[stylist] Ignorance and education

Sat May 14 13:48:12 UTC 2011

Brad,
    I do a pretty good Porky Pig. It's Donald Duck I have problems with!

    My spiritual community asked me to do a talk about blindness, so I took 
that opportunity to address some of these things, like not assuming I 
recognize everyone's voice. I've got them pretty well trained to greet me 
with, "Hi, Marion, it's so-and-so!" Our treasurer has a very dry sense of 
humor and a very distinctive voice that he knows I recognize easily. After 
the talk he came up to me and said, "Hi, Marion, it's so-and-so!"
Marion


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Brad Dunse'" <lists at braddunsemusic.com>
To: "Writer's Division Mailing List" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 8:25 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Ignorance and education


>I use to play in a fairly large church in TX,and  rode with the music 
>director to practices and such. One morning the bass player, kind of a 
>young wisenheimer sort of in your face kind of guy came up to my side as I 
>sat in my seat out in the congregation area. He said "Brad, this is Reese 
>talking to you" I said "Yeah? I know that Reese" and he commented "Hey 
>you're pretty good with voices aren't you" I said "Yeah. Well I can do John 
>Wayne pretty good but having some trouble  with Porky Pig". About four rows 
>in front I heard my music director burst into laughter. Reese got up 
>without a word and went on his way. That pretty much straightened him out. 
>I too was sighted for nearly 30 years of my life. The gradual RP fade 
>though, and yes it is like having lived two entirely different lives. I 
>will say one thing I've noticed. With the above example the exception, The 
>area I have the least issue with where the cane is nearly invisible, is 
>anyone in music or songwriting. There is a bond or commonality there that 
>allows them to see musician to musician or artist to artist without labels.
>
> Brad
>
>
>
>
> On 5/12/2011  06:52 PM Bridgit Pollpeter said...
>>Donna,
>>
>>Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
>>to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
>>I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.
>>
>>Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
>>both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
>>people from thinking he is helping me.
>>
>>Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
>>room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
>>and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
>>on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.
>>
>>On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
>>closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
>>don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
>>dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.
>>
>>The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
>>each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
>>dress a monkey.
>>
>>Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
>>resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
>>question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
>>like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
>>others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
>>6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
>>believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.
>>
>>So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
>>in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
>>explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
>>giggles in my fitting room.
>>
>>Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
>>environment.
>>
>>This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
>>ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
>>in a comedic light.
>>
>>I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
>>by people who had no clue about blindness.
>>
>>A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
>>ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
>>me off before the next official stop.
>>
>>The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
>>for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
>>realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
>>the street.
>>
>>I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
>>streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
>>crossing.
>>
>>First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
>>off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
>>I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
>>comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
>>company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
>>Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
>>for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
>>right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
>>believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
>>all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
>>trouble because you're stubborn."
>>
>>I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
>>add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
>>"The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
>>street."
>>
>>I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
>>did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.
>>
>>The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
>>disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
>>one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
>>rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.
>>
>>Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
>>most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
>>scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
>>some of these laws were more widely known.
>>
>>Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
>>or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
>>not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
>>disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
>>disabilities.
>>
>>I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
>>blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
>>around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
>>regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
>>most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
>>for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
>>task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
>>to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.
>>
>>I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
>>see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
>>keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
>>attitudes and ideas.
>>
>>It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
>>flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
>>teeth or tie our shoes without help.
>>
>>When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
>>avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
>>you too."
>>
>>This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*
>>
>>Bridgit
>>
>>Message: 19
>>Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
>>From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
>>To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
>>Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
>>Message-ID:
>>         <20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
>>Content-Type: text/plain;       charset="us-ascii"
>>
>>Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
>>own
>>shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
>>"you
>>don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
>>..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
>>traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
>>to
>>be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
>>little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
>>heck
>>out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
>>one.
>>Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
>>asked
>>who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
>>long
>>way to go.
>>Donna
>>
>>
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>
> Brad Dunse
>
> life's too short to hurry and too long to worry --Elizabeth "Betsy" Burnam
>
> http://www.braddunsemusic.com
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