[stylist] Ignorance and education

Mon May 16 17:21:28 UTC 2011

Whoever came up with the phrase, "Ignorance is bliss" must have known people
who treat the handicapped like total imbeciles.  I love people who say,
'"How can you be blind.  You don't look blind."  To them I say, "If I looked
blind would you feel better?"  Then there are the sales clerks who insist on
pointing to a rack or shelf when I ask where something is.  If I politely
say, '"I'm sorry, but I'm blind and can't see where you're  pointing.  Can
you show me where it is?"  They just point again and turn away.  The world 
is full of people like this.  We have no idea what's on their minds and they 
don't have to realize that what they're communicating is insensitive and, 
quite frankly, dumb.  We have no idea if their loved one is criticly ill. 
No idea if the police just called to inform them that their child was picked 
up on drug charges.  No idea if their spouse of many or even a few years 
said "Good bye" last night.  Since none of us have the ability to read 
nminds lets give people we perceive as insensitive and dumb the benefit of 
the doubt.  Judith
----- Original Message ----- 
From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
Sent: Friday, May 13, 2011 4:45 PM
Subject: Re: [stylist] Ignorance and education


> Bridgit,
> Your store-clerk and bus-driver stories make my blood boil. I'm afraid I
> would have made a scene. I don't like being "grabbed" as I perceive it,
> for
> a number of reasons. As a guide dog user, I've had people at busy
> intersections just grab me out of the blue when the light changes. When I
> lived in Philadelphia, I got into the habit of standing my ground,
> extracting myself and then waiting for the next light. You only have a
> split
> second to determine if the person means you harm, and after some
> unpleasant
> incidents, I decided not to take chances. I always try to start off
> politely, but not wanting help and thinking that we're capable of doing
> things for ourselves are considered rude no matter how kindly you try to
> explain yourself. I would tell people that the dog needs to do his job,
> and
> unfortunately, if I didn't wait for the next light, it would be setting a
> bad precedent. Fortunately, no one seems to want to stick around for
> another
> change of the traffic lights.
>
> On the other hand, I had a friend who was so concerned about making
> "people
> who are just trying to help" uncomfortable, that she often allowed herself
> to be placed on a bus when she was just waiting to cross the street.
>
> I don't know how to really handle situations successfully with people who
> are as ignorant as the store clerk. I want to simply say, "Are you aware
> how
> utterly offensive your questions are?" It is that kind of thinking that
> keeps many educated and capable blind people unemployed. Did you attend
> the
> teleconference Robert set up with Braille Monitor editor Gary Wonder? He
> mentioned a boss who hired him, but later confessed that he almost didn't,
> because he thought someone on staff would have to help him go to the
> bathroom and such. Anyway, after 61 years, I can't seem to find the magic
> attitude that would allow that sort of thing to role off. It's a flaw that
> I
> have tried unsuccessfully to deal with.
>
> It's also interesting that you see a difference in how you and Ross are
> treated. That's something I've been aware of since childhood -- my brother
> is also blind. I like the idea of playing with these folks , but I made
> something up years ago when someone asked me how I got dressed, and it
> backfired. I told them that the government paid for someone to come every
> morning. They thought I was serious.
> Donna
>
>
> -----Original Message-----
> From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
> Behalf Of Bridgit Pollpeter
> Sent: Thursday, May 12, 2011 7:52 PM
> To: stylist at nfbnet.org
> Subject: [stylist] Ignorance and education
>
> Donna,
>
> Though I've encountered questions like this, I fortunately have not had
> to deal with that level of ignorance much.  It does happen, though, and
> I've learned to "deal" with it a little better over the years.
>
> Ross, the hubby, and I were shopping one day.  We are both blind and
> both use a cane, as I've mentioned before.  This still doesn't stop
> people from thinking he is helping me.
>
> Anyway, we decided to try some clothes on, and while in the fitting
> room, a fitting room attendant asked Ross if I needed help in the stall,
> and when Ross said no, the attendant asked how I would get my clothes
> on.  Mind you, I was present for this entire conversation.
>
> On average, I dress pretty trendy.  I follow fashion trends, and my
> closet is a rainbow of outfits.  I also usually wear make-up too, and I
> don't shy away from color here either.  It amazes me that I can be
> dolled up, but still have people not understand how I got that way.
>
> The attendant asked, and I've had others ask this, if Ross dresses me
> each morning.  I finally answered by saying I wouldn't trust him to
> dress a monkey.
>
> Now, we don't always do stuff like this, but at times, it is too much to
> resist.  While we continued to try clothes on, the attendant asked
> question after question.  And not the common sense ones, but things
> like, "How do you eat?" or, "How do you know if you are wearing the
> others clothes?"  Which let me say, I wear a size 4 and Ross is a
> 6-foot, 190 lbs. guy.  This person could clearly see, and yet they
> believed we got confused over whose clothes were whose.
>
> So, after asking Ross how he went blind, Ross grew quiet before saying
> in a broken voice that during an accident in the lab, there was an
> explosion, and that is how he lost his sight.  Meanwhile, I'm fighting
> giggles in my fitting room.
>
> Sometimes it's just more fun to make things up than to react to the
> environment.
>
> This situation was frustrating, but for me, this person was so clearly
> ignorant of more than blindness that it was difficult to not view this
> in a comedic light.
>
> I've been in other situations, though, when decisions were made for me
> by people who had no clue about blindness.
>
> A bus driver passed my stop for home, and the next official stop was a
> ways off from my house.  Being a "by-the-book" driver, he wouldn't drop
> me off before the next official stop.
>
> The plan was that I would get off the bus, cross the street, and wait
> for the bus going in the direction back towards my house.  I did not
> realize that the driver had asked another passenger to walk me across
> the street.
>
> I take the bus often, and I live in the city.  I cross all sorts of
> streets, and though this was a busy intersection, it was a fairly easy
> crossing.
>
> First, the bus stops in the middle of traffic during rush hour.  I step
> off and immediately, this woman explains her role.  I assure her that
> I'm okay, and she relents.  The driver,  freaks, gets off his bus and
> comes up and grabs my arm.  I explain I'm okay, but he insist it is
> company policy that he escort, "people like me," across the street.
> Crossing a busy city street during rush hour is not the time or place
> for a lesson on blindness, but I did firmly tell him that it is the
> right of any person to cross a street without help, but he just did not
> believe me.  Once across, I asked how he thought I'd been getting around
> all day without his help, to which he said, "I'm not going to get into
> trouble because you're stubborn."
>
> I was fuming, but my bus was waiting so I boarded.  I sat down and to
> add insult to injury, I over-heard another passenger on the phone say,
> "The bus was held up because a poor blind girl needed help across the
> street."
>
> I made a complaint to the bus company, though the manager I spoke with
> did not seem like he thought the ordeal was a big one to complain about.
>
> The real funny thing is that Ross, for his job, does
> disability-awareness training for the bus company at times, and this is
> one of the issues he addresses.  And we know for a fact that there is no
> rule about crossing blind people across busy streets.
>
> Legislation can be passed, but the public at large is usually unaware of
> most of these laws.  We try to educate when we can, but, like in my bus
> scenario, we don't always have the time to educate.  It would be nice if
> some of these laws were more widely known.
>
> Like everyone is aware that it is illegal to discriminate against race
> or ethnicity.  It still happens, but we know it is against the law.  But
> not many people are aware of laws providing rights to those with
> disabilities.  More wide-spread knowledge is necessary when it comes to
> disabilities.
>
> I was sighted for 22 years so when I was thrown into this world of
> blindness, I was caught off guard by how stupid people suddenly became
> around me, and people I have known for a long time.  I went from being a
> regular person to, over night, someone who could not do anything.  The
> most menial task is now, apparently, tedious, and at times, impossible,
> for me.  I hate that we are viewed as amazing for accomplishing daily
> task, like we contain some gene specific to blind people that allows us
> to do what others couldn't in the same circumstance.
>
> I fortunately didn't really struggle with my own blindness.  I didn't
> see an end to the road, but I realized I needed a few different tools to
> keep going down the same road.  My struggle has been everyone else's
> attitudes and ideas.
>
> It is one thing to believe blindness limits you, though this thinking is
> flawed, but, to me, it is another thing to be amazed we can brush our
> teeth or tie our shoes without help.
>
> When I'm told, "Good job," for things like walking down stairs or
> avoiding objects, I just smile my brightest smile and say, "Good job to
> you too."
>
> This usually throws people off guard, which I like.  *wicked grin*
>
> Bridgit
>
> Message: 19
> Date: Thu, 12 May 2011 10:56:06 -0400
> From: "Donna Hill" <penatwork at epix.net>
> To: "'Writer's Division Mailing List'" <stylist at nfbnet.org>
> Subject: Re: [stylist] stylist Digest, Vol 85, Issue 11
> Message-ID:
> <20110512145613.77AF22F80A2 at relay04.dlls.pa.frontiernet.net>
> Content-Type: text/plain; charset="us-ascii"
>
> Yes, yes, yes! There are those who marvel at the fact that I can tie my
> own
> shoes while "praising" me for being so independent. There's also the
> "you
> don't look blind" and "you're doing so well with your handicap; not like
> ..." Both of these make me feel like they're trying to get me to be a
> traitor to my own kind, by culling me from the herd. What? I'm supposed
> to
> be flattered that you see most blind people as subhuman and I'm just a
> little better than that in your estimation? It really aggravates the
> heck
> out of me. I haven't found an appropriate way to talk/write about this
> one.
> Dr. Maurer in one of his speeches mentioned that his wife's dentist
> asked
> who brushed her teeth for her. All I can say is that we have a long,
> long
> way to go.
> Donna
>
>
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