[stylist] Ignorance and education

Thu May 12 23:52:02 UTC 2011

Donna,

Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.

Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
people from thinking he is helping me.

Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.

On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.

The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
dress a monkey.

Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.

So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
giggles in my fitting room.

Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
environment.

This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
in a comedic light.

I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
by people who had no clue about blindness.

A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
me off before the next official stop.

The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
the street.

I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
crossing.

First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
trouble because you're stubborn."

I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
"The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
street."

I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.

The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.

Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
some of these laws were more widely known.

Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
disabilities.

I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.

I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
attitudes and ideas.

It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
teeth or tie our shoes without help.

When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
you too."

This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*

Bridgit

Message: 19
Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
Message-ID:
	<20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
Content-Type: text/plain;	charset="us-ascii"

Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
own
shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
"you
don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
to
be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
heck
out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
one.
Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
asked
who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
long
way to go.
Donna