[stylist] Song Lyric: You Are the Air

[Donna Hill]

Hi Kerry,
Here's a thought. I don't know what about the refrain troubles you, but you
could make a truer rhyme in this without changing the meaning much:
Block quote
Whenever you're near
I can't be romantic.
But if you aren't here
I just seem to panic
Block quote end

How about changing "seem to panic" to "feel so frantic" or something like
that?

Also, I am a bit troubled by the use of the word "clinging." Not that it
isn't accurate, but it seems to shift the focus of the lyric from your
feelings to the other person's need. Maybe I just have a hair-trigger about
anything having to do with clinging. *grin*

One thing I really like in this refrain is something that the casual reader
and non musician might not pick up -- the opportunity for a melodic emphasis
on the rhyme between "nowhere" and "air." I hear it with "air" being a
sustained note (a full measure).
Block quote
Without you I'm nothing, I'm nowhere,
'Cause you, you are the air 
I breathe.
Block quote end

Donna

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On
Behalf Of Kerry Thompson
Sent: Wednesday, May 18, 2011 6:33 PM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] Song Lyric: You Are the Air

Hi friends,

This lyric is giving me trouble. The refrain is good and the bridge is 
OK. But the verses don't seem up to the level of the refrain. Any 
suggestions would be welcome.

You Are the Air

I'm not much for talk,
Words always confuse me.
I'd much rather walk
With you clinging to me
And muse over sunsets and moonrise
And how they compare to your eyes.

You are the air that I breathe,
The sunshine that warms my face,
The starlight that guides my way.
Without you I'm nothing, I'm nowhere,
'Cause you, you are the air I breathe.

Whenever you're near
I can't be romantic.
But if you aren't here
I just seem to panic
Until you come back and I hold you
And even though I've never told you,

You are the air that I breathe,
The sunshine that warms my face,
The starlight that guides my way.
Without you I'm nothing, I'm nowhere,
'Cause you, you are the air I breathe.

And living with you, life's a song.
Yes, days can be hard, nights are long.
But looking at you, I recall
My reasons to think life's a ball
You are them all.

You are the air that I breathe,
The sunshine that warms my face,
The starlight that guides my way.
Without you I'm nothing, I'm nowhere,
'Cause you, you are the air I breathe.

You are the air that I breathe,
You are the miracle of love to me.


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