English tanka  has not  totally found its  voice.  

Three ways to write  tanka

There  are three  basic ways to  write tanka.  

1) Write 5 lines of  5/7/5/7/7.  Just replace one  syllable  for one kana. 
Most English  speaking  writers do  not do this, as there are too  many 
vast 

differences   between the Japanese and English language.

You  are    certainly free to do this, however, your tanka will be about    
one-third longer  than the Japanese tanka. There are some   Japanese  who 
think
this 
is the only real  way to  write  tanka, but there are  others who feel that 
making  English  writers  adhere to the form  serves no  purpose.

2) Write 5  lines of 31 syllables or  LESS,   following the  
short/long/short/long/long form. This way, your  tanka  will   achieve the 
same
basic effect as 
the  Japanese   tanka.

3) Write 5 lines of  31 syllables or  LESS, letting the  poem  dictate the 
line length. You are free  to  experiment more  with this  last option.

Everyone  who writes tanka must  make  their own  personal decision on  
which 
form they want to use. Some  experiment   with all  three forms and find 
their 
own  paths.     
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