[stylist] visual description was Re: Hemingway quote

[Homme, James]

Hi Chris,
This is in no way meant to be offensive.

Here are some opinions about wordiness. Those of us who are blind like too many words, because we like to have the spaces filled up. Sighted people like the same thing, except that they like the visual space filled up.

As writers, from my very limited education, we need to get our thoughts down, even if they are wordy, and then fall in love with our work too much to be totally brutal about editing it so that it allows our imaginations to pick up both what is there and what isn't.

Case in point. If you listen to popular music, you will notice that many of the lyrics are generic. I think they are successful, because they allow the listener to fill in the spaces with their life experiences.

Maybe it's my learning style coming out, here, but too many details keeps the work from allowing me to put myself in the story. Something in me wants to rebel when you tell me everything. I want to project how things look, feel, and smell onto the story. Too much detail makes me think that the author is telling me how I should act, feel, and react if I were the character, when I want to become the character, and live through the author's character, but through my senses.

Hopefully this makes sense.

Jim






-----Original Message-----
From: stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org [mailto:stylist-bounces at nfbnet.org] On Behalf Of Chris Kuell
Sent: Monday, October 10, 2011 9:26 AM
To: bjnite at windstream.net; Writer's Division Mailing List
Subject: Re: [stylist] visual description was Re: Hemingway quote

Hi Brenda,

That's a very interesting thought--maybe my critique group notices my lack
of description more because they are expecting it. That certainly could be
true, but I think primarily what they are looking for are descriptions of
characters, and one guy in particular is always asking--how could he do
that? You should explain more...

I was sighted before I went blind 14 years ago, and I retain most of my
visual memories. And what I don't have, I find either on the internet, in
books, or by asking. I'm married to a wonderful lady who happens to be
sighted, and she's great at narrating and filling me in on details, as are
my kids. The novel I'm working on now is set in Portland, Maine, which I've
visited a few times. The last time we were there I had my family narrate
things they saw, and I tried to pay attention to the feel and smell of
things. For instance, there's a street called Commercial Street, which is a
block away from the ocean, so the sounds and smells are there. The street is
cobblestone, which actually sucks when you're walking with an NFB cane, but
it's a great detail for my book. There are several Irish pubs, with music
and the smell of stale beer spilling out every time someone opens a door.
The street that runs along the edge of the harbor is Dock street, and the
smells of fish, the squawks of seagulls and commercial trucks are very
present. According to my family, most of the buildings are white, many look
weathered by the years of storms and sun, and the windows are tinged with
dried salt.

In my story, One writer's Tale, I've been to Kerouac's grave, although I
don't describe it. I also drove across country and spent a week in Montana,
which is how I was able to put in a few lines of description there, although
you could easily find similar descriptions on the web. Last spring I set a
story in Colorado, which I've never been to. But I have a friend who spent
some time there, and I read about it on the internet (travel and tourism
sites are often fairly detailed in their descriptions) and then I just made
up the rest.

Jim was quite correct in pointing out that the little details are often the
most important ones. I could spend half a page describing a man drinking a
cup of coffee, when a single line like--He lifted the World's Greatest Dad
mug slowly, noting the crack and the big chip at the rim, knowing he should
throw it out, but unable to make himself do so, and drank.--conveys much
more. One of my favorite lines of all time comes from a novel called,
'Something Rising Light and Swift' by Haven Kimell. It goes something
like--The Turner boys were the kind of red-neck, white trash who got their
jollies drowning puppies and taking target practice in the woods behind the
elementary school playground. There's no physical description here, but in
one line I feel like I know these guys, and want to steer well clear of
them.

All of which brings back the adage that every word counts. Although I'm not
a poet, I admire them for their word frugality--with only a few words, each
line must convey emotion. Same goes for song writing. Prose writers could
benefit from practicing such frugality, at least in my opinion.

chris






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