[stylist] Ignorance and education

Fri May 13 00:25:16 UTC 2011

I use to play in a fairly large church in TX,and  rode with the music 
director to practices and such. One morning the bass player, kind of 
a young wisenheimer sort of in your face kind of guy came up to my 
side as I sat in my seat out in the congregation area. He said "Brad, 
this is Reese talking to you" I said "Yeah? I know that Reese" and he 
commented "Hey you're pretty good with voices aren't you" I said 
"Yeah. Well I can do John Wayne pretty good but having some 
trouble  with Porky Pig". About four rows in front I heard my music 
director burst into laughter. Reese got up without a word and went on 
his way. That pretty much straightened him out. I too was sighted for 
nearly 30 years of my life. The gradual RP fade though, and yes it is 
like having lived two entirely different lives. I will say one thing 
I've noticed. With the above example the exception, The area I have 
the least issue with where the cane is nearly invisible, is anyone in 
music or songwriting. There is a bond or commonality there that 
allows them to see musician to musician or artist to artist without labels.

Brad

On 5/12/2011  06:52 PM Bridgit Pollpeter said...
>Donna,
>
>Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
>to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
>I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.
>
>Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
>both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
>people from thinking he is helping me.
>
>Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
>room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
>and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
>on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.
>
>On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
>closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
>don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
>dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.
>
>The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
>each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
>dress a monkey.
>
>Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
>resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
>question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
>like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
>others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
>6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
>believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.
>
>So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
>in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
>explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
>giggles in my fitting room.
>
>Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
>environment.
>
>This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
>ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
>in a comedic light.
>
>I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
>by people who had no clue about blindness.
>
>A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
>ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
>me off before the next official stop.
>
>The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
>for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
>realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
>the street.
>
>I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
>streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
>crossing.
>
>First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
>off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
>I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
>comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
>company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
>Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
>for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
>right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
>believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
>all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
>trouble because you're stubborn."
>
>I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
>add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
>"The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
>street."
>
>I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
>did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.
>
>The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
>disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
>one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
>rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.
>
>Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
>most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
>scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
>some of these laws were more widely known.
>
>Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
>or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
>not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
>disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
>disabilities.
>
>I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
>blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
>around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
>regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
>most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
>for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
>task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
>to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.
>
>I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
>see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
>keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
>attitudes and ideas.
>
>It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
>flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
>teeth or tie our shoes without help.
>
>When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
>avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
>you too."
>
>This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*
>
>Bridgit
>
>Message: 19
>Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
>From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
>To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
>Message-ID:
>         <20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
>Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="us-ascii"
>
>Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
>own
>shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
>"you
>don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
>..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
>traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
>to
>be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
>little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
>heck
>out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
>one.
>Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
>asked
>who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
>long
>way to go.
>Donna
>
>
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Brad Dunse

life's too short to hurry and too long to worry --Elizabeth "Betsy" Burnam

http://www.braddunsemusic.com

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