[stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna
KajunCutie926 at aol.com
KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Thu Jun 9 19:34:45 UTC 2011
Thank you very much, Shawn.. of all the haibuns I've written this is my
favorite and will likely always be. So your words mean much to me.
Myrna
In a message dated 6/9/2011 2:12:18 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov writes:
Wow Myrna! What a wonderful piece. The imagery is increadible.
Shawn
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 5:32 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna
Donna, thank you.. and no it doesn't have to end with the initial haiku
and I probably broke every haiku rule by doing so but it fit the voice of
the
poem... and yes you are right.. they could have been a poem.. I have
actually taken free verse poetry and made them into haibun and haibun into
free
verse. I love to experiment and see what happens...
Mom had a lot of experience.. I have not shared this but I am the
youngest
of six kids and the third who was legally blind. My older brothers like
to point out that they were the guinea pigs and I gleaned all the
benefits.
They were probably right in their thinking. Many have asked if I was
spoiled because of the 'blindness'. My answer? Not at all, spoiled
because I
was the baby, yes.. but because of the blindness? No way.. I was not a
novelty in the household..LOL
In a message dated 6/8/2011 4:18:24 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
penatwork at epix.net writes:
Myrna,
This is beautiful -- so full of imagery and truth. Do the Haibuns always
end
with the initial Haiku? Also, as an aside, I always wonder about what
makes
something a poem and not prose. Sometimes, it seems like it's only
punctuation and what goes on one line. Some of the prose sections in this
could just as well have been free verse if you had broken them up.
Anyway,
it's beautiful, and I'm glad you had a Mama who knew.
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 5:07 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] a haibun to share with you and list, Donna
Donna and whoever may enjoy reading.. this haibun is very
self-reflective
in my journey of acceptance and discovery... I do hope you enjoy! My
mind
is now completely on the 'fritz' but at least my heart is beating
again..
nasty storm just went through that even gifted us with hail. We have
not
seen this kind of rain in over two months.. needless to say the
lightning
strike only feet from my side fence was enough to still the heart.. haha
Now
the haibun...
In Colors Perfect
leaves of rose and gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in colors perfect
She was born of autumn. Child of change and unexpected colors. Sunday's
grace and dimpled trace of September sun. She was song of morning and
silence of twilight. Skipped between shadow and shimmer. They loved
her
anyway.
upon rising wind
secrets fall, chasing the truth
whispered in silence
Winter brought its sadness. Chill of difference shivered along spine.
Whispers heard. Understood. Blind? Bah! Clouded eyes, blurred vision
did
not make one so. Ignorance and self-pity did. She, defiant, dared
labels
be cast. Dared limitations be set by anyone but herself. Momma said no
one
owed her anything. Nor should they own her dreams. Momma knew. Momma
always knew.
and leaves lay scattered
muted honesty of self
and blind acceptance
Spring and summer. Seasons of discovery. Of passions. Of
remembering.
Of life. Journeys begun and journeys done. Finding words. Painting
pictures. Hearing sunsets. Touching sky, unbounded. Chasing dreams.
Her
dreams.
renewal, sweetest
song of determined spirit
new leaves emerging
Yes, she was born of autumn. Child of change and unexpected colors. But
she has known other seasons, other reasons, other memories. And will
again..
She is stubborn. Relentlessly passionate. Loves words. Is still
blind.
And she loves herself anyway. Momma knew. Momma always did.
leaves of rose and gold
dance beneath a crimson sun
in colors perfect
C mdbadgerow 2008
In a message dated 6/8/2011 3:50:57 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
penatwork at epix.net writes:
Myrna,
I would like to read examples of your Haibuns. I meant to mention it in
my
last post, but minds are on the fritz all over the place *grin* And,
please
post to the list; I'm sure I'm not the only one interested.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 4:09 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: Re: [stylist] Information about Tanka and its writing
Donna,
To be honest I am not sure what 'kana' is... I'll look it up to find
out
as I had never heard of it before.. I don't remember those instructions
including that before .. or has my mind finally gone and lost it...LOL
The thing about haiku and tanka is that they have modernized... also
you
could be writing what is called a senryu.. that's more about emotions
than
nature.. I would love to read some! I have written quite a few haibun
too..
different animal but a lot of fun.. several have to do with blindness..
I
can share them off list or on list if you'd like.
In a message dated 6/8/2011 2:53:59 P.M. Central Daylight Time,
penatwork at epix.net writes:
Hi Myrna,
You remembered! Guess Grandma isn't as frazzled by youthful exuberance
as
she thought!
This is intriguing, but what, pray tell, is "kana?"
I'm going to post a couple haiku I just wrote, but my guess in reading
this
is that they fall short of adhering to the rules. I didn't realize
that
juxtaposition was necessary. For me, they're a little slice of life and
always about nature. I do, of course, use the 5,7,5 syllables in three
lines
construction, and I don't think I use metaphor or simile, but I'll have
to
re read with that in mind.
I'm going to keep the Tanga form in mind. I've often thought I had
something
else to say after the 17 syllables. I wrote a song a couple of years
ago
in
which the verses and bridge were all Haiku. Guess that's another kettle
of
fish entirely.
Donna
-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of KajunCutie926 at aol.com
Sent: Wednesday, June 08, 2011 2:42 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Information about Tanka and its writing
As promised, Donna, here is the information on Tanka writing. It is a
very traditional form .... however, it has been modernized and some
elements
have been changed or at least made not so strict once the English
began
writing them. As this article says it is because of the difference in
syllabication between the Japanese and English languages. This
information
is from
ShadowPoetry.com. It is a source I've have used extensively over the
years. I will share more Tanka and as you will see even I strayed
from
the
traditional syllable count. As I side note, my tanka collaborator and
I
developed a form which we call the Haibun's cousin, the Tankabun. It
includes
one tanka and a prose edition. If you are interested in it do let me
know.
I can also share an example of that form too.
For those who are not familiar with Haibuns they are Haiku and prose
combined in one piece. Here is the article on Tanka...
Definition of Tanka
An unrhymed Japanese poem consisting of five lines of 5/7/5/7/7 (5
kana
in
the first line, 7 kana in the second line, 5 kana in the third line, 7
kana in the fourth line, and 7 kana in the fifth line) totaling 31
kana.
General thoughts on Tanka
Tanka is generally written in two parts. The first three lines is one
part, and the last two lines is the second part.
Tanka in English is relatively new, so there are not as many
guidelines
as
with haiku and senryu. You may include kigo (season words), but it is
not
necessary.
One exercise for beginners is to write a haiku and add two more lines.
However, tanka is not really a longer haiku, and should not be thought
of
as such. While tanka does use many of the same elements such as
juxtaposition, concrete imagery, and is usually centered around nature,
tanka is less
constrictive.
You may use metaphor, simile, and many of the other devices generally
not
used in haiku or senryu. You may show a more personal and emotional
viewpoint.
If tanka were seen in a book that contains only Japanese poetic forms,
they would be easily recognizable. However, if the same poems were
seen
in
a
freestyle poetry book, they may be confused with any other five line
poem.
English tanka has not totally found its voice.
Three ways to write tanka
There are three basic ways to write tanka.
1) Write 5 lines of 5/7/5/7/7. Just replace one syllable for one kana.
Most English speaking writers do not do this, as there are too many
vast
differences between the Japanese and English language.
You are certainly free to do this, however, your tanka will be about
one-third longer than the Japanese tanka. There are some Japanese who
think
this
is the only real way to write tanka, but there are others who feel
that
making English writers adhere to the form serves no purpose.
2) Write 5 lines of 31 syllables or LESS, following the
short/long/short/long/long form. This way, your tanka will achieve the
same
basic effect as
the Japanese tanka.
3) Write 5 lines of 31 syllables or LESS, letting the poem dictate the
line length. You are free to experiment more with this last option.
Everyone who writes tanka must make their own personal decision on
which
form they want to use. Some experiment with all three forms and find
their
own paths.
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