[stylist] Ignorance and education

Sat May 14 13:40:06 UTC 2011

Bridgit,
    I'll bet Ross looks pretty cute in one of your dresses he accidentally 
puts on! And are you sure you're not wearing his shoes?

Marion


----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Bridgit Pollpeter" <bpollpeter at hotmail.com>
To: <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 7:52 PM
Subject: [stylist] Ignorance and education


> Donna,
>
> Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
> to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
> I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.
>
> Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
> both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
> people from thinking he is helping me.
>
> Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
> room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
> and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
> on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.
>
> On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
> closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
> don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
> dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.
>
> The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
> each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
> dress a monkey.
>
> Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
> resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
> question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
> like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
> others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
> 6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
> believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.
>
> So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
> in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
> explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
> giggles in my fitting room.
>
> Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
> environment.
>
> This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
> ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
> in a comedic light.
>
> I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
> by people who had no clue about blindness.
>
> A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
> ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
> me off before the next official stop.
>
> The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
> for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
> realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
> the street.
>
> I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
> streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
> crossing.
>
> First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
> off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
> I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
> comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
> company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
> Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
> for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
> right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
> believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
> all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
> trouble because you're stubborn."
>
> I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
> add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
> "The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
> street."
>
> I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
> did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.
>
> The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
> disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
> one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
> rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.
>
> Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
> most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
> scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
> some of these laws were more widely known.
>
> Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
> or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
> not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
> disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
> disabilities.
>
> I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
> blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
> around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
> regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
> most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
> for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
> task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
> to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.
>
> I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
> see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
> keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
> attitudes and ideas.
>
> It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
> flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
> teeth or tie our shoes without help.
>
> When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
> avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
> you too."
>
> This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*
>
> Bridgit
>
> Message: 19
> Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
> Message-ID:
> <20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
> own
> shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
> "you
> don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
> ..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
> traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
> to
> be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
> little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
> heck
> out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
> one.
> Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
> asked
> who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
> long
> way to go.
> Donna
>
>
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