[stylist] Ignorance and education

Fri May 13 00:32:06 UTC 2011

Hello all,

I'm sorry, I had to jump in here and add my two cents.

I must say I've been fortunate not to meet those people that ask me how I 
put on shoes or how I brush teeth. Good heavens! How do we brush our teeth/ 
Are we cave men and women all of a sudden?

I do get the occasional person that marvels at what I can do. Now mind you, 
I live in a place where the people are incredibly friendly and more tiems 
than not they're not the kind of people that deserve me biting their heads 
off. They genuinely can't imagine.

Which is what I get. Wow, I can't imagine not having my sight. I give you so 
much credit!

My biggest problem, at least 15 years ago, happened in my high school. I was 
considered visually impaired at the time and thus, could still see, but need 
my cane. My problem up to that point was night blindness, poor depth 
perception and lack of peripheral vision. But walking straight I was more or 
less fine.

Unfortunately, this conufsed many students. I even had one young ignorant 
high schooler say to my face that I was faking it. I can't tell you how 
outraged, how furious, how mad I was when she said that. I remember saying 
to her, you think I'm faking it? She said to me, yes. You're walking around 
using your eyes. So you can see. You're faking it.

I don't' remember what I said to her after that. I was so outraged I think I 
just said I wasn't faking it and trust me, no one would want to fake this. 
Then I stormed away.

Since then it's been better. At least most of the adults I meet aren't that 
cruel and understand there is a difference. But I do get the, how do you 
cook? question?

I get so upset sometimes by these questions, it's hard to hold your tongue. 
I try to say as politely as I can, you know, it's either try to find a way 
to do things or stay at home and do nothing. I mean, I have to live life, I 
can't hide away from the world.

I personally don't feel majority of people are stupid or even ignorant. I 
just think they're uninformed. It's been a passion of mine for years, ever 
since high school to re-enter those schools and ask permission to educate 
their youngsters. I have a story about this, but it's too long to tell here. 
But let's just say that my rehab for the blind and I partnered up to educate 
my school. Once that was done, I noticed a complete turnaround in attitudes 
the very next day. I was so amazed and shocked, but also glad. It made mye 
rest of my senior year in high school a whole heck of a lot better!

Sometimes I want to make my own t-shirt with a bullet-point list of dos and 
don'ts when dealing with blind people. Even that or maybe I should make 
those little cars you see at the check out stand at the bookstore with stuff 
like, stupid questions not to ask a blind person. Lol.

I better stop now while I'm ahead. peace all.
Natalie

--------------------------------------------------
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 1:52 PM
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Subject: [stylist] Ignorance and education

> Donna,
>
> Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
> to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
> I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.
>
> Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
> both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
> people from thinking he is helping me.
>
> Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
> room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
> and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
> on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.
>
> On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
> closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
> don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
> dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.
>
> The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
> each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
> dress a monkey.
>
> Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
> resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
> question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
> like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
> others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
> 6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
> believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.
>
> So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
> in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
> explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
> giggles in my fitting room.
>
> Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
> environment.
>
> This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
> ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
> in a comedic light.
>
> I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
> by people who had no clue about blindness.
>
> A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
> ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
> me off before the next official stop.
>
> The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
> for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
> realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
> the street.
>
> I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
> streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
> crossing.
>
> First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
> off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
> I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
> comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
> company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
> Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
> for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
> right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
> believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
> all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
> trouble because you're stubborn."
>
> I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
> add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
> "The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
> street."
>
> I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
> did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.
>
> The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
> disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
> one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
> rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.
>
> Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
> most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
> scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
> some of these laws were more widely known.
>
> Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
> or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
> not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
> disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
> disabilities.
>
> I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
> blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
> around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
> regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
> most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
> for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
> task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
> to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.
>
> I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
> see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
> keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
> attitudes and ideas.
>
> It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
> flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
> teeth or tie our shoes without help.
>
> When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
> avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
> you too."
>
> This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*
>
> Bridgit
>
> Message: 19
> Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
> Message-ID:
> <20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
> own
> shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
> "you
> don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
> ..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
> traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
> to
> be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
> little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
> heck
> out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
> one.
> Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
> asked
> who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
> long
> way to go.
> Donna
>
>
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