[stylist] critique this story please if you have time

[Barbara Hammel]

I don't know what was meant by saying the parents were wooden but do be 
careful that you don't portray parents as stupid and knowing nothing.  Sure, 
they can be over protective and they can also not get a clue about the 
mind's workings of a child.  But you'll hopefully be a parent one day and 
all this portraying of parents as oafs and such in movies and TV--and some 
books--will come back and bite us.  Children really don't know best.  That's 
why they have parents to guide and care for them.
Barbara




Let every nation know whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay 
any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose 
any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.--John 
F. Kennedy
-----Original Message----- 
From: vejas
Sent: Monday, November 28, 2011 7:49 PM
To: Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] critique this story please if you have time

You mean the parents were wooden like robotic in a way?
Vejas


----- Original Message -----
From: "Jacobson, Shawn D" <Shawn.D.Jacobson at hud.gov
To: 'Writer's Division Mailing List' <stylist at nfbnet.org
Date sent: Mon, 28 Nov 2011 14:46:32 -0500
Subject: Re: [stylist] critique this story please if you have
time

Vejas

Fun story, I love how you imagined the whole Santa Clause story
and extended it.  I never thought of the Grand Hotel being
100,000 feet underground or of Santa's sleigh going to Mars.
It's cool to have the decendants of Scrooge hanging out with
Santa's children.

I think my only problem was that the story bogged down for me
with the repetition of names.  Also, I thought the Pontus parents
were a bit wooden at time.

Never the less, a good job.

Shawn

-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org
[mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of vejas
Sent: Sunday, November 27, 2011 12:31 AM
To: stylist at nfbnet.org; writers-chat at nfbnet.org
Subject: [stylist] critique this story please if you have time

Hi,
For all you writers-chat folks, I think I said I liked writing
for teens, but this story is an acception.  It's supposed to be
somewhat based on the "It's Beginning to Look a Lot like
Christmas" song (meaning you'll find a lot of reference to it in
this story.) Enjoy.
Thanks anybody who is willing to look this through real quick.
Vejas

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